Part 21 (2/2)

After the first wave of shock had worn off I thought of GM-I realized with horror that she was in danger too. Vampires could come into our house at any time of the day or night, looking for me. And I knew they wouldn't hesitate to kill her if she got in the way.

A fresh wave of panic washed over me.

I wanted to warn GM, but I knew she'd never believe me-and why should she? She'd seen some strange things over the last few months, but she had no idea that she'd actually seen a few vampires. And I certainly didn't have any evidence to offer her that would convince her.

I let my thoughts run down this gloomy track without my seeing any solution. The longer I let my thoughts run, the more William began to crowd into them.

Soon the tears began to fall again, and I turned my face into my pillow. I didn't want GM to hear me crying.

I cried until I had no more tears left, then I was left with a deep, horrible ache.

Why would William leave me? Why would he leave without saying a word?

Why was he gone?

I lay on my bed watching the rest of the daylight fade away. And I seemed to sink into insensibility. It dulled the pain.

As shadows fell across the room, GM came in to check on me.

She turned on the light and clucked at me disapprovingly.

”You should be under the covers.”

Once she had me settled in to her satisfaction, she stood with her hands on her hips.

”Your face is still pale with red blotches. It is as I feared-you are ill, Solnyshko.”

I began to protest that I was fine, but GM waved my protestations aside.

”You need to rest tonight. If you are still ill in the morning, I will take you to see the doctor. Doctor Lundin has Sunday hours, I believe.”

I tried again to tell GM that I wasn't ill, but she interrupted me.

”I do not like the blotchiness,” she said emphatically.

Then she left me to rest until dinner.

My thoughts immediately returned to William. I felt the terrible pain returning to me-the pain of losing him, of never seeing him again-the pain of knowing that he didn't want me and that my love did not matter to him. Hurt continued to wash over me in waves.

He had abandoned me completely, without even bothering to say good-bye. I didn't even matter enough for him to tell me he was going. I sank deeper and deeper into the pain.

I wanted to be angry with him, but I found that it just wasn't possible. All I felt was sadness and a hurt so profound that I thought it would tear me apart.

The same question kept running through my mind.

Why had he left me?

Then something came to me through the haze. I still had GM to consider-I'd have to come up with a way to keep her safe. Despite my doubts about her reaction, I would have to try to warn her. And I'd have to come up with a practical way to protect the house. I made an effort to pull myself together. I had to get myself into some kind of state where I could think properly.

I figured it was nearly time for dinner, so I went to the bathroom, and I washed my face. Then I pulled a comb through my hair. Pain still surged through me, so I made an effort to compartmentalize it-to push it into one corner of my mind and build a wall around it. It was easier to shut the feeling out completely than it was to try to cope with it directly.

I made a point of going down to dinner before GM could come up to check on me.

GM gave me a disapproving look as I entered the kitchen-I imagined she thought I should have stayed in bed-but I knew I wasn't ill, and I figured that the sooner I was able to prove that to her, the better.

GM kept an eye on me as we ate, and I was sure she noticed that I didn't have much of an appet.i.te. But she didn't comment on it, and she didn't object when I helped her clear up after dinner was over.

As I loaded the dishwasher, I cast an eye over the kitchen. I wondered if there was anything that I could use in the event of a vampire attack. I knew that the bottom drawer to the left of the sink had several boxes of wooden matches-as well as a lighter that we used for our outdoor grill. I spotted a broom in a corner, and I wondered if I could wrap towels around the brush and light them-thus giving myself a makes.h.i.+ft torch with a long reach.

I figured fire would be the most effective weapon. I'd heard wooden stakes didn't always work, and they seemed like a risky option anyway-especially against an opponent who was faster with much sharper reflexes. Unfortunately, I knew from experience that both of those things were true of Joshua and Anton.

As I continued to glance around the kitchen, I remembered that GM had once had an oil lamp with a cloth wick. I wondered if I might make use of that.

”GM, do you still have that old oil lamp?”

GM blinked at me in surprise. ”Oil lamp?”

”I remember when I was about eight years old you had a lamp with green oil that you used to light in the winter.”

”Yes, yes, I remember now. I think we still have it. But I don't think we have any oil for it anymore.”

”Do you know where it is?” I asked.

GM thought for a moment. ”I believe it's in that small cupboard over the refrigerator. What made you think of that old lamp?”

”It just popped into my head, that's all,” I said.

I was disappointed to hear that we probably didn't have any oil, but I figured I might think of a use for the lamp anyway. I resolved to include it with my supplies-I would come back down after GM had gone to sleep and gather up everything I could possibly use to fend off vampires. I knew they could attack during the day, but I had a feeling that any attacks would come in the middle of the night-they did seem to be stealth hunters.

As GM wrapped up some leftovers, I thought again about warning her.

Maybe I could give her a warning about something she would understand.

”The police haven't caught Joshua Martin yet, have they?” I asked abruptly.

GM looked surprised by the sudden switch in topic. ”No, no they haven't. Does that worry you, Solnyshko?”

Of course, I knew that the police hadn't caught him, and I had a feeling that they never would. But bringing him up seemed like the best way to put GM on alert.

”It does bother me,” I admitted. ”I think he might try to come after me. GM, what would you do if he showed up here suddenly?”

”Here at our house?” GM asked incredulously.

”Yes,” I said. ”I think it could happen. And I think we need to be prepared.”

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