Part 11 (1/2)
CHAPTER VIII
CONUNDRUMS ON THE ALPHABET
What word is it of only three syllables which combines in it twenty-six letters? Alphabet.
Which word in the English language contains the greatest number of letters? Disproportionableness.
What is the best bet ever made? The alphabet.
When were there only two vowels? In the days of No-a, before U and I were born.
When will there be but twenty-five letters in the alphabet? When U and I are one.
Why is U the gayest letter in the alphabet? Because it is always in fun.
Why is T the happiest letter in the alphabet? Because it is next to you.
Which are the two hottest letters in the alphabet? K N (cayenne).
Why is O the most charitable letter in the alphabet? Because it is found oftener than any other letter d-o-ing g-oo-d.
Why is the letter T like matrimony? It is the end of quiet and the beginning of trouble.
Why is a farmer surprised at the letter G? It converts oats into goats.
When was B the first letter of the alphabet? In the days of No-a.
What step must I take to remove A from the alphabet? B-head it.
Why is A like a honeysuckle? Because a ”B” follows it.
Why is the letter W like a scandal? Because it makes ill will.
Why are two t's like hops? Because they make beer better.
Spell enemy in three letters. No, not N M E; it's F O E.
Spell auburn locks in two letters. S and Y.
Spell brandy in three letters. B R and Y, and O D V.
What must you add to nine to make it six? S, for IX with S is six.
If you asked the alphabet to come to dinner, which letters could not accept your kind invitation till later in the evening? The last six, as they couldn't come till after T.
How can you tell a girl of the name of Ellen that she is everything that is delightful in eight letters? U-r-a-bu-t-l-n.
What is that which occurs twice in a moment and not once in a thousand years? The letter M.
Why is A like twelve o'clock? Because it's the middle of day.