Part 8 (2/2)
”AUGUST 4, 1796.
”A day to be remembered. Rose at four, not to mourn--no, but to repeat my grateful thanks to my covenant G.o.d for the work he finished this day last year, in delivering my weak, feeble, tossed, and tried Jessie from a body of sin and death, and giving her 'the victory through Jesus Christ, who loved her and gave himself for her.' To thee she was dedicated ere she saw the light; to thee a thousand times I repeated the dedication, begging that thou mightest bring her within the bond of thy covenant; this was the sum and substance of all my askings for her. I witnessed the time of her second birth, saw the tears of conviction and remorse. I witnessed thy loosing her bonds, and tuning her heart and tongue to praise redeeming love. I witnessed the teaching of thy Spirit, and the enlightening of her eyes, and the taste thou gavest her of thy salvation; I thought her mountain stood strong, and she would not be easily moved; but who can tell the deceitfulness of the human heart? Too soon did we all turn aside like a deceitful bow, forsook the fountain of living waters, and hewed out broken cisterns that could hold no water. Glory to G.o.d for the discipline of the covenant, that he did not cast us off, but chastened and corrected. He repeated the discipline stripe upon stripe: I stood by and saw it, and though my heart melted at times, I said, 'She is in her Father's hand, let him do his pleasure.'
”I too was unfaithful to her, thou knowest, and often entered into the same vanity of mind, which stifled the love of G.o.d in our hearts, instead of guarding her and warning her; still, still the Shepherd of Israel followed after both, and with the precious rod restored both, time after time, till it pleased thee to finish her warfare, and deliver her from both body and sin. Lord, I thank thee for all the circ.u.mstances, for the privilege of attending her in her warfare, for the cheerfulness of her spirits, for the rich support we all experienced, for the view we all had of thy faithfulness and fatherly dealing, and for her last words, 'All is well.' O yes, every thing thou doest is well, and this was peculiarly well. I resigned her to thee with joy and thankfulness, and I still acquiesce. Her thou hast taken, me thou hast left, to be yet exercised with further discipline. It is well; thy will be done. O help me to profit by every pang. Let sin be mortified and my soul be purified; enlarge my heart to run the ways of thy commandments. Now may I lay aside every weight, and that vanity of mind which doth so easily beset me, and hath been the secret spring of much backsliding both to myself and to my children. Lord, destroy it.. O let me now live to G.o.d, closely and consistently; down with my will, with self in every form. O purify my motives, and let my whole heart, soul, body, substance, and influence in the world be devoted to thee. Empty me of every thing that is my own, and let 'Christ live in me the hope of glory,' and let the glory of thy workmans.h.i.+p in my soul redound to thee, and thee alone. Amen.”
”AUGUST 13, 1796.
”'As ye have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk ye in him, rooted and built up in him, and established in the faith, as ye have been taught, abounding therein with thanksgiving.' Colossians 2:6.
”O Lord, this is what I pant after. I would fain have done with wandering, Lord, thou knowest, for the work is thine. I have received the Lord Jesus as thy gift to a lost world, as thy gift to me an individual of that world, as having made peace by the blood of the cross. I account it a faithful saying, worthy of all acceptation, that 'Christ came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief,' I have received thee as the Lord my righteousness, crediting thy own word, that 'Christ is the end of the law for righteousness,' and that 'there is no condemnation to them that are in Christ Jesus.' I have received thee as 'the covenant given of the people.' In all the relations by which thou art held out to me in this Bible, so far as I know or understand, I have received thee. I have no hope in myself, no trust in myself, nor any views of communication from G.o.d of any kind, but through the one 'mediator between G.o.d and man, the man Christ Jesus.'
”O my G.o.d, what is my life, what is my happiness but a continual receiving? Thou art 'the bread of life' that must keep alive the living principle in my soul. In thee 'dwelleth all the fulness of the G.o.dhead bodily.' Thy people are complete in thee; thou art their head, they are thy body, and by joints and bands have nourishment ministered to them, and are knit together, and increase with the increase of G.o.d.
”This, O this is what my soul pants after, closer and more intimate union and communion. I would be transformed into thine image; I would be thy temple; I would have thee live in me, walk in me, make me one with thee; I would be delivered from self-will, self-wisdom, self-seeking; I would be delivered from that philosophy and vain deceit which spoils souls and leads them off from their head: then, and not till then, shall I cease to wander, shall 'run and not be weary, walk and not faint.' Then shall 'I run in the way of thy commandments,' and no longer turn aside to crooked ways. Then shall I eat and drink, work and recreate, all to thy glory. Lord, send thy Spirit into my heart, that he may continually take of the things of Christ and show them unto me; that I may grow and be no longer a babe, but arrive at the fulness of stature in Christ Jesus, and more steadily, and more purely, and more zealously, and O, more humbly live to G.o.d, and glorify him in the world. Amen.”
The following extracts of letters to her friend Mrs. Walker, show how ardently the true missionary spirit burned in the heart of Mrs.
Graham, and how efficiently it was exemplified, not only in her pecuniary donations, but her active and self-denying efforts to diffuse information and enlist others in so worthy a cause. The efforts alluded to in the first extract evidently gave rise to the event recorded in the second, _the formation of the first Missionary Society in New York._ It is delightful also to notice her attachment to Christians of other denominations, and the grat.i.tude with which she remembered kindness received by herself when Providence had cast her lot on what was truly missionary ground.
”Do you remember how much I used to say about our dear Methodist Society in Antigua? and the three holy, harmless, zealous Moravian brethren? and how the preachers gave each other the right hand of fellows.h.i.+p, forgetting their differences, in that land of open hostilities, on the kingdom of their common Lord? Thither the Lord brought me from a land of entire barrenness, where, as far as I know, a gospel sermon was never preached. Here I was brought into great affliction, and to pa.s.s through the severest trial that I ever experienced before or since.
”'The Lord brought me into this fold, a poor straggling lamb, who had for five years herded among the goats; and little difference was there between them and me, except that my soul longed after green pastures and rejoiced to hear the shepherd's voice, and when I heard it I knew it, though from one who did not belong to my original fold; these good people nourished me with tenderness, bore with patience my carnality. When my dear husband was taken ill, they wrestled for him in prayer; Mr. Gilbert was every day with him; the Lord heard and gave a joyful parting; yes, joyful, never did I experience such joy; then they sympathized with and soothed the widowed heart, fed her with promises, and in a measure established her: thus they wrought with G.o.d in calling in one, and restoring another; never, never shall I forget the labors of love of that dear little society.
”How many such stragglers as I may be wandering in both East and West Indies, and may be restored by these precious missionaries. I owe them, of my labors, more than others. I send you a bill for _fifty pounds._ I have received eighteen copies of the Missionary Magazine, as far as No. 9. I have got subscribers for them all, who will continue; pay these, and send me what more numbers have been published by the return of the Edinburgh packet, also eighteen complete sets from the beginning. I hope to be successful in disposing of them also. I suppose the sermons go to the same fund; send me a hundred sermons, I will see to get them disposed of; send them single, not bound, and of the best; perhaps they may pave the way for more to follow; every little helps; drops make up the ocean. We cannot yet produce anything; we are gathering intelligence, and endeavoring to collect money; but I grudge that what we can spare should be idle in the meantime; the cause is one; pay the magazines at once, and the sermons if you have enough of my money. I hope to remit again in September. I have a great wish to have a finger in your pie in some way; if I must not subscribe past our own society, I may sell books for yours.
”Ever, my dear friend, yours,
”I. GRAHAM.”
To the same.
”1796-7.
”I thank my friend for her letter. I rejoice with you, and bless the widow's G.o.d. He has indeed been so to us, to the full amount of the promise. I have now much to sing of, little to complain of; my dear girls and Mr. B---- go forward steadily, having laid aside the weights of amus.e.m.e.nts and gayety, and seem determined to follow the Lord fully through good and through evil report. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits. We have a full school, and a very comfortable set of girls. The Lord has delivered from all heavy burthens.
”Last week a considerable number of ministers and lay Christians met for the third time, and established a society for sending missionaries among the Indians, and also among the poor scattered settlers on the frontiers. A sermon was preached in the evening in one of the Dutch churches, 'The liberal deviseth liberal things,' etc., after which an address was read by the Secretary--our dear Mr.
Mason--which, when printed, I will send you.
”The society is to keep up a correspondence with your and the other societies. If they can effect anything themselves, apart here in America, well; if not, they will throw their subscriptions into the common funds and get help from you. This view is very pleasant to us.
There is great need of itinerant preachers in our back settlements; they are scattered, and no churches of any kind; even in some thick settled counties they will not pay a minister. These are 'the highways and hedges;' O that the Lord may compel them to come in.
”I. GRAHAM.”
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