Chapter 5 (1/2)

Afterwards, Linus immediately came to retrieve her and, as stated, Yuna spent several days in her room

The large room was as wearisome as usual, but thanks to Linus’ consideration there were several new things inside the tasteless rooious texts to the popular, arranged on her bookshelves, and a complete set of lacework placed casually on the table Most of the books were difficult for Yuna and hard to read, and the lacework too was uneable for her since she didn’t have experience in the aristocratic arts Even so, she was grateful for Linus’ thoughtfulness and expressed her thanks in her heart

The roo as food was brought in, she could live inside her roorateful

Yuna, who had been excused froh and looked around the roo around the roo at the spines ether and pull out one book

It was a book on the history of this country and the saints It wasn’t so that was impossible to read but it would take a lot of time to decipher the words and it was a bothersome history book to understand for Yuna However, it was precisely because of this that it was so she could use to pass the time, and she also wanted to know more about the relation between the saints and this country, so it was like killing two birds with one stone She was lacking in too e

(Ever since the long gone time of myths, there has always been the existence of a saint)

By the tihed and reached a point in the book where the events were only 1000 years ago, thea cup of brewed tea to her mouth, she found herself unexpectedly astonished at the “deep-rooted” history of the saints

In the past, this country was just one of many countless countries that crowded around this land But, even at that time, it was known to the other countries that there was a saint who served Sibelius The kingdom of Sibelius protected its saint fro no effort And then, one day, it came to have the power to overwhelm the other countries; it ritten in the book that the other countries naturally surrendered to Sibelius when they understood the preciousness of the saint And, about 1000 years ago from now, the world became unified under Sibelius and the other countries were left as vassals However, even Yuna vaguely understood that, in the world of entangled interests and speculations, the conflict between all countries was not so easily settled It was more likely that the present Sibelius was fores

Now then, more importantly, about the saints

Yuna roused herself again and skipped past the political parts of the book until she reached the part referring to the saints, where she narrowed down her focus to continue reading the book

The saints who appeared in this history book were all women ere subliels Everyone was portrayed as a faultless saint and praised on how they served their country with their body and soul Yuna had so as a saint and she was already feeling tired There had to be girls who couldn’t endure the heavy pressure of a saint’s duties being pushed onto theht? Or did everyone just continue to exist as the ideal saint without a single complaint? It all seemed very suspicious, that was Yuna’s honest impression

But, well, there was that; it was no surprise that the previous generations of saints, froo, were deified Even if there were scandals here and there, no doubt the details of those stories would be omitted But still, as she continued to read about these saints, she couldn’t help but groan at how Celiastina was really a heretical saint In these thousands years of histories, there was not a single appearance of a saint which had committed atrocious acts No matter how the author of this book colored their evaluation of Celiastina, it was i like “she served the country with complete devotion”

(In that case, what about the saints froo?)

She turned over a large width of the book to look at the last few dozen pages It looks like this book was s written about the previous saint– the saint before Celiastina! Yuna curbed her impatience and read the entry

That saint was called Malveneska It was a grand na to this book the wo the saint, were bestoith a na In other words, Celiastina’s na, not her real name Generally, the nainal name but with a holy sound to it

Malveneska was a brunette, with plentiful hair, and a beauty with a mysterious atmosphere She had an obedient and silent personality, without many facial expressions, but she conducted her cerele one and was a woeneration of saints held special powers, and in her case it appeared to be the ability to “sing well” Compared to the power of clairvoyance in past saints, her poas quite plain but her singing was beautiful to a point of being heavenly and those who heard her voice were struck with such wonder that tears would flon their cheeks The book described exaggeratedly at how the First Holy Knight loved his fiancée so much from the bottom of his heart that he could not even wait for her to turn twenty to marry her

The descriptions around Malveneska were around this a her life and was published when she was still quite young With this, Yuna was unable to kno Malveneska lived her life as the saint Thinking that this was a shae And then her eyes landed on a number Yuna was so surprised to see Malveneska’s birthday that her breath caught

Adelbert 2 Wasn’t that just forty years ago!? In other words, if she were still alive she would still be in herhere was proof that Malveneska no longer existed in this world Yuna didn’t know the exact age of Celiastina but, looking at her appearance, she was unive or take If she used that for her calculations, then Malveneska died pree of twenty It is hard to think that she had an accidental death in this royal palace Then, maybe she died from an illness?

(How sad)

While thinking that, she couldn’t feel anythingherself with Malveneska

Yuna closed the book and looked up at the ceiling –How much time was she allowed? She could only feel a sense of helplessness at the certain feeling of an iht have lived as the saint while having these sahts For what sake did she devote her prayers to as she approached death? For herself after her death? Or for the country that continues even after her death?

There was no doubt in her decision to move forward on the path she believed in But there was another doubt that swirled in Yuna no matter what she did

In the next few days, the rooes It was likely that, in the short tis she had to pass the time with The set of lacework that were on the table on the first day disappeared and were replaced by a beautiful painting set, and just by looking at it she could tell it was expensive The flute-like instrued to a s music

They probably caught Yuna’s lack of interest in those ites that Yuna hadn’t touched ht that it would be bad for the saint to beco of “apology” but rather a “there will be trouble” ht with a self-derisive sh

But it was hard for her to ie set and ht have been Linus’ consideration for her again, she asked the maid who appeared to clean up her dinner

But, surprisingly, when she did so the answer that was returned was “Those came from Lord Asyut’s consideration” It looks like, from the start, Asyut was the one who ordered her maids to prepare these various items

(…… I can’t believe it)

Considering the attitude he had when she had faced hih there was no way he would care about her sake However, she didn’t think the maids would lie about this These various items were definitely prepared by Asyut

(It’s so pretty)

Yuna picked up the littered

(I wonder if I can be friends… with Asyut)

Was that an impossible wish? Was it completely impossible to fill the deep trench that stretched between them?

(I want to become friends, huh……)

Why did she think that way? If she had been a village girl, then so rand thing that it wouldn’t even be granted in her drea for a relationshi+p that would be more than that Besides, if by any chance, hypothetically speaking, she was able to become friends with Asyut then what awaited them was an inescapable separation And yet, why did she…

(I h Celiastina’s point of view, little by little)

Linus had spoken about this before He told her not to equate herself with Celiastina It’s true that Yuna thought the sah she knew intellectually that she was just increasing her own pain, the more she felt this world with these eyes, these hands, and these feet, the s like they were somebody else’s problem

Haa, she sighed, and then at the saain the room echoed with the sound of a knock on her door

Who could that be? The maids had just cleared away her dinner

“Excuse me”

Yuna startled at that voice and then her body stiffened It was the voice of the person she had just been thinking about It was Asyut

For some reason she felt aard As she tried to pick her words, Asyut opened the door and entered the room When he noticed the htly It was an expression that had no emotion

“W-What is it? Did so happen?”

“No, I wondered if you were not feeling inconvenienced fro?”

“No, I’m fine in that respect but……”

Did he come here out of his way to confirm that?

“T-Thank you very much”

“That isn’t necessary This is a part of my duties as well”

In other words, he was ily because it was his job Yuna felt a little indignant but she so

“U am I supposed to be on standby in this room?”

“I believe it will only be a little while longer”

“Ast those ere released from the Holy Jail, there are those who really hate me, aren’t there? Of course, they still haven’t settled down, huh”

“That is right”

Asyut stated that without hesitation; there was an implication that she should know, since she had the s herself

“The question is whether there is a possibility that hatred can lead to so over the all of those possibilities”

Fros of the victims but acted in a way so that the victims would not act violently Is that what he meant?

Each and every one of Asyut’s words were harsh Feeling that sharply, Yuna curled her body inwards

“And why is it just now that you’ve decided to talk about releasing everyone from the Holy Jail?”

Asyut htly doard It was a quietto himself, but it reached Yuna’s ears

“I-I…… I’ve said that I’ve lost my memories but I don’t want to close my eyes to the past”

Yuna stood up froht, this was the only thing she wanted to tell him Even if her other words didn’t reach him, she just wanted these ones to do so

Asyut, who looked surprised at Yuna’s ferocity, widened his eyes slightly While he stood there, unable to move in his confusion, she pressed on with her next words

“Rather, I want to know about s frouilty of and the results that happened because of those I know there is noon my past mistakes when I currently have no memories, but even so, I want to knoant to confront the past me”

She wanted to confront Celiastina

“The Holy Jail is one of those I went to that jail and saith these eyes The reality that I had brought about with ht……”

“I’ve said this before, that no iven”

“I know”

But, Yuna continued her words again

“Is it hopeless to wish for one ain? Of course, my sins will not disappear for et that But, bearing those sins in ht ahead, if that is possible”

If even that was not allowed then surely Celiastina would not return There would be no place where Celiastina belonged

“What are you saying… at this point…”

Asyut said evasively, as if he were being told a lie

“You took away the lives of a great many people The lives of those people won’t return noyou want to do things over again, when you’re the only one who can?”

It was painful to be told that She did think his words were true But Celiastina had ended her life once She ended her life with her own hands, so that she would not even be able to choose the choice of redoing things Still she could not die and that was because she was this world’s one and only “saint”

(That ht, Celiastina?)

A dull pain ran deep in her chest It was like there was another her as crying

It s, but at the very least she did not want to abandon Celiastina, even if she was the only one

“The saint cannot die”

At those words, Asyut raised his face as if he were taken aback

(That is why I am here The very least I could do is–)

“I want to make the people I meet from here on happy Asyut, you too”

Yuna was terribly nervous as she said this It was obvious that she would receive a strong backlash from Asyut

“Happy?”

It was the expected cold voice

“What is this happiness you speak of?”

It was a difficult question Asyut’s happiness What was it that she could do right now?

“…… For exaht? But, at this ht? So, maybe we can have a relationshi+p that is a little calether, or at the least not painful”

“In the upper class, it is an everyday occurrence to have a political e of convenience It is not necessary to find any otherthere”

“I think it’s best to have pleasant days whether you are an artistocrat or royalty”

“That would be nice, yes If that was possible, that would be the best But, even if that wasn’t doable, a e that must be done has to be done”

“Are you saying you’ve already given up? But, wait, I’ll do s, Asyut, even if it is just a little”

“No, thank you I believe such efforts will be in vain, even if you try If you really want to do so an effort not have anything to do with me”

“That’s–“

Yuna lost her words

“The e is merely for fored vows at the engagee of twenty, ill perfore cere peace That is all”

“I-I don’t like that way of thinking!”

“You hts of those who, fros are to be done for the sake of the country”

“I–“

“However, I too, cannot understand your way of thinking After having done such things, ould you think you could be open and friendly with me?”

Yuna could not object to those words Looking at him, she understood, even if she did not want too, that he was talking about soivable that had been done But what exactly did she do? She wanted to ask, but feeling Asyut’s strong rejection and how getting to the core of that was so he would definitely not allow, Yuna could only s her words

“…… I apologize I only intended to come and inquire about your circumstances”

As if uncomfortable, Asyut suddenly averted his eyes Yuna bit her lip when she saw that –He had no intention of being friends with her On the contrary, he had no intention of discussing anything with her He had no intention ofher eyes It was a complete rejection

Asyut lowered his head politely and left the room

“From the tis are to be done for the sake of the country”

Once she was alone, Yuna turned over Asyut’s words in her

The responsibility he carried on his shoulders That pressure That crushi+ng weight–

Right now, Yuna knew very well the pain of being squeezed into a stereotype One she couldn’t escape froradually beco faint and at the end she would disappear without even leaving a trace Yuna wanted someone, even just one person, to see her Not as anyone else but to look at her as “her” On one hand she was trying her best as Celiastina but, on the other, she had these feelings as well

Did Asyut cry out the same like this?

Froht and raised like that That pressure was unfathomable Perhaps even the person himself didn’t knohat he was like, stripped bare Because the ht it would be like he didn’t exist

She was sure that Asyut was excellent in nified appearance and firht that those who stood at the top should have There were even ht reached Yuna’s ears when she was still a village girl He was intelligent, he was skilled in swords well and was deeply trusted His appearance was not like that of an ordinary person But those were not just rumors Even Yuna, whose association with hireat person

But there was no way a perfect person like that existed

(Yes, it’s strange)

It would have been better if she had noticed A person should refuse and turn down things they dislike Was she a child for thinking that way? In this world, could things not be as simple as that?

Even if that were the case, she believed it rong to have to accept the unreasonable pain of doing so a woman one hated fro “I don’t want to” First, he should just try saying it And, froe

A feeling sier started to bubble and well up

Itall kinds of things to people because of her ra able to break down her situation Yes, she was just being swept away She was being sed by a violent current

However, if she gave up here and now then it would be the sa the future of the sleeping and injured Celiastina If she pushed on without giving up then maybe one day Celiastina would be able to face her past It was the same for her She wanted to be able to accept this mo was soer

–Even if, in the next mo

The following day, at tea time, a maid that Yuna had never met before appeared

“My na from today, Lady Celiastina”

“I-It’s a pleasure to meet you”

The girl called Nasha was still young, looking to be around the sae as Celiastina Due to nervousness she didn’t see an inch Up to now Yuna hadn’t had a person serving her full-ti able to make a completely new acquaintance made her happy

“Pleased to meet you too”

Yuna returned her greeting with a wide s Nasha’s eyes widen with surprise

“Nasha”

The maid beside Nasha scolded her in a low voice

“I apologize deeply, Lady Celiastina Nasha has only just started working here, so please forgive her rudeness”

“I-I apologize!”

Nasha, who see, turned pale and lowered her head Yuna hurriedly waved her hands

“There’s nothing to apologize for! Don’t be too hard on yourself, get used to it slowly, okay?”

“Y-Yes Thank you very much”

“Nasha, how long has it been since you started?”

“A week, my lady”

“Then, you’re still in theIt must be hard”

“Y-Yes”

“Are you living here while you work?”

“Y-Yes”

“I see Is your home far from here?”

“No, it is very close, my lady”

“Ah, then it’d be easy to return home That’s nice”

“Y-Yes”

…… It’s hopeless The conversation wasn’t flowing at all It felt ation Nasha see her questions with the word “yes” and so forcing anyYuna showed a sently ended their conversation

While they were doing this, the senior ed all the preparations for tea

“–Wah, such pretty pastries!”

Yuna raised her voice enthusiastically when the pastries were served They were such artful dishes that just looking at them made her content

“I wonder how theysweets?”

Upon this topic suddenly getting brought up, Nasha moved her body hastily

“U them”

It was a very clear answer

But, as if realizing her inappropriate words, Nasha turned red and looked down

“It’s fine I like eatingtoo Next tiether”

“Y-Yes Ah, no, I mean, that would be out of the question”

“…… Lady Celiastina, we apologize for taking up your precious time We shall now excuse ourselves”

As if deciding that it wouldn’t do to ruin the saint’s raceful behavior, the senior ht the cart out Nasha, the new ave a clumsy bow and followed after the other maid hurriedly

“That girl, Nasha, seems nice –I wonder if we can be friends”

While she was shut away in her room, Yuna had another unexpected visitor

The next day, the person who visited Yuna, was a person whose appearance shocked her the same way Asyut’s visit did

The priestess wearing deep purple robes, Yodel

According to Linus, she was a woman who held a top class power and authority in this country And she hated Celiastina, asn’t like a saint, and was thinking of a way so about how she would be taken advantage of if Yodel saw an opening, Yuna’s body naturally stiffened

“How are you faring, Lady Celiastina?”

Exactly like the first tiht at Yuna and pierced her She couldn’t aze

“…… Thank you for your concern I have been spending ti in any discomfort”

She returned her words cautiously Following that, Yodel suddenly showed a sarcastic smile

“That is good If that were not the case then Lord Asyut’s efforts would have gone to waste Because he had firmly told everyone in every direction to not ruin the mood of the Lady Saint, who is shut in her room”

Yuna clenched her fist The “other” that occupied a part of her heart began to feel a rage There was an extraordinarily sharp reaction against Yodel –Calm down, please calain But at this rate she didn’t feel confident in being able to face Yodel while controlling herself Yuna slowly stood up from her seat

“Y-Yodel, would you like some tea?”

She worked to keep her voice level and nonchalant

“You are going to make the tea personally?”

“I don’t knoell it will taste though”

“No, thank you, then”

Behind Yuna, as standing in front of the tea utensils, there was the presence of Yodel standing up When Yuna looked back, Yodel was staring firer – even more than before – towards her

“Let us not continue these indirect barbed greetings It is a waste of both of our tiht to the point –Lady Celiastina, why have you released everyone from the Holy Jail at this point in time? I would like to know”

Yuna reed with Asyut yesterday, and slowly turned to face Yodel

“…… I…”

She clenched her fist again This time it was to rebuke her scared self

“I saw those ere hurt with these eyes, and I wasn’t able to let that pass When I thought about what I could do for the them from the Holy Jail”

“Why are you talking as if this was someone else’s problem”

Yodel’s eyes widened as if she heard so she couldn’t believe

“You, the person who found joy in hurting others”

“…… Asyut also asked why now of all tiain”

“That’s right!”

Yodel spat that out hatefully

“It’s already too late, anything and everything You should understand if Lord Asyut also said that There is no point in sood saint!”

“No ive up It’s true that I as but I don’t believe it is too late for the future that is still to come”

“No”

That sharp voice, sharper and more pointed than a sword tip, pierced Yuna

“The blood that has flowed for your sake will continue to spread without stopping, until even the future ahead is stained You will definitely feel that soon”

At thosewords, Yuna couldn’t move

“–Excuse me”

Yodel said that coldly over her shoulder, flipping the he Yuna any time to respond She passed Nasha, theback with surprise

“Ah, sorry……, Nasha”

At Yuna’s weak voice, Nasha showed so into the room

“U-U lunch”

“Yes, please Thank you”

Yuna displayed a se she had just had with Yodel exhausted her energy terribly Even though she replied firive up, it sounded opti for her self-satisfaction–?

(I don’t know)

She felt like everything Yodel said was honest Fro herself up just a stupid and useless thing to do?