Part 3 (1/2)
”Does it have to do with the fact that this whole place stinks like sulfur?”
He nods. ”It does.”
”Does the sulfur have something to do with the Grim?”
He leans over my shoulder, capturing my gaze. ”Why would you say that?”
I chew on a spoonful of beans. ”I don't know. The channels kind of had the same smell, only more rotten. I thought maybe Grim are near these caves, and that's why it stinks.”
”They're not in the caves. But you're right about the channels having a similar smell. And there's a reason for that. Do you know why the channels smell like sulfur?”
”I had a hunch it had something to do with all the dead bodies decomposing down there.” I set down the empty can of beans and rotate sideways on his lap. ”The wardens used to tell me that, if I ever tried to run away, I'd get lost in the channels, and my body would never be found. I sometimes wondered if that happened to a lot of people, and that's why the air always carried the scent of death.”
”It might be because of that, but that's not what the curse is about.” He stares at the entrance of the cave where light filters in, tracing his finger up and down my side. ”The Forsaken believe that the scent of sulfur means a Grim's spirit is close by.”
”Their spirits? Like ghosts?”
”No, the Grim can't die. Their spirits aren't the same as human spirits.”
I relax a smidgen, but I keep my guard on high alert. ”Then what are the spirits?”
”It's kind of hard to explain.” He chews on his bottom lip. ”The thing is, we don't know a lot about the Grim. When they invaded our world, they destroyed a lot of our learning resources. Plus, we spend so much time running and hiding from them that it doesn't leave much of a chance to do research. But we do have a team at the station that spends most of their extra time trying to learn more about the Grim. The problem is, with all the rescue missions and attacks going on, no one has a ton of extra time.”
”So, you don't know what their spirits are?”
”No, not for sure. But we have some ideas, one being that their spirits are just a discarded memory the Grim leave behind.”
I think about my own resurfacing memories. All those years I spent in the channel and I couldn't remember much about the outside world. But the second I escaped, I began recollecting bits and pieces of a forgotten life.
”So they just discard their memories and what?” I coil a strand of my hair around my finger. ”Does the memory float around? Can we pick it up and see it?” The thought makes my stomach churn. The last thing I ever want is to see what goes on inside a Grim's mind.
But you might be Grim, so maybe you already have.
He shakes his head, but then he hesitates. ”Well, if they do float around, humans can't see them. At least, I've never heard of anyone seeing one. Some people believe there's a way to collect them and see the memories, but if you do, you lose your mind and go crazy.”
I cast an apprehensive glance around the cave. If memories are here, could I possibly see them since I'm a hybrid?
”What are some of the other theories?”
”That a spirit is actually a part of a Grim.”
”Like they replicate themselves? Because that sounds horrible.”
”It does sound horrible, and honestly, I'm not a big believer in that theory.” He brushes a few strands of his blond hair out of his eyes. ”But the spirit isn't an actual physical replica of the Grim. It's more like faded pieces of them, like shed skin left behind after they've used moonstone to recharge.”
I make an appalled face. ”You're making them sound like snakes ... and ghosts ... like ghost snakes.”
He rubs his lips together, struggling not to smile. ”And you're making this story way more amusing than it should be.”
”Sorry. I'm just trying to understand. It's so confusing ... and alarming ... and strange.”
”I wish I could explain it better, but we're still trying to understand it, too.” He reaches up and cups my cheek. ”But to answer your question about the curse, the Forsaken believe in the latter. They think that, not only do the Grim shed their skin, but that shed skin can make physical contact with a human and sometimes can even slip inside us and possess our bodies.”
”So the Forsaken believe that these caves are full of Grim spirits?” I put two and two together. ”That's why they don't come in here-because they think they'll end up possessed?”
Ryder nods, sketching his thumb back and forth across my cheekbone. For whatever reason, he seems pretty adamant about touching me. It doesn't bother me, but it does leave my mind spinning in confusion.
”The Forsaken won't step foot in the caves,” he says, ”which makes the caves a safe haven from the Forsaken.”
”But Blaise was scared of the caves,” I point out. ”Does he believe in the legends?”
Reluctance crosses his face. ”Kind of.”
I shudder, wanting to spring from Ryder's lap and bolt from the cave. I manage to stay put like I promised, though. Still, I do lean closer to Ryder.
”Did something happen to his brother in the caves?” I ask, tracing circles in the dirt with my finger.
”Right before Blaise was brought to the station, his brother died in the caves. I don't know what happened ... Blaise refuses to talk about it. All I know is that the Grim were responsible for his entire family's death, and that's why he chooses to be out there, risking his life.”
No wonder Blaise didn't want to come into the caves. I'm not sure if I ever had a brother or sister, but I can imagine it would be heartbreaking to lose someone you care for so greatly.
A pain so great you never want to think about it ... like a piece of yourself has died, too ... a piece that will never fully live again ...
”You doing okay?” Ryder ducks his head to level his gaze with mine. ”This is a lot to take in.”
”Yeah, I'm fine.” I direct my attention back to Ryder. ”I was just thinking about how hard it must be for Blaise to be near the caves.”
”I'm sure it is, but Blaise will never show it. We look out for him whenever he lets us.” His palm glides down my cheek, and his hand cups the back of my neck. ”That's part of the reason Reece suggested he be the decoy today-to keep him from having to come here.”
”Maybe we shouldn't have come near the caves to begin with.”
”They're all over the fault line, so they're pretty unavoidable.”
”Oh.” My frown deepens. ”Well, I'm glad he didn't come here with us. Although, I'm worried about him being out there alone.”
”He'll be fine. He has an excellent shot and some of the best fighting skills out of all of us.”
He ma.s.sages the base of my neck, and dear G.o.d, it feels so good, surreal and unlike anything I've felt before.
”You should get some rest so you'll be good to go when night falls. One of us will stay awake so you don't have to worry about anything. We'll make sure you're protected forever.”
Forever? Such a huge promise, one I hope he'll carry out.
”How about you set up a blanket, and I'll get a lantern from Reece and some fruits and vegetables so I can”-he rolls his eyes-”feed you properly? He's such a health nut.”