Volume I Part 59 (2/2)

_Blunt._ Good Lord! born an old Woman! And so by transformation became invulnerable.

_Feth._ Ay-- in-- invulnerable-- what would I give to be invulnerable?

and egad, I am almost weary of being a Man, and subject to beating: wou'd I were a Woman, a Man has but an ill time on't: if he has a mind to a Wench, the making Love is so plaguy tedious-- then paying is to my Soul insupportable. But to be a Woman, to be courted with Presents, and have both the Pleasure and the Profit-- to be without a Beard, and sing a fine Treble-- and squeak if the Men but kiss me-- 'twere fine-- and what's better, I am sure never to be beaten again.

_Blunt._ Pox on't, do not use an old Friend so scurvily; consider the Misery thou'lt indure to have the Heart and Mind of a jilting Wh.o.r.e possess thee: What a Fit of the Devil must he suffer who acts her Part from fourteen to fourscore! No,'tis resolv'd thou remain _Nicholas Fetherfool_ still, shalt marry the Monster, and laugh at Fortune.

_Feth._ 'Tis true, should I turn Wh.o.r.e to the Disgrace of my Family-- what would the World say? who wou'd have thought it, cries one? I cou'd never have believ'd it, cries another. No, as thou say'st, I'll remain as I am-- marry and live honestly.

_Blunt._ Well resolv'd, I'll leave you, for I was just going to serenade my Fairy Queen, when I met thee at the Door-- some Deeds of Gallantry must be perform'd, Seignior, _Bonus Nochus_.

[Ex. _Blunt_.

Enter _s.h.i.+ft_ with Light.

_Feth._ Hah, a Light, undone!

_Harl._ _Patientia, Patientia_, Seignior.

_s.h.i.+ft._ Where the Devil can this Rogue _Hunt_ be? Just now all things are ready for marrying these two Monsters; they wait, the House is husht, and in the lucky Minute to have him out of the way: sure the Devil owes me a spite.

[Runs against _Harlequin_, puts out his Candle.

_Harl._ _Qui est la?_

_s.h.i.+ft._ 'Tis _Harlequin_: Pox on't, is't you?

_Harl._ Peace, here's _Fetherfool_, I'll secure him, whilst you go about your Affair.

[Ex. _s.h.i.+ft_.

_Feth._ Oh, I hear a Noise, dear _Harlequin_ secure me; if I am discover'd I am undone-- hold, hold-- here's a Door-- [They both go in.

Scene changes to a Chamber, discovers the _She-Giant_ asleep in a great Chair.

Enter _Fetherfool_ and _Harlequin_.

_Feth._ Hah-- my Lady Monster! have I to avoid _Scylla_ run upon _Carybdis_?-- hah, she sleeps; now wou'd some magnanimous Lover make good Use of this Opportunity, take Fortune by the Fore-lock, put her to't, and make sure Work-- but Egad, he must have a better Heart, or a better Mistress than I.

_Harl._ Try your Strength, I'll be civil and leave you.

[In _Italian_ he still speaks.

_Feth._ Excuse me, Seignior, I should crackle like a wicker Bottle in her Arms-- no, Seignior, there's no venturing without a Grate between us: the Devil wou'd not give her due Benevolence-- No, when I'm marry'd, I'll e'en show her a fair pair of Heels, her Portion will pay Postage --But what if the Giant should carry her? that's to be fear'd, then I have c.o.c.k'd and drest, and fed, and ventur'd all this while for nothing.

_Harl._ Faith, Seignior, if I were you, I wou'd make sure of something, see how rich she is in Gems.

_Feth._ Right, as thou say'st, I ought to make sure of something, and she is rich in Gems: How amiable looks that Neck with that delicious row of Pearls about it.

_Harl._ She sleeps.

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