Part 6 (2/2)

_Adolphus_. Lord Gules is asleep, and her ladys.h.i.+p is absorbed in her novel; besides, you may be sure that I have taken care to ascertain their sentiments before I venture to say what I have to you. Oh, Elaine, if I could but hope!

_Train stops_. _Guard_ [_looking in_]. All the smoking-carriages are engaged, gentlemen; but you'll find room in here.

[_Enter_ Adolphus Plumper _and_ Mr Flamm. Flamm _seats himself opposite_ Elaine, _and_ Plumper _opposite_ Adolphus.

_Flamm_ [_aside to_ Plumper]. By Jove, Plumper! you never told me you had a twin brother. Polish up your spectacles, old man--you've made 'em damp by that race we had to catch the train--and look at your _vis-a-vis_.

[Plumper _takes off his spectacles with great deliberation, wipes them, puts them on again, and stares at_ Adolphus.

_Plumper_ [_aside_] _stammering_. Dud-dud-dud-do you see a likeness? Dud- dud-dud-don't see it myself. He's bab-bab-bab-bald, and he's not sh-sh- sh-ort-sighted.

_Fl_. Probably he doesn't stammer either. I'll try presently.

Positively, if he wore spectacles and a wig of your hair, I shouldn't know you apart.

_Lady Gules_ [_aside to_ Elaine]. Did you ever see anything more extraordinary, my dear? What a horrid caricature of our dear Adolphus Gresham!

_El_. [_aside_]. I can't say I agree with you, mamma. I think he has a more intelligent expression--more soul, I should say.

_Lady G_. You are quite ridiculous, Elaine. Half the girls in London have bean setting their caps at Mr Gresham for the last few seasons, till they have given him up as invulnerable; and now that you have a chance of becoming one of the richest peeresses in England, you do nothing but snub him. He is as clever and charming as he will be rich when his father dies, and is certain to become a Cabinet Minister some day. He's considered the most rising young man of his party.

_El_. That he may easily be, considering he is a Conservative. Oh, mamma! how can you suppose that I would ever marry a Conservative?

_Lady G_. I have no patience with you, Elaine; a nice mess your Radicals have made of it with Egypt and Ireland. But we won't go into that now; only remember this, if he proposes, and you don't accept him, your father and I will be seriously displeased.

_El_. [_sighing_]. I'm sure the gentleman opposite is a friend of the people. See! he's reading the 'Pall Mall.' [_Aside to_ Adolphus.] Mamma has just been telling me that she sees such a strange likeness between you and your opposite neighbour.

_Ad_. Ah! Plumper--if the name on his hat-box is to be believed; A.

Plumper, too. I wonder whether A. stands for Adolphus? I don't feel flattered.

_El_. Now that is nothing but Tory prejudice. I am sure he looks very distinguished, though his name is Plumper. I have no doubt he's a self- made man.

_Pl_. Pup-pup-pup-pardon me, madam; shall I put the window up? I see you feel the dud-dud-dud-draught.

_El_. Thank you. No; I prefer it open. But may I ask you to lend me your 'Echo'? it's a paper I like so much, and so seldom see.

_Fl_. Cheap, but not nasty; enjoys a vast circulation among the middle cla.s.ses. The Conservatives are as far behind us in journalistic capacity as they are in parliamentary eloquence.

_Pl_. You must make allowances for my friend. He's on the pup-pup-pup- press himself, and expects shortly to get into Pup-pup-pup-Parliament.

_El_. Oh, I do so hope he will! You don't think there is a reaction setting in, do you? Papa says that Mr Gladstone is losing his hold on the country.

_Lord Gules_ [_awaking with a snort_]. Not, however, before the country has lost its hold upon him. He cares no more for his country, sir, than I do for the Chinese in California. He's a traitor, sir, to his principles; he's--

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