Chapter 38 - Volume 2 (2/2)

「……What do you mean?」

Even though there were better ways I could have played dumb, what comes out of my mouth is that line. This is bad. It really is bad. No, the taste of the stew isn’t bad at all. What’s bad is this situation.

What I’m hiding from this man is my nightmares, and the fact that I go to the library. Both of them are my top secrets that I can’t expose now of all places. But from the looks of him, it seems like he’s found some sort of evidence, which is why he’s asking me.

「Where did you go today?」

No doubt that’s why he’s throwing these direct questions at me like this. His sunrise-colored eyes are as sharp as a bird of prey spotting its catch. If I was a normal noble family’s daughter, I’d faint right then and there.

I can’t run away from this. Even if I awkwardly struggle, I’ll only be digging myself a deeper grave. I know that even if I don’t like it. I can’t help but internally tut-tut, ‘it really is a problem that we’ve known each other so long.’

「……To the national library.」

「Oh? By yourself?」

「What are you trying to say?」

When I reply in a murmur, he piles up more questions, clearly implying something. When I ask him a question in return, he suddenly smiles. That smile, so beautiful I can’t help but be charmed. This might be worse than I thought. I somehow manage to fix my expression; he smiles at me, his smile feeling too cold just because he’s so beautiful. This is bad.

「Widnichol said he saw you at the library today.」

「Oh, is that so? He should have greeted me.」

This man’s disciple, Widnichol, is an obedient, sweet boy completely unlike this man. I’d always been praying that our paths wouldn’t cross, but it seems I’ve finally been found by him, huh?

It’s far too late for excuses. I’ve just been lucky to not get caught until now in the first place. I knew I’d be found out one day, but to think that that day has finally come… But I don’t understand why just that has put this man in such a bad mood.

Certainly, I do think it was bad of me to silently go to and from the library, but there’s no reason going to the library itself should be criticized. Since there’s not just magical books there, but books of all sorts of genres of the country. If he only saw me, he still wouldn’t know that I was reading magical books. Maybe if he talked to me about it I’d get exposed, but for now I’m supposed to be safe. But.

「He said he couldn’t even if he tried. Since you were with Ronein.」

I blink in surprise at the name ‘Ronein’. Of all the things that boy Widnichol had to have witnessed, it was this.

The time I spent sitting with Celves Sin Ronein today certainly wasn’t that long. The timing was just far too bad for me to be witnessed doing that. Well, it’s not like it was a secret meeting or something, but it feels really uncomfortable to have it pointed out by this man.

「……Do you know him?」

「He was my classmate at the Academy of Magic. Though he was only my classmate for less than a year, at most.」

He says that as if it’s no big deal; I can’t do anything but nod. This is the man who graduated the Academy of Magic by constantly skipping grades. There’s nothing strange if in the midst of that, he ended up knowing Celves who has enough power to work in the Black Lotus Court. But it seems like they didn’t get along well. The uncomfortable way he speaks Celves’s name is a fine proof of that.

‘So what’s the matter with that?’ I ask him with my gaze. His smile disappears, his expression saying, ‘Don’t you get it?’ I can do nothing but be bewildered.

「Don’t meet him anymore.」

「……Even if you say that……」

「What?」

There’s no ‘what’s here. All of the times I met Celves until now have been nothing more than coincidences, it’s not like we particularly agree to meet or something. Even if he says 『Don’t meet him』 it’s not something I can do so simply. He is certainly my husband, but he doesn’t have the right to interrupt in my friendships with other people in the first place, right?

Those sunrise-colored eyes gaze at me irritatedly. Those eyes, such a wonderful color that changes from orange to purple, are like a treasured item to me. But just this time, they’re annoying me. Because, isn’t this situation just simply unfair?

「Even you…..」

「What?」

「Even you’re always with Lady Luna, aren’t you?」

The rumors of him and Lunamerie are far from resolving; they’re slowly becoming more and more credible, reaching my ears every day. Anybody and everybody is talking about nothing but this, I’m fed up with it. I’ve had enough of it.

Certainly I’m the one supposed to sit in the position of this man’s wife. But now that I’ve gotten here, staying here itself seems so foolish. I’m really just like an idiot.

Those sunrise-colored eyes widen in surprise at my words. Even though he doesn’t say it in words, his eyes eloquently show that he’s heard something unexpected. Was he so thick-headed as to think I didn’t know about the rumors?

What comes to my mind is the sight of this man and Lunamerie standing together. Even though all kinds of noble daughters snuggle up to him, the only one that this blunt, cold man has allowed to enter his laboratory, his room, is Lunamerie. Is it because of her good family? No, this man has never shown any interest in political power from the start, so it can’t be that. If he’s the same man I know, it can’t be that.

Or perhaps, has he changed? Has he ended up changing? All without me realizing, me, the person supposed to be closer to him more than anyone else. Has he gone somewhere I can’t reach? Just like in that dream.

Ah, I can hear the crying voice.

「Filmina……?」

「You’re so unfair.」

Even in the midst of that unceasing crying voice, the words I’m saying are unshaking. It’s not lovable at all, if I do say so myself. Then, there isn’t a single shred of loveliness in the words I’m saying.

「You never share important things with me, and now you want to interfere just at times like this?」

Wrong. This is wrong. I don’t want to say things like this. I should’ve been calm, I should’ve laughed it off like always. I know I should’ve done that, but my mouth won’t stop. The man says no words, just looking at me. My face reflected in his sunrise-colored eyes is cruel, even if I say so myself.

I didn’t want to show him this twisted expression, trying to smile but failing, but unable to cry either. I desperately swallow down the all the words about to overflow from me any second. The crying voice is so noisy, I can’t stand it.

「I, just……」

I just.

『Just』 what? I don’t know. The resounding crying voice in my head, in my heart, steals my thoughts from me, even swallowing down and washing away my words. The spoon slips out of my hand. Then, the world lurches slanted, rapidly going dark.

「Filmina?!」

In the midst of that unceasing crying voice, I only awfully hear the voice of that man calling out my name. That’s my last moments before my consciousness is plunged into darkness.