Part 36 (1/2)

Tar-tar.

What is that which lives in winter, dies in summer, and grows with its root upwards? An icicle.

Water soft is my first, water hard is my second, Sticks made of my whole are by many sweet reckon'd.

Liquor-ice (licorice).

From a number that's odd cut off the head, It then will even be.

Its tail, I pray, next take away, Your mother then you'll see.

Seven--even--Eve.

My first is of ill.u.s.trious line, Of beauteous form and face divine; Which when my second does a.s.sail, Both form and beauty then do fail; My whole an arduous task to do With wives who hoity-toity ways pursue.

Man-age.

A stranger comes from foreign sh.o.r.es, Perchance to seek relief; Curtail him, and you find his tale Unworthy of belief; Curtailed again, you recognize An old Egyptian chief.

Alien--a lie--Ali.

An ugly little fellow, that some might call a pet, Was easily trans.m.u.ted to a parson when he ate; And when he set off running, an Irishman was he; Then took to wildly raving, and hung upon a tree.

Cur, cur-ate, Cur-ran, cur-rant.

Ere Adam was, my early days began; I ape each creature, and resemble man; I gently creep o'er tops of tender gra.s.s, Nor leave the least impression where I pa.s.s; Touch me you may, but I can ne'er be felt, Nor ever yet was tasted, heard, or smelt, Yet seen each day; if not, be sure at night You'll quickly find me out by candlelight.

Shadow.

'Twas whispered in Heaven, 'twas muttered in h.e.l.l, And echo caught faintly the sound as it fell; On the confines of earth 'twas permitted to rest, And the depths of the ocean its presence confessed.

'Twill be found in the sphere when 'tis riven asunder, Be seen in the lightning, and heard in the thunder.

'Twas allotted to man with his earliest breath, Attends at his birth, and awaits him in death; It presides o'er his happiness, honor, and health, Is the prop of his house, and the end of his wealth.

In the whispers of conscience its voice will be found, Nor e'en in the whirlwind of pa.s.sion be drowned.

In the heaps of the miser 'tis h.o.a.rded with care, But is sure to be lost by his prodigal heir.

'Twill not soften the heart, and though deaf to the ear, 'Twill make it acutely and instantly hear.

Without it the soldier and sailor may roam, But woe to the wretch who expels it from home!

So in shade let it rest, like a delicate flower: Oh, breathe on it softly, it dies in an hour!

The letter ”H.”

STORIES

How do you punctuate the sentence, ”I saw a five-dollar bill on the street?” Make a dash after it.

There was a carpenter who made a cupboard door; it proved too big. He cut it, and unfortunately, he cut it too little; he thereupon cut it again, and made it fit beautifully. How was this? He did not cut it enough the first time.

There are twelve birds in a covey. A hunter kills a brace, then how many remain? None, for, unless they are idiots, they fly away.

A one-eyed beggar bet a friend that he could see more with one eye than his friend could with two. How was this? Because he saw his friend's two eyes, whilst the other only saw his one.