Part 8 (1/2)
”Well--well--I merit the t.i.tle, and shall not complain of my honors.
Thou saidst that I had travelled _far_ and _much_, and thou spokest approvingly of the project of this Genoese. Am I to understand, Mercedes, it is thy wish that I should make one of the adventurers?”
”Such was my meaning, Luis, for I have thought it an emprise fitting thy daring mind and willing sword; and the glory of success would atone for a thousand trifling errors, committed under the heat and inconsideration of youth.”
Don Luis regarded the flushed cheek and brightened eyes of the beautiful enthusiast nearly a minute, in silent but intense observation; for the tooth of doubt and jealousy had fastened on him, and, with the self-distrust of true affection, he questioned how far he was worthy to interest so fair a being, and had misgivings concerning the motive that induced her to wish him to depart.
”I wish I could read thy heart, Dona Mercedes,” he at length resumed; ”for, while the witching modesty and coy reserve of thy s.e.x, serve but to bind us so much the closer in thy chains, they puzzle the understanding of men more accustomed to rude encounters in the field than to the mazes of their ingenuity. Dost thou desire me to embark in an adventure that most men, the wise and prudent Don Fernando at their head--he whom thou so much esteemest, too--look upon as the project of a visionary, and as leading to certain destruction? Did I think this, I would depart to-morrow, if it were only that my hated presence should never more disturb thy happiness.”
”Don Luis, you have no justification for this cruel suspicion,” said Mercedes, endeavoring to punish her lover's distrust by an affectation of resentment, though the tears struggled through her pride, and fell from her reproachful eyes. ”You know that no one, here or elsewhere, hateth you; you know that you are a general favorite, though Castilian prudence and Castilian reserve may not always view your wandering life with the same applause as they give to the more attentive courtier and rigidly observant knight.”
”Pardon me, dearest, most beloved Mercedes; thy coldness and aversion sometime madden me.”
”Coldness! aversion! Luis de Bobadilla! When hath Mercedes de Valverde ever shown either, to _thee_?”
”I fear that Dona Mercedes de Valverde is, even now, putting me to some such proof.”
”Then thou little knowest her motives, and ill appreciatest her heart.
No, Luis, I am not averse, and would not appear cold, to _thee_. If thy wayward feelings get so much the mastery, and pain thee thus, I will strive to be more plain. Yes! rather than thou shouldst carry away with thee the false notion, and perhaps plunge, again, into some unthinking sea-adventure, I will subdue my maiden pride, and forget the reserve and caution that best become my s.e.x and rank, to relieve thy mind. In advising thee to attach thyself to this Colon, and to enter freely into his n.o.ble schemes, I had thine own happiness in view, as thou hast, time and again, sworn to me, thy happiness _could_ only be secured”--
”Mercedes! what meanest thou? My happiness can only be secured by a union with thee!”
”And thy union with me can only be secured by thy enn.o.bling that besetting propensity to roving, by some act of worthy renown, that shall justify Dona Beatriz in bestowing her ward on a truant nephew, and gain the favor of Dona Isabella.”
”And thou!--would this adventure win thee, too, to view me with kindness?”
”Luis, if thou _wilt_ know all, I am won already--nay--restrain this impetuosity, and hear all I have to say. Even while I confess so much more than is seemly in a maiden, thou art not to suppose I can further forget myself. Without the cheerful consent of my guardian, and the gracious approbation of Her Highness, I will wed no man--no, not even _thee_, Luis de Bobadilla, dear as I acknowledge thee to be to my heart”--the ungovernable emotions of female tenderness caused the words to be nearly smothered in tears--”would I wed, without the smiles and congratulations of all who have a right to smile, or weep, for any of the house of Valverde. Thou and I cannot marry like a village hind and village girl; it is suitable that we stand before a prelate, with a large circle of approving friends to grace our union. Ah! Luis, thou hast reproached me with coldness and indifference to thee”--sobs nearly stifled the generous girl--”but others have not been so blind--nay, speak not, but suffer me, now that my heart is overflowing, to unburden myself to thee, entirely, for I fear that shame and regret will come soon enough to cause repentance for what I now confess--but all have not been blind as thou. Our gracious queen well understandeth the female heart, and that thou hast been so slow to discover, she hath long seen; and her quickness of eye and thought hath alone prevented me from saying to thee, earlier, a part at least of that which I now reluctantly confess”--
”How! Is Dona Isabella, too, my enemy? Have I Her Highness' scruples to overcome, as well as those of my cold-hearted and prudish aunt?”
”Luis, thy intemperance causeth thee to be unjust. Dona Beatriz of Moya is neither cold-hearted nor prudish, but all that is the reverse. A more generous or truer spirit never sacrificed self to friends.h.i.+p, and her very nature is frankness and simplicity. Much of that I so love in thee, cometh of her family, and _thou_ shouldst not reproach her for it. As for Her Highness, certes, it is not needed that I should proclaim her qualities. Thou knowest that she is deemed the mother of her people; that she regardeth the interests of all equally, or so far as her knowledge will allow; and that what she doth for any, is ever done with true affection, and a prudence that I have heard the cardinal say, seemeth to be inspired by infinite wisdom.”
”Ay, it is not difficult, Mercedes, to seem prudent, and benevolent, and inspired, with Castile for a throne, and Leon, with other rich provinces, for a footstool!”
”Don Luis, if you would retain my esteem,” answered the single-minded girl, with a gravity that had none of her s.e.x's weakness in it, though much of her s.e.x's truth--”speak not lightly of my royal mistress.
Whatever she may have done in this matter, hath been done with a mother's feelings and a mother's kindness--thy injustice maketh me almost to apprehend, with a mother's wisdom.”
”Forgive me, adored, beloved Mercedes! a thousand times more adored and loved than ever, now that thou hast been so generous and confiding. But I cannot rest in peace until I know what the queen hath said and done, in any thing that toucheth thee and me.”
”Thou knowest how kind and gracious the queen hath ever been to me, Luis, and how much I have reason to be grateful for her many condescensions and favors. I know not how it is, but, while thy aunt hath never seemed to detect my feelings, and all those related to me by blood have appeared to be in the same darkness, the royal eye hath penetrated a mystery that, at the moment, I do think, was even concealed from myself. Thou rememberest the tourney that took place just before thou left us on thy last mad expedition?”
”Do I not? Was it not thy coldness after my success in that tourney, and when I even wore thy favors, that not only drove me out of Spain, but almost drove me out of the world?”
”If the world could impute thy acts to such a cause, all obstacles would at once be removed, and we might be happy without further efforts. But,”
and Mercedes smiled, archly, though with great tenderness in her voice and looks, as she added, ”I fear thou art much addicted to these fits of madness, and that thou wilt never cease to wish to be driven to the uttermost limits of the world, if not fairly out of it.”
”It is in thy power to make me as stationary as the towers of this Alhambra. One such smile, daily, would chain me like a captive Moor at thy feet, and take away all desire to look at other objects than thy beauty. But Her Highness--thou hast forgotten to add what Her Highness hath said and done.”
”In that tourney thou wert conqueror, Luis! The whole chivalry of Castile was in the saddle, that glorious day, and yet none could cope with thee! Even Alonzo de Ojeda was unhorsed by thy lance, and all mouths were filled with thy praises; all memories--perhaps, it would be better to say that all memories but one--forgot thy failings.”