Part 14 (1/2)
Why is a joint company not like a watch? Because it does not go after it is wound up.
When may a man be said to be personally involved? When he is wrapped up in himself.
What wind should a hungry sailor wish for? One that blows fowl and chops about.
Why are bookkeepers like chickens? Because they have to scratch for a living.
Why do British soldiers never run away? Because they belong to the standing army.
What part of a car resembles a person? The wheel, because it is tired.
On which side of a pitcher is the handle? The outside.
When may a chair be said to dislike you? When it can't bear you.
What is that which divides by uniting and unites by dividing? The scissors.
Why are young children like castles in the air? Because their existence is only in-fancy.
Why is a proud girl like a music book? She is full of airs.
Why is a short negro like a white man? Because he is not at all black (not a tall black).
Why are bells the most obedient of inanimate things? Because they make a noise whenever they are told (tolled).
Why is the most discontented man the most easily satisfied? Nothing satisfies him.
Why are ripe potatoes in the ground like thieves? They ought to be taken up.
Why is it unjust to blame cabmen for cheating us? We call them to take us in.
Why are weary people like carriage wheels? Because they are tired.
Why does a tall man eat less than a short man? Because he makes a little go a long way.
What is the dryest subject? The mummy.
When are candles and women most alike? When sputtering.
Why are confectioners so much sought for? Because they serve kisses.
How many sides has a pitcher? Two, inside and outside.
What is wind like in a storm? Like to blow your hat off.
What is the difference between an honest and dishonest laundress? One irons your linen, the other steals it.
When is a policeman very like a rainbeau? When he appears after the storm is over.
Where are we most likely to find the sky blue? The nearer we go to the Milky Way.