Part 7 (2/2)
”Thou Husband of the widow, thou Father of the fatherless, O how fully, how manifestly hast thou fulfilled these relations to thy worthless servant. Thou, in my early widowhood, didst call me to leave my fatherless children on thee, annexing the promise that thou wouldst preserve them alive.
”Thou didst put it into my heart to plead the promise in a spiritual sense; to ask, to hope, to wait for the new birth, the life which Christ died to purchase, and lives to bestow.
”In three of these fatherless I have seen thy work. Long did the grain of mustard-seed lie buried among the weeds of worldly-mindedness; long were my hopes and fears alternate; but now the blessed discipline of the covenant has been exercised; I have witnessed it, I have felt it--suffered the rod with them and for them, but waited for the fruits in hope; and glory to thee, dear Husband and Father, I have not waited in vain. Thou hast written _vanity,_ and opened our eyes to read vanity written on every earthly enjoyment, except so far as thou art enjoyed in them. Thou hast enabled not only thine aged servant, but her children, to put a blank into thy hand, and to say, 'Choose thou for us.' We take hold of thy covenant, and choose it for our portion. Is not this, O Lord, the full amount of my desires? Thou wilt finish the work in thy own time, and by means of thy appointing.
Amen. Lord, do as thou hast said.”
CHAPTER V.
DEATH OF HER DAUGHTER--FIRST MISSIONARY SOCIETY IN NEW YORK.
In July, 1795, Mrs. Graham's second daughter, Joanna, was married to Mr. Divie Bethune, merchant in New York. In the following month her eldest daughter, Mrs. Stevenson, was seized with a fatal illness.
Possessing a most amiable disposition and genuine piety, she viewed the approach of death with the composure of a Christian and the intrepidity of faith.
She had been in delicate health for some years, and now a complication of disorders denied all hope of recovery. She sung a hymn of triumph until the struggles of death interrupted her. Mrs. Graham displayed great firmness of mind during the last trying scene, and when the spirit of her daughter fled, the mother raised her hands, and looking towards heaven, exclaimed, 'I wish you joy, my darling.' She then washed her face, took some refreshment, and retired to rest.
Such was her joy of faith at the full salvation of her child; but when _the loss of her company_ was felt, the tenderness of a mother's heart afterwards gave vent to feelings of affectionate sorrow: nature will feel, even when faith triumphs. In her devout meditations before G.o.d, Mrs. Graham improves this event as follows:
”OCTOBER 4, 1795.
”Why, O why is my spirit still depressed? Why these sobs? Father, forgive. 'Jesus wept.' I weep, but acquiesce. This day two months the Lord delivered my Jessie, _his Jessie,_ from a body of sin and death, finished the good work he had begun, perfected what concerned her, trimmed her lamp, and carried her triumphing through 'the valley of the shadow of death.' She overcame through the blood of the Lamb.
”I rejoiced in the Lord's work, and was thankful that the one, the only thing I had asked for her, was now completed. I saw her delivered from much corruption within, from strong and peculiar temptation without. I had seen her often staggering, sometimes falling under the rod; I had heard her earnestly wish for deliverance from sin, and when death approached she was more than satisfied: said she had been a great sinner, but she had a great Saviour; praised him and thanked him for all his dealings with her--for hedging her in, for chastising her; and even prayed that sin and corruption might be destroyed, if the body should be dissolved to effect it. The Lord fulfilled her desire, and, I may add, mine. He lifted upon her the light of his countenance; revived her languid graces; increased her faith and hope; loosed her from earthly concerns, and made her rejoice in the stability of his covenant, and to sing, 'All is well, all is well; good is the will of the Lord.' I did rejoice, I do rejoice; but O Lord, thou knowest my frame; she was my pleasant companion, my affectionate child; my soul feels a want. O fill it up with more of thy presence; give yet more communications of thyself.
”We are yet one in Christ our head--united in him; and though she shall not return unto me, I shall go to her, and then our communion will be more full, more delightful, as it will be perfectly free from sin. Christ shall be our bond of union, and we shall be fully under the influence of it.
”Let me then gird up the loins of my mind, and set forward to serve my day and generation, to finish my course. The Lord will perfect what concerns me; and when it shall please him, he will unclothe me, break down these prison-walls, and admit me into the happy society of his redeemed and glorified members: then 'shall he wipe away all tears from my eyes,' and I shall taste the joys which are at his right hand, and be satisfied for evermore.”
Mrs. Graham made it a rule to appropriate _a tenth_ part of her earnings to be expended for pious and charitable purposes. She had taken a lease of two lots of ground on Greenwich-street from the corporation of Trinity church, with a view of building a house on them for her own accommodation; the building, however, she never commenced.
By a sale of the lease, which her son Mr. Bethune made for her in 1795, she got an advance of one thousand pounds. So large a profit was new to her. ”Quick, quick,” said she, ”let me appropriate the tenth before my heart grows hard.” What fidelity in duty; what distrust of herself. Fifty pounds of this money she sent to Mr. Mason in aid of the funds he was collecting for the establishment of a Theological Seminary. Her own version of this matter we have in a letter to her familiar friend Mrs. Walker, of Edinburgh:
”1795.
”MY DEAR MRS. WALKER--My last informed you that we had been made to taste of the Lord's visitation--the yellow-fever--but in great mercy had been spared in the midst of much apparent danger. I have now in my house a girl who lost both father and mother, and many whole families were cut off; my house was emptied; my school broken up; we confined to town, and heavy duty laid upon us at the same time. I trembled again for fear of debt; but 'the Lord brought meat out of the eater.'
”Three years ago, when tried by having one house taken over my head, another bought, and obliged to move three times in as many years, some speculating genius brought me under the influence of the madness of the times, and persuaded me I might build without money. It is quite common here to build by contract. I could not purchase ground, but I leased two lots of church land, got a plan made out, and worried myself for six months, trying to hatch chickens without eggs.
I had asked the Lord to build me a house, to give success to the means, still keeping in view covenant provision, 'what is good the Lord will give.' After many disappointments I said, Well; I have asked--I am refused--it is not good--the Lord will not give it: he will provide, but in his own way, not mine.
”Of course I had to pay ground-rent, which in three years amounted to two hundred and twenty dollars. I think I hear you say, I never could have believed that Mrs. Graham could be guilty of such folly--nor I; but seeing and hearing of many such things, I fancied myself very clever. Last year a basin was formed, and wharves around it, opposite to the said lots; the epidemic raging on the other side of the city brought all the vessels that came in round to them, and great expectations were formed for this new basin; houses and stores sprung up like mushrooms, and Mr. Bethune sold my lease for one thousand pounds. Lo, and behold, part of it is already spent. All my provision through this wilderness has been so strongly marked by peculiar providences, my mind seems habituated to a sense of certainty. I feel my portion of earthly good safer and better in my Lord's hand than in my own.”
In the ensuing year we find the following outbreathings of her rich Christian experience:
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