Part 5 (1/2)
”I had no idea, Mom. None. I had no idea that she was sick. Did she tell you she was?”
”Yes.”
”What!” I sat up in my chair, my hand flying from my eyes. ”Why didn't you tell me?”
”Would it have mattered, Emily?” I sighed again. I looked out the window. Alison had moved to her small front yard, her thin jacket blowing away from her bent over body by the increasing gusts of wind as she pulled some stray weeds.
”No. And to be even more honest, I'll never forgive myself. I wasted my last chance, Mom. Once again I wasted my chance. She needed me, and I couldn't be there. I slunk away from her. Again.” My voice began to quiver as the emotions sailed to the surface.
”What do you mean, Emmy? Again?” my mother asked, her voice confused.
”Nothing. Look, I'd better go. I was just about to order our plane tickets off the net when you called.”
”You know, that must be so handy having a second phone line for the Internet. I keep trying to get your father to get a second line here.”
”What, so your Solitaire game won't be interrupted?” I grinned.
”Hey, don't knock it, kiddo. I am the neighborhood champion, you know.” I chuckled.
” So what time? When?” I asked, turning serious again.
”What? The funeral? Uh, hang on. I have it right here.” Francis Thomas paused for a moment. I could hear the shuffling of newspaper in the background. ”Okay, here we go. It is Monday afternoon. The service is at the graveside. Uh, it starts at three.”
”Where?” I held my breath.
”Pioneer Cemetery.” I closed my eyes again.
”Okay. Talk to you later, Mom.” I clicked the off b.u.t.ton, and set the phone down on the desk harder than I intended to.
”I thought my great-grandmother's funeral went really good. I didn't really know her, though. So where do you think you'd want to be buried?” I asked Beth as I climbed up onto the top of the monkey bars. She dug the toes of her tennis shoes into the gravel at her feet as she twisted the swing first to her left, then to her right, the heavy chain twisted like a rope in front of her nose..
”Pioneer. It's the oldest cemetery in Pueblo.”
”Really?”
”Yup. But I am no way gonna be buried here. No way!” she exclaimed as she let go of the chain, her swing sharply twisting to the left, then smoothly to the right before stilling in the middle again. She grinned. ”Have you ever been there?”
”Nope.” I said as I hooked the back of my knees onto the bar I'd been sitting on, and let myself fall through the opening between the bars. My hair fanned out under me, my arms reaching for the ground that seemed just out of reach.
”We should go there.” Beth said, her voice wistful.
”Why? Ugh!” I exclaimed as I pulled myself back up with my stomach muscles.
”Because. It's peaceful. It's beautiful, and full of history.”
”Hm.” I said thoughtfully. With a shrug I said, ”Okay. We'll go there someday.”
The midday Friday traffic was grading on my nerves. With an exasperated groan I swung my Taurus off the main road, and decided to take the back route. This city amazed me. No matter what time of day or night, the highways were so overloaded with traffic that road rage never surprised me, and in fact I could relate.
I knew that Friday's at this hour Rebecca had a chemistry cla.s.s, and they would be doing a lab. Rebecca should be able to talk for a couple of minutes if I stopped on my way to Wal-Mart.
My conversation with my mother a couple hours before was playing through my mind, again twisting my nerves into knots. I could not believe Beth had told my mother about her sickness, but not me. There was a time when I would have been the first person she went to. The first to know, the first to comfort. Sadly, I realized, that time had come and gone many years ago. Then my thoughts went back to that day in the park. Did she call me there to tell her? Had my apathy toward the entire situation made her hold her tongue? These were questions I would never know the answers to.
With a sigh I grabbed a CD from the portable carrier, and slipped it into the car's player. Immediately my nerves settled as the soothing tones of Sarah Brightman coaxed my mood to relax. I began to sing along with the angelic voice as she sang 'All I Ask', a duet with Cliff Richards. The tune from Phantom of the Opera filled the confines of the car as I cranked the volume, losing myself, and forgetting about Beth for the first time in two days.
”How the h.e.l.l can you listen to that opera c.r.a.p?” I had asked, my brows drawn, hands on my hips as I watched Beth, her eyes closed, brows raising and falling with each climatic chord of La Traviata. She let out a long, slow breath as the aria came to an end and hit stop on her ca.s.sette player. She turned to me with a raised brow.
”Have you ever listened to it?”
”No.”
”Come here.” she pushed play as she grabbed my hand to stop me from running out of her room. The man's tenor filled the small, dark room, and my ears.
”This sucks,”
”No, Em. Don't you hear it?”
”Yeah, and it sucks!” I tried to pull away, but she kept me in an iron grip.
”No, don't just hear it, Em. Really feel it. Let it enter you, and fill you up inside.” she turned to face me. ”Close your eyes.” I just stared at her like she was crazy, my arms crossed over my chest. ”Please? For me? Do this, and if you don't like it, you never have to hear it again. Okay?”
”Fine.” I closed my eyes with a heavy sigh.
”Now, listen to what he's saying.” Beth said close to my ear, her voice soft and wistful.
”I don't know what he's saying. He's singing in Italian.”
”You don't have to understand the words, Em. Just understand the music and the emotion behind it.”
Still determined that she had lost her mind, but I listened anyway, and suddenly I knew what Beth was talking about. I felt a chill run down my spine, and my chest literally expanded with emotion, as if I had just taken a deep breath even though I couldn't breath at all. As his voice rose in his anguish, so did my eyebrows, and my heart rate. I felt his sorrow, his loss. Before I could do anything to stop it, I felt twin tears slip out of my eyes, lazily sliding down my cheeks to be followed by two others. I couldn't stop. The music rose to a hypnotic pitch, his voice leading the way up the hill, only to fall down the other side, slowly fading away until all I heard was the ringing in my own ears.
My eyes slowly opened to see Beth staring at me intently, waiting for my reaction. I could not speak as I felt my nose wrinkle and my eyes squeeze shut as more tears came in an all out sob. Beth smiled understanding, and gathered me into her arms.
”It's okay, Em. Pretty powerful stuff, huh?” I nodded as I continued to hiccup against her chest. ”It got me the first time, too. Still does sometimes.”
”It's amazing. Better then therapy.” I finally managed. I could feel her chuckle vibrate against the side of my head.
PART 3.
I PULLED INTO the visitor's parking lot of Rebecca's school and turned everything off, glanced up at the large red brick building that was Bovine High. I made my way toward the front doors of the ma.s.sive high school, my hands buried in the deep pockets of my coat, my head bent against the brisk wind.
”How are you doing, Frank?” I asked the security guard who held his post at the double front doors.
”How goes it, Emily? Cold one today, eh?”
”You know it.” I smiled at the older man, and entered the building. The halls were mostly deserted as the second to the last cla.s.s of the day was half into it. I could hear the click clack of someone's high heels in an unseen hallway to my left. I removed my bulky London Fog and carried it in my arms as I headed toward the third floor where my lover's cla.s.sroom was.
”Ms. Kelly? I need your help over here. This isn't turning out right.” One of the students was saying as I walked through the open doorway of Rebecca's room.
”Okay, Brian. Hang on a minute.” I spotted the woman with the dark red hair that I loved to run my hands through, it's thick, silky strands running through my fingers. She looked stunning in her green mid-calve skirt that hugged her hips just so and creamy silk blouse. She had removed the matching green jacket at some point in the day. She was bent over looking into a microscope, her very shapely legs ran smoothly out from underneath the fabric of the skirt, and slid easily into cream colored heels, the strong calf muscles defined and delicious.