Part 6 (2/2)
Why is the palace of the Louvre the cheapest ever erected? Because it was built for one sovereign--and finished for another.
Why is it only natural that the memory of Guy Fawkes should be execrated? Because he was the inventor of parliamentary trains, and they are wretchedly slow.
Show that a simple typographical error was the cause of the defeats of the poor Austrians (1866). They sent for reserves, and got reverses.
Why is a worn-out shoe like ancient Greece? Because it once had a Solon (sole on).
Why should Columbus be cla.s.sed among astronomers rather than among explorers? Because he discovered a whole New World.
What's the difference between a middle-aged cooper and a trooper of the Middle Ages? The one is used to put a head on his cask, the other used to put a cask (casque) on his head.
What fruit is like a Guy Fawkes? A fig, for is it not an F I G (effigy)?
How is it England and Russia conjointly govern the ocean? Because England rules the waves, and Russia the serfs.
What was the difference between Shakespeare and Queen Elizabeth? One was a WONder, the other a TUdor.
What Tory do the Whigs want on their side? Vic-tory.
It went before Queen Mary, it followed King William to the end? The letter ”m.”
Who caught the fossil fishes? The geological fissures (fishers).
Why was the Shah of Persia, during his visit to England, the best card-player in the world? Because the swells gave up their clubs; workmen threw up their spades, and the ladies were within an ace of losing their hearts, when he came to show his diamonds.
Why was Martin Luther like a dyspeptic robin? The Diet of Wurms did not agree with him.
When was beef-tea introduced into England? When Henry VIII dissolved the Pope's bull.
Why could not Napoleon III insure his life? Because no man living was able to make out his policy.
What is the difference between two celebrated Saxon leaders of the fifth century and two others famous in these days? The former were Engist and Horsa, the latter are engines and horses.
What celebrated battle was fought in a dirty slum? The battle of A-gin-court.
What did Queen Elizabeth take her pills in? In cider (inside her).
What was Joan of Arc made of? Maid of Orleans.
What did they find under the Maine? A horse's neck.
What ought to be Sir Edwin Landseer's motto? Give a dog a good name and--hang him.
Some one mentioning that ”columba” was the Latin for a ”dove,” it gave rise to the following: What is the difference between the Old World and the New? The former was discovered by _Columba_, who started from Noah; the latter by Columbus, who started from Ge-noa.
What is the difference between Kossuth and a half-starved countryman?
One is a native of Hungary, the other is a hungry native.
Who may be said to have had the largest family in America? George Was.h.i.+ngton, for he was the father of his country.
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