Chapter 59 (2/2)

I want to stop, but

“I don’t have the luxury to just drop everything and cry! Even withjust hoerless I was!” (Iris)

Even though my love has since cooled down after the annulment, I can’t say that I don’t still think about it I ao fro will not give ave up crying I decided to instead use otiate with father

Even after I arrived at the fief, I was still unsure of everything In ular accountant that you could find any tax agency This is my first time I have to learn and deal with political strife and situations I was alorried about whether my choices would actually improve my peoples’ lives and if I would be allowed to ied at me

“Even now, excommunicated from the church… me, a sinner… What the heck? What did I possibly do to deserve that kind of declaration?!”(Iris)

“It’s hard It’s so hard Why? Why is this happening to me?! I just want to run away, scream, and shout, but…”(Iris)

I try to hide my tears with my hands, but they drip from my palms

“And all this because of my useless self… My chest hurts when I thinkThey have all tried so hard and done so much to build our fief… Because ofI am so useless and pathetic… This is so painful”(Iris)

Likethe words that spill from my mouth The words that came after had bothfor help, will soht that should be abandoned Even if I did reach out for help, as acalled a sinner affects everyone associated withwill change Until then, I would just be a liability” (Iris)

Yes, even if I relinquished all ofas I am still a sinner who is excolo exco been called a sinner, at the very least, I need to get rid of that declaration

“I’ back tears because they’re useless… I can’t cry, because… what if I get abandoned again?” (Iris)

I was afraid of becoh I know it’s stupid to think that way, I still don’t want to lose everyone I harbor that fear in ht happen

“I a But I couldn’t even– that’s what I as, my ears overflowed This may have been the first ti and confused eth is truly beautiful… but, please, do not lose sight of who you are in that façade This is the wish of everyone orks with you You not allowing yourself to be vulnerable or to take a moment for yourself… Given your position and past, this is so that can’t be helped, but if you press on like this, you orry the people who share your journey and you et this” (Dean)

Dean’s expression as he expresses his true thoughts looks very serious This even feels like one of the lecturesbe hind those words, Father, and very painfully so Thank you, Dean

After a long ti cried so htthat he would handle the rest of today’s work If it weren’t for hi This was the first time I slept so soundly; I fell asleep the instant I laid , when I looked into the mirror, I saw that my eyes were still red However, my complexion and heart felt refreshed Now, it is ti ceremony”