Part 5 (1/2)
”You know what I mean. He's stuck in a house that's depreciating faster and faster every day that goes by.”
”But that's where he wants to live, Dennis, so isn't that the most important thing?”
”When you're living on Clover Street, the most important thing's not getting killed,” Dennis called after her as she went inside to get the children. He turned off the grill and didn't say anything.
”We gather here together to thank you, Lord,” Lisa said softly, bowing her head as they all joined hands around the table.
”For these thy gifts,” Annie said.
”Which we are about to receive,” Jimmy said.
”From thy bounty through Jesus Christ, our Lord,” Dennis said with a sigh.
Lisa's eyes remained closed, but the children and Dennis looked at Gordon, waiting.
Annie squeezed his fingers. ”It's your turn.”
”Uh, thank you . . . thank you, Lord, for-”
”No!” Jimmy said.
”Just say 'Amen,' that's all,” Dennis said.
”Oh. I'm sorry. I guess I forgot how it ends,” Gordon told the children.
”Well, say it, then,” Annie said, delighted that someone so big could mess up something so simple.
”Amen,” he said softly. Mindful of the little grunts Dennis had criticized him for at lunch last week, Gordon tried to eat slowly. He was used to wolfing down his food. So accustomed was he to eating in a daze and not speaking to anyone that he wasn't sure where to look, at his plate or his dining companions. In an effort to do both, he kept dropping food onto the table, into his lap.
Jimmy was watching him. ”Did anybody else ever try and break out of your jail?”
There was a clink clink clink clink as both parents put down their forks. as both parents put down their forks.
”No.” Gordon shook his head. The children knew their uncle had gone to prison because someone had died. If they asked, he should just answer their question, Dennis had advised on the ride home. Tell them as much as they need to know. No details about the incident, of course. As if he ever would, Gordon had thought, amazed.
”You must've wanted to, though, huh?” Jimmy asked hopefully.
”Your uncle always did what he was supposed to do,” Lisa said. ”We may not always like our situation in life, but we do our best. Uncle Gordon was very brave.”
The boy's eyes lit up. ”How were you brave?”
Gordon had no idea. He hadn't been brave. He had only been been. ”I guess I just obeyed the rules, that's all. I did what I was told.”
Dennis's hands were clenched. ”So, Jimmy, tell us how swimming went today,” he said, but the boy had already launched into his next question.
”Did any prisoners ever try and stab you or anything?”
”No.” Gordon smiled as if that were a very far-fetched possibility. He caught himself. He had been about to say he had seen a few men stabbed and knew of many others who had been.
”My friend Jack said you killed a lady.” Jimmy watched him closely.
Gordon nodded.
”That's enough now, Jimmy,” Dennis said, and Lisa began to talk about Jimmy's swim meet next week. It was for the country club junior champions.h.i.+p. Jimmy reminded her that she'd said he didn't have to be in it if he didn't want to. Lisa patted his hand and said they'd talk some more and then decide. Decide what? Dennis asked, staring at Lisa. Jimmy was on the team and he would be swimming in the meet, and it was as simple as that.
Gordon felt as if his mother had just spoken. He pushed vegetables onto his fork with his finger, then licked bits of squash from his thumb.
”Here.” Dennis held out the basket of rolls.
”No, thank you,” he said. He'd already had four, and there were only two left. He pushed more squash onto his fork and licked his finger.
”Please.” Dennis set the basket in front of him. ”Use a roll, will you?”
”I'm sorry,” Gordon said.
”Dennis,” Lisa chided in a low voice.
”Like this.” Annie demonstrated, breaking a roll. ”You just push it-”
”Thank you, Annie. I'm sure Uncle Gordon knows how to do it.” Lisa looked at Dennis.
”So what happened to Delores?” Dennis asked. ”You said you were going to bring her.”
”No.” Gordon wiped his mouth with the corner of his napkin. ”I said I'd call her.”
”And did you?”
”No, because she came over. She just came,” he added, though his brother clearly didn't regard this as the intrusion it had been.
”Well, you dropped the ball, then, Gordon. I mean, after all she's done for you through the years. So now you're home and you don't even call her?”
”I . . .” He felt oddly winded. ”I just didn't get to it.” He took a deep breath. Then another.
”Dennis.” Lisa sighed.
”She'd be someone to do things with, that's all! Get out of that depressing house and meet people!” Dennis said, not to Gordon but to Lisa, who glared at him.
”I get out. I meet people. Every day I meet interesting people.”
”Where?” Dennis smirked. ”At the Nash Street Market? Come on, will ya, Gordon! What kind of a life is that?”
”I-”
”I can't believe you're doing this!” Lisa's voice trembled with anger.
”Don't you see?” Dennis asked, looking at him now. ”It's the same old thing, isn't it. Just like coming back here. Instead of taking a chance somewhere else, you'll just keep on settling for less, won't you?”
”No!” Gordon spoke quietly but firmly. ”I'm just trying to ease into things, that's all. I don't want much. I don't need anything. I'm fine.”