Part 5 (1/2)
”Leave thy fatherless children, I will preserve them alive; and let thy widows trust in me,' Jer. 49: 11; the Lord's promise, which he made to me in the days of my widowhood, and which I have made the subject of my prayers from day to day, taking the words in a spiritual sense. The Lord has done wonders for me and mine since the day I was left a widow with three orphans, and the fourth not born, in a strange land, without money, at a distance from friends; or rather, without friends. Hitherto he has supplied all my wants, and laid to hand every necessary and many comforts; supporting character and credit, making a way for me through the wilderness, pointing out my path, and settling the bounds of my habitation.
”For all these blessings I desire to be grateful to the G.o.d of providence, whose is the earth and the fulness thereof; but these I cannot take as the substance of the promise; neither have they been the chief matter of my prayers. The salvation and the life I have wrestled for, is that which Christ died to purchase, and lives to bestow--even spiritual life, and salvation from sin. My G.o.d knows I have held fast this view of the words, seeking first the kingdom of G.o.d for my children, leaving temporals to be given or withheld, as may best suit with the conversion and sanctification of their souls. I have not asked for them health, beauty, riches, honor, or temporal life: G.o.d knows what share of these consists with their better interests; let him give or withhold accordingly. One thing I have asked of the Lord, one thing only, and will persist in asking, trust in him for, and for which I think I have his promise--even the life of their and my soul. 1 Thess. 5:23, is my pet.i.tion for me and mine; verse 24, my anchor of hope, preceded by Jeremiah 49:11.”
”EDINBURGH, March 17, 1789.
”This day from the head of his own table did the Lord, by his servant Mr. R----, proclaim his name the I AM, and called on me to write under what I would, for time and eternity. My soul rejoices that G.o.d is, and that he is what he is; nothing less than himself can content me, nothing more do I desire.
”This great I AM is my portion--what can I ask beside? He hath opened my eyes to see his excellency; he hath determined my will, to choose him for my portion. He hath arranged and set in order a rich testament sealed by the blood of his own Son, containing every blessing for time and for eternity. All my heart's desire is there promised, and faith given to believe there shall be a full performance. What have I to say then, but, Amen, do as thou hast said? Father, glorify thy name. Thou hast said, 'Then will I sprinkle clean water upon you, and ye shall be clean; from all your filthiness and from all your idols will I cleanse you. A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you; and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you a heart of flesh; and I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments and do them. And ye shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers: and ye shall be my people, and I will be your G.o.d.' Amen; Lord, do as thou hast said. Behold, I take hold of thy covenant for myself and for my children. It is well ordered in all things, and it is sure. My heart accords to every part of it. Wilt thou guide us by thy counsel while we live, and afterwards receive us to thy glory?
Amen and amen--do as thou hast said.
”If we forsake thy laws, and go astray; if we depart from thee and break thy commandments, wilt thou visit our faults with rods, and our sins with chastis.e.m.e.nts. Blessed promise; amen, Lord, do as thou hast said: seeing thy loving-kindness is secured to us, and thou wilt not cast us off from being thy people, nor alter that which thou hast spoken; wilt thou keep us as the apple of thine eye? wilt thou cover us with the shadow of thy wing? Art thou my Husband? art thou the Father of my fatherless children? wilt thou be the stay of these orphans, and their and my s.h.i.+eld in a strange land? wilt thou perfect what concerns us? wilt thou care for us? wilt thou _never leave us, never forsake us_? in the valley of the shadow of death shall thy rod and staff support us? What can thy servant say but, Amen, do as thou hast said.”
CHAPTER IV.
SCHOOL IN NEW YORK--DEATH OF HER PASTOR DR. JOHN MASON--LAST NEWS OF HER SON.
MRS. GRAHAM, after a pleasant though tedious voyage, landed in New York on the 8th day of September, 1789, where she and her family were received with the greatest cordiality and confidence. The late Rev. Dr. Rodgers and Rev. Dr. John Mason were especially kind to her.
She came eminently prepared to instruct her pupils in all the higher branches of female education; and the favorable change effected by her exertions was soon visible in the minds, manners, and accomplishments of the young ladies committed to her care. She opened her school on the 5th of October, 1789, with five scholars, and before the end of the same month the number increased to fifty. She not only imparted knowledge to her pupils, but also, by her conversation and example, prepared their minds to receive it in such a manner as to apply it to practical advantage. While she taught them to regard external accomplishments as ornaments to the female character, she was careful to recommend the practice of virtue as the highest accomplishment of all, and to inculcate the principles of religion as the only solid foundation for morality and virtue. The annual examinations of her scholars were always well attended, and gave great satisfaction.
General Was.h.i.+ngton while at New York honored her with his patronage.
The venerable and amiable Bishop of the Episcopal church in the state of New York, then the Rev. Dr. Benjamin Moore, was never once absent from those examinations. She was sensible of his friends.h.i.+p, and always spoke of him in terms of great esteem and respect.
She united in communion with the church under the pastoral care of the Kev. Dr. Mason. This excellent man was her faithful friend and wise counsellor. Under his ministry her two daughters, Joanna and Isabella, joined the church in the year 1791. Her eldest daughter Jessie, who had made a profession of religion in Scotland, was married in July, 1790, to Mr. Hay Stevenson, merchant of New York, and she became a member of the church under the care of Dr. Rodgers, where her husband attended.
In the year 1791 her son, who had been left in Scotland to complete his education, paid his mother a visit. Mrs. Graham, considering herself as inadequate to the proper management of a son, had at an early period of his life sent him to the care of a friend, who had promised to pay due attention to his morals and education. The boy had a warm affectionate heart, but possessed, at the same time, a bold and fearless spirit. Such a disposition, under proper management, might have been formed into a n.o.ble character; but he was neglected, and left in a great measure to himself by his first preceptor.
For two years of his life he was under the care of Mr. Murray, teacher of an academy at Abercorn. He was a man truly qualified for his station. He instructed his pupils with zeal; led even their amus.e.m.e.nts; and to an exemplary piety added the faithful counsel of a friend. He loved, and was therefore beloved. Under his superintendence John Graham improved rapidly, and gained the affections of his teacher and companions. Happy for him had he continued in such a suitable situation. He was removed to Edinburgh to receive a more cla.s.sical education. Being left there by his mother and sisters, the impetuosity of his temper and a propensity for a sea-faring life induced his friends to place him as an apprentice in the merchant-service. He was s.h.i.+pwrecked on the coast of Holland, and Mr. Gibson of Rotterdam, a friend of Mrs. Graham, took him to his house, and enabled him to come to the United States.
He remained at New York for some months. His mother deemed it his duty to return to Scotland to complete his time of service. He evidently inclined to the profession of a sailor; she therefore fitted him out handsomely, and he embarked for Greenock in the same s.h.i.+p with Mr. John M. Mason, the only son of Dr. John Mason, who went to attend the theological lectures at the Divinity Hall in Edinburgh.
The following extract shows the anguish of Mrs. Graham's mind in parting with her son, and how she cast him upon the covenant mercy of her G.o.d, placing a blank, as to temporal things, in her Lord's hand, but holding on with a fervent faith and hope to the promise of spiritual life.
”NEW YORK, May 20, 1791.
”This day my only son left me in bitter wringings of heart: he is again launched on the ocean, G.o.d's ocean. The Lord saved him from s.h.i.+pwreck, brought him to my home, and allowed me once more to indulge the yearning of my heart over him. Short has been the time he has been with me, and ill have I improved it: he is gone from my sight, and my heart bursts with tumultuous grief. Lord, have mercy on the widow's son--'the only son of his mother, and she a widow,'
”I ask nothing in all this world for him: I repeat my pet.i.tion--save his soul alive; give him salvation from sin. It is not the danger of the seas that distresses me; it is not the hards.h.i.+ps he must undergo; it is not the dread of never seeing him more in this world: it is because I cannot discern the fulfilment of the promise in him. I discern not the new birth nor its fruits, but every symptom of captivity to Satan, the world, and self-will. This, O this is what distresses me: and in connection with this, his being shut out from ordinances, at a distance from Christians; and shut up with those who forget G.o.d, profane his name, and break his Sabbaths.
”O Lord, many wonders hast thou shown me; thy ways of dealing with me and mine have not been common; add this wonder to the rest: call, convert, regenerate, and establish a sailor in the faith. Lord, all things are possible with thee: glorify thy Son, and extend his kingdom by sea and land; take the prey from the strong. I roll him over upon thee. Many friends try to comfort me; miserable comforters are they all. Thou art the G.o.d of consolation; only confirm to me thy gracious word, on which thou causedst me to hope in the day when thou saidst to me, 'Leave thy fatherless children, I will preserve them alive.' Only let this life be a spiritual life, and I put a blank in thy hand as to all temporal things. 'I wait for thy salvation.' Amen.”
Three months afterwards she learned that a press-gang had boarded the s.h.i.+p in which her son was, and although he was saved from their grasp by a stratagem of the pa.s.sengers, yet all his effects were taken away from him. In the following reflections on this event, the anxious mother shows that she would not withdraw the blank she had put into her Redeemer's hands.
”NEW YORK, August 18, 1791.
”Thus far the Lord hath tried me, and kept me to my choice.
This night I have tidings, through a letter to Dr. Mason, that my son has been seized by the press-gang. Through G.o.d's help, he escaped; but all his a.s.sortment of necessaries that his sisters and I made up with so much care, labor, and expense, they have carried off, and he is once more left naked. Satan and a corrupt heart unite in tempting me to complain. Dare I utter a word or harbor a murmuring thought? Would I withdraw the blank I have put into the Redeemer's hand? Has he not hitherto done all things well? Have not my own afflictions been my greatest blessings? Have not I asked for my children their mother's portion? Has not G.o.d chiefly made use of afflictions as means of hedging me in, and shutting me up to my choice of this portion, as well as showing me that He is a sufficient portion without any other? When matters have been at the worst with me as to this world, my triumphs in G.o.d have been highest, and prospects for eternity brightest.