Part Ii Part 1 (1/2)
PART II.
No Bull.
Some cattle are standing in a field when a huge gust of wind blows. All the cows fall over, but the bulls remain standing, bracing themselves against the wind.
After a moment the cows stand up and go back to their chewing.
Pretty soon, an even stronger wind blows. Again all of the cows are knocked to the ground, but the bulls just carry on munching the gra.s.s.
Next a mini tornado comes through and all the cows are knocked clean into the next field. The bulls' just say, ”Moo” and carry on munching!
Finally, one of the cows walks up to a bull and says, ”How come the wind always knocks us over and you remain standing?”
”Isn't it obvious?” the bull replies. ”We bulls wobble, but we don't fall down.”
Hong Kong Dong.
A guy goes on a business trip to Hong Kong and decides to spend the last night having wild s.e.x with a Geisha Girl. After returning home he notices a very weird green sore festering on his p.e.n.i.s. So he goes to his doctor.
After hearing of his trip to Hong Kong the Doc says, ”You have a bad case of Hong Kong Dong. I'm sorry to have to tell you that the only cure amputation!”
The guy is horrified and so decides to get a second opinion.
The second doc says, ”I am sorry but Dr. Jones is correct. We must amputate right away.”
Our hero still can't accept this and so gets a third opinion from an oriental doctor. Dr.
Wong agreed with the diagnosis of Hong Kong Dong, but says ”These Western Doctors - so quick to Chop Chop Chop. Amputation not necessary.”
Our hero is so relieved. Dr. Wong continues, ”You wait three weeks and it fall off on its own.”
Desert Island.
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island. For years they live there, until one day they find a magic lamp. They rub the lamp and sure enough out comes a genie. The genie says, ”Since I can only give out 3 wishes, you may each have one.”
The brunette goes first, ”I have been stuck here for years, I miss my family and my husband and my life - I just want to go home” ... POOF she is gone.
The redhead makes her wish ”This place sucks, I want to go home too” ... POOF she is gone.
The blonde starts crying uncontrollably. The genie says to her ”My dear what is the matter, ”I wish my friends were here” ... POOF!!!
Cooling Swimming.
The weather was very hot, so a guy desperately wants to take a dive in the nearby lake.
He didn't bring his swimming costume, but who cares? He was alone.
So, he undresses and gets into the water. After some delightful minutes of cool swimming, a pair of old ladies walks onto the sh.o.r.e in his direction.
He panics, get out of the water and grabs an old bucket. As he holds the bucket in front of his privates he sighed with relief.
As the ladies get nearby they look at him and smile. Then one of them says, ”You know, I have a special gift, I can read minds.”
”Impossible,” says the embarra.s.sed man, ”You really know what I'm thinking?”
”Yes,” the lady replies, ”I know that you think that the bucket you're holding has a bottom in it.”
The secretary.
The secretary came in late for work for the third day in a row.
So the boss called her into his office and said, ”Now look Sharon, I know we had a wild fling for a while, but that's over. I expect you to conduct yourself like any other employee. Who told you, you could come and go as you please?”
Sharon simply smiled, lit up a cigarette, and while exhaling said, ”My lawyer.”
s.e.x On Television.