Part V Part 8 (1/2)

Designated Driver.

One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving under the influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then, sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Everyone left the bar and drove off. Finally, he started his engine and began to pull away.

The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered the Breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The driver replied, ”Tonight, I'm the Designated Decoy.”

Learn Chinese.

That's not right. - Sum Ting Wong.

Are you harboring a fugitive? - Hu Yu Hai Ding?

See me as soon as possible. - k.u.m Hia Nao.

Stupid Man. - Dum Gai.

Small Horse. - Tai Ni Po Ni.

Did you go to the beach? - Wai Yu So Tan?

I b.u.mped into a coffee table. - Ai Bang Mai Ni.

I think you need a face lift. - Chin Tu Fat.

It's very dark in here. - Wai So Dim?

I thought you were on a diet. - Mun Ching?

This is a tow away zone. - No Pah King.

You are not very bright. - Yu So Dum.

I got this for free. - Ai No Pei.

Please stay a while longer. - Wai Go Nao?

Stay out of sight. - Lei Lo.

He's cleaning his automobile. - Wa s.h.i.+ng Ka.

Your body odor is offensive. - Yu Stin Ki Pu.

Baby Planes.

A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, ”If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?”

The mother said, ”Well, maybe that's something you could ask the stewardess.”

So the boy asked the stewardess, ”If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?”

The stewardess responded, ”Did your mother tell you to ask me?”

The boy admitted that this was the case. ”Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you.”

Laloo The Matchmaker.

Laloo talks to his son Laloo : I want you to marry a girl of my choice Son : ”I want to choose my own bride.”

Laloo : ”But the girl is Ambani's daughter.”

Son : ”Well, in that case...”

Next Laloo approaches Ambani Laloo : ”I have a husband for your daughter.”

Ambani: ”But my daughter is too young to marry.”

Laloo : ”But this young man is a vice president of the World Bank.”

Ambani: ”Ah, in that case...”

Finally Laloo goes to see the president of the World Bank.

Laloo : ”I have a young man to be recommended as a vice president.”

President : ”But I already have more vice presidents than I need.”

Laloo : ”But this young man is Ambani's son-in-law.”

President : ”Ah, in that case...”