Part 16 (1/2)

aDonat shoot. Itas just us, Eli,a I said, announcing us to keep him from firing his gun in our direction.

At once, the darkness receded and we stood in the waning light coming from the cave entrance. Elias eyes bulged when he noticed the girl in Oliveras arms.

aWell, thatas interesting,a he said, shaking his head. aYou go in with one and come out with two. Whereas Robert?a aDead,a Oliver answered, setting Liv down beside where Grant lay.

aHowas he doing?a I asked.

Grantas eyeas fluttered open as he answered. aIam fine. Hurting, but fine.a The storm had finally broken. The wind died down along with it, making it safe enough for an evac extraction.

Oliver wove his way around everyone, disappearing to the rocks below where Nadia waited.

Lowering myself to sit opposite of where Ace set a groggy Airen down, I allowed myself to look into her eyes as she opened them.

For a few brief seconds, we watched each other. I owed her an explanation. By the look in her eyes, she knew what I had to say wouldnat be good.

Maybe it would make things easier if she hated me. I could walk away knowing her anger would one day turn into resentment, and shead eventually forget about me.

Eli moved in front of her, speaking to her about her injuries. I tipped my head back, allowing myself to grieve the loss of her while no one watched.

THE ONLY THING THAT KEPT me grounded was the connection of our eyes. I held it for all I was worth, willing him to see past the guilt he felt.

I needed him to see I didnat hold any grudges. That I wasnat broken by the moment. Any of them, for that matter.

If anything, it made me stronger. Forced me to accept that life was perfectly imperfecta and that it was all right to be that way.

So long as he kept his eyes on mine, we could see past all of it and into one another. Head been my strength whether he knew it or not.

A strength I never thought Iad need, but that I found myself reaching for in him. If he shut me out, Iad never be the same.

Iad survive it, surely, but I didnat want to have to face it without him.

See me, Aiden. Donat push away. I still need you. I willed my thoughts at him, hoping theyad penetrate the foggy look in his eyes.

Even though our eyes were caught in silent communication, I was aware of everything around me. Could hear them as they spoke to one another.

Beside Grant, Liv lay curled in a ball. Her once straight, flowing hair was matted to the side of her head. Bones stuck out prominently as her dirty clothes hung from her frame.

Every single person around me had in some way been affected by my uncleas madness, but that would be no more. He was dead, no longer a threat to humanity. No longer a threat to my family.

My heart stuttered as Aunt Brenda and Mum popped into my thoughts, filling my eyes with tears. Were they still alive?

Aidenas face pinched. When he noticed the tears, his nostrils flared and his fist clenched. I wanted so badly to slide along the stone floor and tuck my head up under his chin. It would feel safe there, warm even.

Before I could scoot forward, Eli knelt down in front of me, severing the connection Aiden and I shared.

I wanted to shove him aside, but it was too late. Peeking around Elias shoulder, I saw Aiden close his eyes.

A sense of heaviness descended over me like a cold, wet blanket. I knew in that moment Iad lost him, and it hurt like h.e.l.l.

THE DOOR TO THE HOSPITAL room swished open before I could place my hand on the k.n.o.b.

We stood there staring at each other, both unsure of what to say.

Iad avoided her for two weeks after we were picked up at the cave. I wish I could say it was a blur of time, but that would be a d.a.m.n lie.

Every day since Airen had been taken to the hospital to be treated for her injuries had been nothing but torturous for me.

Knowing exactly where she was didnat help either. It only made it worse. Made my decision eat away at me until I felt like there was nothing left but an empty sh.e.l.l.

I could never love Airen the way she deserved to be loved. The way I wanted so desperately to love her.

She bit her bottom lip, sidestepping me as she walked at a fast clip away from me.

I hung my head, knowing that if I didnat go after her, didnat at least try to explain it to her, that Iad never get another chance.

Grant and Nadia had decided I needed to go back to the States for a little bit. The ticket theyad bought was tucked into my suitcase, sitting in the car.

aAiren, wait!a I called after her, running to catch up.

She stopped, but she didnat turn around.

I reached out, stopping myself at the last second before my hands touched her shoulders.

I could feel her heata”smell the light perfume she wore. The combination of the two reached inside my chest and squeezed my heart until it threatened to stop beating.

aWhat do ye want, Aiden?a she asked, her voice barely a whisper.

aIam sorry,a I said, matching the soft tone of her voice.

aYeah, me too,a she answered, and then walked away.

I left my heart there on the floor of the hospital as I walked out without saying good-bye to Brenda. Iad already said them to Mina at her funeral.

Airen didnat deserve me hanging around, trying to be her friend. Too much had happened. Too many secrets had been kept from her. Leaving was for the best. It was what I had to do. And it hurt like f.u.c.king h.e.l.l.

I DOUBLE CHECKED THE ADDRESS from the email on my phone with the one on the door. It was definitely Joshas apartment. What didnat make sense was the location of it. I thought he would have lived a little closer to the university. Raising my fist, I pounded on the door, waiting for him to answer.

The chain lock stopped it from opening fully as Josh peeked out through the crack.

aAiden? What are you doing here?a he asked before closing the door and pulling the chain lock free.

Dragging a deep breath into my chest, I let the first of many lies Iad end up telling Josh fall from my lips. aIam on leave and decided to come check out the college hotties youare keeping all to yourself, a.s.shole. Now let me in.a He pulled the door open slowly, revealing a spa.r.s.e living room.

aGuess I canat sleep on your couch thenaa I said, pointing out the fact that he had no couch.

Something like embarra.s.sment flashed in Joshas eyes. He tried hiding it, but it was too late. Iad already seen it. Maybe coming to see Josh wasnat just my salvation. What if it was his too? aDonat worry; the floor works just fine.a Joshas eyes snapped, life springing back into them. aWhat the h.e.l.l makes you think Iall let you stay here with me? You could be cramping my style, ya know?a I laughed at him, moving further into the small apartment and heading for the kitchen. aIam hungry,a I said, pulling the refrigerator door open.

It was empty. Jesus, how the h.e.l.l was he even getting by?

aI havenat gone shopping yet. I just cleaned that out last night. Itas a good thing too. There was a box of pizza that had its own colony of mold about to storm the apartment.a He could lie to me all he wanted. I knew lies. I told them more than I cared to. aWell, in that case, go get your shoes. Dinneras on me.a Something like relief crossed his face as he spun away and disappeared into the room at the end of the short hallway.