Chapter 3 - Volume 1 (1/2)

Thus, I puzzled throughout my daily life, which was in a sense glorious, but in other words extremely futile. Four years had passed since I remembered 『me』 when I met that man, right around the time of my seventh birthday.

Agedilus Von Lancent.

That man, with a name one would stutter saying, was the chief wizard of our country, my childhood friend, and then my fiance.

Yes, the chief wizard. He was admired as having the most magical power in the kingdom, and as mentioned before, one of the party of heroes that were our country’s last hope (hah).

You could say it’s foolish. In fact, I want to call it foolish. But unfortunately, the truth remains the truth. I had to take it face-on without running away.

He’s incredibly beautiful now. Some might argue about using the word “beautiful” to describe men, but I don’t know any other word more fitting to describe him. He boasts a face so beautiful that he’s equally matched in looks when standing next to the princess, who’s called the Living Jewel of our kingdom.

He has jet black hair that stays glossy without any oil, mysterious eyes with orange and purples mixing and swaying as if scooped out from a sunset. A tall, slim nose, and pale lips that change color like petals. White skin that’s forgotten how to get sunburned. Each of his features is perfect, his beauty standing out, terribly androgynous, like the night fairies that bards sing about.

……It’s strange how I slowly get angry when I talk about this. Why does he have such fine skin without doing anything for it? How is his hair so glossy? No doubt words like acne or damaged hair are unknown to him.

No matter how hard I try—actually, that’s fine. Well, it’s not fine but I’ll leave it for now. Because there’s a question I’ve asked myself countless times. We do have conflicts with him saying, “Must I praise my fiancée like a bard?” but, inevitably, the truth remains the truth.

Yes, that’s not the problem. What I’m referencing here is the question: why would a man like that be my fiance? Well, there’s… How should I put it? There are some rather unpleasant circumstances. If I talk about that, it’ll end up quite long in itself, and it’s not an interesting story.

My father, head of the Adina family, was the Governor of Magical Books and the man made to be Agedilus’s father, head of the Lancent family, was one of the palace wizards. The two of them had a deep friendship. The two families were close even before I was born, frequently visiting each other’s mansions.

Sir Lancent had soft, silver-black hair with blue eyes — he wasn’t showy or even beautiful, but he was the type that always suited a gentle smile…… I usually called him ‘Uncle Lancent’. And he was just my type since then. Absolutely perfect for me. The epitome of my type.

To be honest, even my father was called beautiful but Lancent’s personality was more to my liking. Whenever he visited us, I’d make full use of my privilege as a young girl to jump at him. My father would sigh at me, but oh father, you must understand this is what women are just like. Don’t think all women are like my gentle, pure-hearted, innocent mother.

Uncle Lancent’s wife had unfortunately already passed away by then. I heard she was a splendid personage, the vice-leader of the order of the knights – though not very ladylike. Since Uncle Lancent chose her, I have no doubt she must have been lovely. It’s unfortunate I couldn’t get the chance to meet her.

One day, Uncle Lancent suddenly brought a boy to our house, Agedilus.

If I asked, I was told that Agedilus’s family had distanced themselves from him due to his magical power, and Uncle Lancent had rescued him from his difficult life. But I didn’t know the details. But I didn’t know the details. Was it something you couldn’t tell children?

I wonder if I’ll never know after all. Well, it doesn’t seem like the present situation will change even if I was told what happened, so I have no intention of asking. I don’t have the free time to nag about not being told something that I’d be told if it was actually necessary.

The first time I saw that man…… No, I’ll call him a boy now. The day that boy turned up accompanying Uncle Lancent, I was told he was the same age as me but he looked much younger. Looking back, I now realize it was because until being taken in by Uncle Lancent, he hadn’t been fed properly and lost weight, malnutritioned.

But back then, I had no way of knowing that. I just knew that his coat looked more like it was wearing him than he was wearing it. He had a thick hood on, so I couldn’t make out his features. I remember instinctively comparing him to a kind of paper doll kids played with.

「Take off that coat, Agedilus, it’s alright now,」 Uncle Lancent said worriedly to the boy who he’d been secretly hiding, who would never take his coat off even if he was inside.

My parents were also there beside me, along with my brother and wet nurse. Agedilus firmly held the hem of Uncle Lancent’s clothes with his white, thin hand as he felt the gaze of all 5 of us on him, not removing the coat.

「Agedilus, it’s alright now.」 At Uncle Lancent’s soothing voice, the boy finally took his hood off. At the sight of his now exposed face, we Adina’s all had our breaths taken away.

I truly forgot the passage of time for a second then. That’s how shocking it was.

The first thing that captured my eyes was that magnificent black hair. It was the first time I saw hair that color since being born in this world. And then, under long, dark eyelashes of the same black color, were big eyes the color of the sunrise. I don’t know to this day if I was expressing how moved I was, but that black hair was nostalgic enough to make me burst in tears, those sunrise-colored eyes so radiant.

「Beautiful,」 I murmured without realizing.

Everyone there was incredibly surprised at me, from Uncle Lancent to my family members. But I think the one most surprised was the boy himself. His sunrise-colored eyes opened wide, staring at me. Even though I never meant to accidentally say anything wrong in the first place.

Although I certainly disliked how excessively thin he was, his beauty far excelled that. Even though he was young, he boasted an otherworldly beauty. If I had to describe it, yes, he was an angel. He was a fairy. And at the same time, he was an animal who had never been embraced by anyone.

When I took a step towards him, he took a step back to maintain that exact distance between us. The only one he let his guard down around was his adoptive father, Uncle Lancent, and he truly believed everyone else was a threat.

「I am Filmina Veer Adina, pleased to meet you!」 Not accepting defeat, I took his pale, thin hand and introduced myself. But he shook my hand off in a second.

……Ah, I see, he was the only exception for me. I want to be understood when I say it was only natural for me to give up then. No matter how cute or beautiful he was, he was impossible to talk to. They say the first step to communication is to smile and greet your partner, but what should you do when the first step itself fails?

I would wrack my head over what to do whenever the two of us were put out in the courtyard to play and he would never approach me.

When I tried looking at Uncle Lancent and my parents’ behavior around him, they may have been a little too drastic. I still wonder if their actions were excessively unreasonable. Although I was also raised with that same child-like treatment, that boy was completely different from other kids. If he did something wrong, the result might have been fatally damaging towards him. I think Uncle Lancent as well as my parents were both gambling when it came to him.

Whenever we were driven out to the courtyard, as if being kicked out, we were both silent as expect. My brother used to cling to me before, but then he was scared of Agedilus so he’d run away to my mother who was inside. So in the end, it was just the two of us. He was completely indifferent to me as I snuck glances at him, standing still doing absolutely nothing.

It was unbelievably awkward. He stood so still that I wondered if he was doing photosynthesis, not making the slightest movement. That beautiful face of his, so young yet so poised, was utterly expressionless. The only time his expression changed was when I unconsciously said “Beautiful,” and when I forcibly held his hand. Since then, he was completely expressionless.

It was painful to watch. Incredibly painful. Even if I was 30+ on the inside, when the other person is an angelic, fairy-like seven-year-old, everyone has their limits. I didn’t even have any experience working with children, there was no way I could handle accompanying a child who’d gone through trauma.

And so, if you ask what I did then, the answer simply is: I gave up again.

I could then read magical books written for children in the normal alphabet with magical vocabulary mixed in. So I simply took up position at the bench in the courtyard, book in hand.

Even if I managed to read it, whether I could implement it in reality or not was a different question. But there was no option for me except to eventually get married into another noble family, so I thought if I, daughter of the Adina family, could gain even the minimum information I possibly could, I might be able to increase the options of my possible in-laws. Clever, if I do say so myself…… Or, rather, I’ve been endeavoring to behave admirably since then.

Well, if he wants to photosynthesize then he could do that to his heart’s content. Maybe he could self-produce his own nutrition like that and gain some weight — wouldn’t that be perfect?

As to whether that was actually what I thought, I’ll leave that be. Anyway, under that incessant sunlight, I gave up on that boy – that boy, who was like a spirit visitor from a distant realm – and decided to immerse myself in my own hobbies to my heart’s content.