Volume Iv Part 3 (1/2)

_Cur._ Yes, Sir.

_Lean._ This is the Beast _Lodwick_ spoke of; how could I laugh were he design'd for any but _Lucretia!_ [Aside.

Sir _Cred._ And dost hear, ask him if he have not sold his own Dog _Diver_ with the white Ear; if I can purchase him, and my own Dog prove right, I'll be Duke of Ducking-Pond, ads zoz.

[Sir _Cred._ dresses himself.

Well, I think I shall be fine anon, he.

_Cur._ But zo, zo, Sir, as the saying is, this Suit's a little out of fas.h.i.+on, 'twas made that very year I came to your Wors.h.i.+p, which is five Winters, and as many Summers.

Sir _Cred._ What then Mun, I never wear it, but when I go to be drunk, and give my Voice for a Knight o'th' s.h.i.+re, and here at _London_ in Term time, and that but eight times in Eight Visits to Eight several Ladies to whom I was recommended.

_Cur._ I wonder that amongst eight you got not one, Sir.

Sir _Cred._ Eight! Zoz, I had Eight score, Mun; but the Devil was in 'em, they were all so forward, that before I cou'd seal and deliver, whip, quoth _Jethro_, they were either all married to some body else, or run quite away; so that I am resolv'd if this same _Lucretia_ proves not right, I'll e'en forswear this Town and all their false Wares, amongst which, zoz, I believe they vent as many false Wives as any _Metropolitan_ in Christendom, I'll say that for't, and a Fiddle for't, i'faith:--come give me my Watch out,--so, my Diamond Rings too: so, I think I shall appear pretty well all together, _Curry_, hah?

_Lean._ Like some thing monstrously ridiculous, I'll be sworn.

[Aside.

_Cur._ Here's your Purse of broad Gold, Sir, that your Grandmother gave you to go a wooing withal, I mean to shew, Sir.

Sir _Cred._ Ay, for she charg'd me never to part with it;--so, now for the Ladies.

[Shakes his Ribbons.

Enter _Lodwick_.

_Lod._ _Leander_, what mak'st thou here, like a Holy-day Fool gazing at a Monster?

_Lean._ Yes; And one I hope I have no great reason to fear.

_Lod._ I am of thy opinion; away, my Mother's coming; take this opportunity with my Sister, she's i'th' Garden, and let me alone with this Fool, for an Entertainment that shall shew him all at once: away-- [Exit _Lean._ [_Lod._ goes in to Sir _Cred._

Sir _Cred._ _Lodwick_, my dear Friend! and little Spark of Ingenuity--Zoz, Man, I'm but just come to Town.

[Embrace.

_Lod._ 'Tis a joyful hearing, Sir.

Sir _Cred._ Not so joyful neither, Sir, when you shall know poor _Gillian's_ dead, my little grey Mare; thou knew'st her, mun: Zoz, 'thas made me as melancholy as the Drone of a _Lancas.h.i.+re_ Bag-pipe. But let that pa.s.s; and now we talk of my Mare, Zoz, I long to see this Sister of thine.

_Lod._ She'll be with you presently, Sir _Credulous_.

Sir _Cred._ But hark ye, Zoz, I have been so often fob'd off in these matters, that between you and I, _Lodwick_, if I thought I shou'd not have her, Zoz, I'd ne'er lose precious time about her.

_Lod._ Right, Sir; and to say truth, these Women have so much Contradiction in 'em, that 'tis ten to one but a Man fails in the Art of pleasing.

Sir _Cred._ Why, there's it:--therefore prithee, dear _Lodwick_, tell me a few of thy Sister's Humors, and if I fail,--then hang me, Ladies, at your Door, as the Song says.

_Lod._ Why, faith, she has many odd Humors hard enough to hit.

Sir _Cred._ Zoz, let 'em be as hard as _Hercules_ his Labors in the Vale of _Ba.s.se_, I'll not be frighted from attempting her.

_Lod._ Why, she's one of those fantastick Creatures that must be courted her own way.