Part 10 (2/2)
”MY EVER DEAR FRIEND--I have just read your letter, painful to you to write, but to me as the mother's anguish which precedes her joy. The day will soon break, and the shadows flee away; and the dear Saviour whom you seek, will again comfort his returning prodigal.
”I will do what you desire me, and though I have the highest opinion of our young Timothy, J.M., I will pa.s.s by him in this case, and lay it before one of the aged Christians, Dr. R----rs or Dr.
L----n; at the same time, my friend, I am as sure of their answer as if I were already in possession of it. Who told my friend that she was blind, and miserable, and wretched, and naked? Flesh and blood never yet taught proud man or woman this lesson.
”My dear friend, there is nothing new nor strange in all you have told me: there is scarce a heaven-taught soul, who has made any advances in the spiritual warfare, but could sympathize with you from experience. What have you experienced more than the Scriptures tell us: that 'the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked?' Only the Lord can search it, only he can cleanse it. He takes the prerogative to himself, and he calls it his covenant that he will make with sinners in gospel times. You may strive and fight, and resolve and vow--all will not do: you lie at his mercy for holiness as well as pardon. He is exalted as a Prince to give repentance, and he is the author and finisher of faith. He works all our works in us, and without him we are not equal to one good thought. We are his workmans.h.i.+p, 'created anew in Christ Jesus,' My dear friend, put the work into his hand, and try to wait on him in hope--hope in every situation; do more, trust.
”You entirely mistake the situation of others; none of us have our heaven here: no, sin dwelleth in us; the very best have their ups and downs. Do you think your friend is always on the mount? very far from it. I am at times so cold, so dead, so stupid, that I can neither pray, read, nor hear. I have begun the same chapter over and over, still trying to fix my thoughts, and as often they wander on every trifle; but my peace lies where you will soon learn to place yours, in the merits of my almighty Saviour. My safety depends not on my frames, but his promise and when tossed and tempted, dead and lifeless, emptied of every good, perhaps buffeted like you with abominable thoughts, the fiery darts of Satan, casting all on Him, I am safe as when basking in the suns.h.i.+ne of his love, and tasting what you have tasted: for you have tasted, and you shall yet taste the joys of his salvation. I too have proved false to his covenant, have gone off with the world, and been intoxicated with its vanities and empty delights, and have laid up for myself seasons of deep remorse; my sins have often separated between my G.o.d and me, especially in my younger days; the Lord calls to watchfulness and diligence in the use of means, and he generally honors these means, of his own appointing, with his blessing. When we either trust to these means, and fancy merit in them, or neglect to use them as his appointment, he generally makes us feel our error, but he does not cast us out of his family; he chastens us, and restores us.
”I write hastily, just to say that you have my sympathy and my love; for well I know, the almighty Lord alone can loose your bonds, and give you 'joy and peace in believing.' All my advice may be summed up in this--trust in the Lord with all your heart; at least aim at this; I say, aim at it, for this too must be given you. Roll yourself, your doubts, your fears, your sins, your duties, all on him: say, 'Lord, I believe, help thou my unbelief.' He is an almighty Saviour to deliver sinners from sin as well as from punishment. I leave you on the Father of mercies, and will, when the Lord enables, pray for you.
”Yours, etc.”
To the same.
”At last, my dear friend, the Lord appears; appears the Bible G.o.d--'the Lord G.o.d, merciful and gracious, long-suffering, abundant in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity, transgression, and sin.'
”When was it that the Lord proclaimed this, and took unto himself this name? After Israel, his chosen, had been guilty of that awful sin in the wilderness, of making the golden calf, and proclaiming, 'These be thy G.o.ds, O Israel:' David takes it up in the 103d Psalm, 'The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy.' Read on, my dear, then turn to the 130th. This G.o.d is your G.o.d, and has long been your G.o.d; his work was upon your heart, though you could not discern it. In bondage you have long been, but not a willing captive; unbelief kept you in bondage, long, long after your eyes were opened to see your bondage; and even to discern, in some feeble measure, your remedy.
”The Lord has wise reasons for all you have suffered: if not now, you shall in some after-time 'know and consider all the way by which he has led you, to prove you, to try you, and show you what was in your heart, that he might do you good in your latter end.' You did not wait patiently for the Lord your G.o.d; you did not in general say, 'Though he slay me, I will trust in him:' no, my friend has been a great unbeliever, yet hath the Lord, the sovereign Lord, 'whose ways are not as our ways, nor his thoughts as our thoughts,' brought you out of 'a fearful pit, and out of the miry clay; set your feet upon a rock, and established your goings; put a new song into your mouth, even praise unto our G.o.d.' Now you sing the 34th Psalm. I do rejoice with my friend; I bless the Lord with her; let us exalt his name together. It is establis.h.i.+ng to my own soul. I have long prayed, and long looked for this: I lived in the faith of it, a.s.sured that He who had begun the good work, would perfect it in his own time.
”I cannot but regret your want of pastoral food; yet ought I to regret any thing? The Lord himself is your Shepherd. My Bible lies on my lap, and I had turned to the 34th Psalm, to know if it contained what I would point out to you: on finis.h.i.+ng the last verse, I unconsciously turned my eye on the Bible; the words that met it were, 'I will instruct thee, and teach thee in the way that thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye.' Psa. 32:8. And so it shall be. Amen, my G.o.d, Amen. Do as thou hast said.
”Perhaps, my friend, by this time your notes are lowered. It has pleased the Lord to give you a strange sight: Mary Magdalene, a great sinner at the feet of Jesus, pardoned, comforted, and highly honored in after-life.
”This history, accompanied by the Spirit of G.o.d, has consoled, strengthened, and raised up many bowed down since that day, many now around the throne, who sing of pardoning love.
”I now wish to say, hold fast the beginning of your confidence.
Your experience is that of G.o.d's people. To rejoice in the Lord at all times is your privilege, but will not be always your attainment. The Lord has done great things for you, whereof I am glad; but, my dear friend, the warfare is not over: you must endure trials as others; engage with 'princ.i.p.alities and powers, and spiritual wickedness in high places,' and, worst of all, a treacherous heart within; which, for all that it has seen and tasted, is yet corrupt and deceitful. The new life which Christ gives to the soul, evidences itself in the desires of the heart and affections. As certainly as the new-born babe desires the breast, as certainly and as evidently does the new-born soul desire union to G.o.d, communion with him, and conformity to him in heart, life, and conversation. This principle is in its own nature perfectly pure, but the old nature, the law in the spiritual members, is as perfectly corrupt: 'in my flesh dwelleth no good thing.'
”In the order of G.o.d's covenant it has not pleased him to deliver even believers, all at once, from sinful inclinations and pa.s.sions; he has provided for their final complete deliverance, and sin shall not have dominion over them even here; but it is still in them while in the body, and a dying body; and the remains of sin in the soul make the believer's life a warfare, and this world a wilderness; soul and body are diseased; both are redeemed, and provision made for the entire deliverance of both--for the soul at death, for the body at the resurrection; but while in the body, 'if any man say he has no sin, he deceiveth himself, and the truth is not in him.' I John, I:8. Look at Paul's experience--what does he say of the believer's state? He calls it a warfare, a fight, a captivity for a time: see 1 Tim. 6:12; 1 Cor. 9:26.
”I write not thus to dishearten you, but as a friend I warn you, lest you fall again into unbelief. Look not within for comfort, for consolation, for confidence. Christ is the end of the law for righteousness, his blood the atonement, and you are complete in him, his grace is sufficient for you, his strength shall be perfected in your weakness, and you shall go on. Grieve for sin you will, grieve you ought; but keep ever in your remembrance 1 John, 2:1, and 5:11.
”Yours, etc.”
To the same.
”JANUARY 14, 1800.
”My dear friend says, 'O that I could have the society of some aged pious clergyman or Christian, who had gone through his warfare.'
O that you could, in the Lord's hand. I hope it might do you good: yet, after all, the Lord himself must loose your bonds; aye, and he will, and also appoint the means.
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