Part 9 (2/2)
When I don't say anything, he picks a flake of tortilla off his khakis and says. ”I have forever, all right? I'd treat you a whole lot better than Jean-Pierre ever would. How did you even get into a situation where you'd get to know him? I mean, you two aren't exactly in the same social circle.”
”It's a small town.”
”Yeah, that's true. I guess I just feel like I'm a million miles away from getting to know you.”
”Do you even date people outside your religion?”
”What makes you think I date at all?”
”Well, you go to all the school dances.”
”With Wendy, LaDell, or Rachel, sure. They're friends. Wendy and Rachel's mom doesn't even want her daughters to steady date while in high school. I mean, thank you, for thinking I have a love life, but I don't.” He s.h.i.+fts his weight, his khakis sc.r.a.ping softly against the rough surface of the boulder.
I look at his profile as he eats more burrito. Kailie calls him hot, and she's not wrong. He is very attractive with a chiseled jaw and those eyes that catch your attention whenever they turn your direction, even across a crowded room. I've never thought about him in a romantic way. Now I wonder if that's because I'm not interested or I always thought he was off limits and never even considered it.
”I sense I have not made you swoon,” he says.
”Well... I'm not big on being bossed around.”
”Noted. Sorry.”
”And you're right. We barely know each other.”
”Yeah, how is that? I remember when you lost your first tooth.”
”On the playground.”
”And you cried because you couldn't find it for the tooth fairy.”
”Sure, and I remember when you accidentally dented Mr. Kim's car, when you were swinging your backpack around as fast as you could and you let go of it-”
”I'd forgotten that.”
”Oh. Sorry to remind you.”
He laughs. ”It's all right. We know all about each other, I'd bet, but you're right. We don't actually know each other. How do we change that?”
”Talk, I guess. Have conversations.”
”I'd like to do that more often. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'd totally be fine to kiss you right now, but if you want to get to know each other, I'm cool with that.”
”Yeah...” I try to think of a diplomatic way to tell him that I'm not sure the kissing thing will ever happen, but already, it's too late. My awkward silence tells him everything.
”Eh, it's all right,” he says. ”I know what's really going on here.”
”What's that?”
”You'd have so much trouble controlling your physical attraction to me that you'd put my covenants in danger, and it's sweet of you to not just think of yourself and how badly you want my body.”
”Right. I wouldn't want to get you in trouble. And I wouldn't want to damage your clothes by tearing them.”
That catches him off guard and he laughs out loud, then bites his fist, his ribs shaking with mirth. ”You are too kind.”
”I know.”
”Wow, Madison Lukas joked about ripping my clothes off... just... wow.”
When put like that, I'm reminded of all the disgusting stuff in my Facebook profile and I take another big bite of burrito to hide my wince.
He sees it, though. ”Everyone knows the Facebook stuff wasn't you, okay? And Ryan and his group blabbing about seeing Jean-Pierre climb in your window, n.o.body's gonna listen to them. It's not like they've got any credibility.”
Except that they're right, I think. That would explain why Tatiana didn't just mock me, but instead elected to kick me in the face.
I eat the rest of my burrito and then wonder if I'm going to have to trade a size up in my jeans. I've had two deep fried burritos in two days. Disgusting.
Carson holds out a hand for my garbage, and stuffs it into the paper bag. We walk back to town, him kicking the occasional rock along the way to send it skipping ahead into the darkness. ”Thanks for hanging out,” he says.
”It was nice.”
”Did it make your day any better?”
”Actually, yeah.”
”Cool.” He gives me a wistful smile, and I can't help but notice all over again, he is really good looking.
When I get home and climb back in my window, I can hear my mom moving around in the kitchen. ”That you, Madison?”
”No, it's a burglar.”
”Well, you picked the wrong house. There's nothing to steal.”
I go join her. ”Carson came by and-”
”Make sure you close your window. The heating bill is high enough.”
”Okay. So-”
”You have a good night.” She brushes past me and goes to her room.
The next day, JP gives me a surrept.i.tious wink and smile during lunch, but I don't dare return it. A note in my locker promises he'll be by tonight, but I don't know how I feel about that.
That afternoon at work, I have an email from John.
Hi Madison, I'm home now, and just dropping you a note to say hi. Sorry I didn't get to spend much time with you, but here's my phone number. Contact me any time.
I love you, John I stare at the ”I love you.” That, I have to admit, is weird.
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