Part Ix Part 157 (1/2)

In short:

So simple, yet so complex.

So weak, yet so powerful.

So confusing, yet so desirable.

So d.a.m.ning, yet so wonderfu....

Women's Lib.

At the 1997 World Women's Conference the first speaker from England stood up: ”At last years' conference we spoke about being more a.s.sertive with our husbands. Well after the conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer cook for him and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had cooked a wonderful roast lamb.”

The crowd cheered.

The second speaker from America stood up: ”After last years' conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do his laundry and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had done not only his own was.h.i.+ng but my was.h.i.+ng as well.”

The crowd cheered.

The third speaker from Ireland stood up: ”After last years' conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do his shopping and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye.”

YO MAMMA...

==> SO OLD.

I told her to act her own age, and she died.

her social security number is 1!

that when she was in school there was no history cla.s.s.

her birth certificate says expired on it.

she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.

==> SO POOR.

she can't afford to pay attention!

when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers when I ring the doorbell she says, ”DING!”

she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.

your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.

her face is on the front of a foodstamp.

she wave around a popsicle stick and calls it air-conditioning.

burglars break in her house and leave money ==> SO DARK.

she went to night school and was marked absent!

that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal.

she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep her from eating her fingers.

they made a movie of her heart transplant called ”From the darkest heart of Africa”

==> SO SHORT.

you can see her feet on her drivers lisence!