Volume I Part 42 (2/2)

Enter _Willmore_, _s.h.i.+ft_ goes to him.

_s.h.i.+ft._ All things are ready, Sir, for our Design, the House prepar'd as you directed me, the Guardian wrought upon by the Persuasions of the two Monsters, to take a Lodging there, and try the Bath of Reformation: The Bank's preparing, and the Operators and Musick all ready, and the impatient Town flockt together to behold the Man of Wonders, and nothing wanting but your Dons.h.i.+p and a proper Speech.

_Will._ 'Tis well, I'll go fit my self with a Dress, and think of a Speech the while: In the mean time, go you and amuse the gaping Fools that expect my coming.

[Goes out.

Enter _Fetherfool_ singing and dancing.

Feth. _Have you heard of a _Spanish_ Lady, How she woo'd an _English_ Man?_

_Blunt._ Why, how now, Fetherfool?

Feth. _Garments gay, and rich as may be, Deckt with Jewels, had she on._

_Blunt._ Why, how now, Justice, what run mad out of Dog-days?

Feth. _Of a comely Countenance and Grace is she, A sweeter Creature in the World there could not be._

_s.h.i.+ft._ Why, what the Devil's the matter, Sir?

_Blunt._ Stark mad, 'dshartlikins.

Feth. _Of a Comely Countenance_-- well, Lieutenant, the most heroick and ill.u.s.trious Madona! Thou saw'st her, _Ned_: _And of a comely Counte-- _The most Magnetick Face-- well-- I knew the Charms of these Eyes of mine were not made in vain: I was design'd for great things, that's certain-- _And a sweeter Creature in the World there could not be._

[Singing.

_Blunt._ What then the two Lady Monsters are forgotten? the Design upon the Million of Money, the Coach and Six, and Patent for Right Wors.h.i.+pful, all drown'd in the Joy of this new Mistress?-- But well, Lieutenant, since he is so well provided for, you may put in with me for a Monster; such a Jest, and such a Sum, is not to be lost.

_s.h.i.+ft._ Nor shall not, or I have lost my Aim. [Aside.

_Feth._ [Putting off his Hat.] Your Pardons, good Gentlemen; and tho I perceive I shall have no great need for so trifling a Sum as a hundred thousand Pound, or so, yet a Bargain's a Bargain, Gentlemen.

_Blunt._ Nay,'dsheartlikins, the Lieutenant scorns to do a foul thing, d'ye see, but we would not have the Monsters slighted.

_Feth._ Slighted! no, Sir, I scorn your Words, I'd have ye to know, that I have as high a Respect for Madam Monster, as any Gentleman in Christendom, and so I desire she should understand.

_Blunt._ Why, this is that that's handsom.

_s.h.i.+ft._ Well, the Mountebank's come, Lodgings are taken at his House, and the Guardian prepar'd to receive you on the aforesaid Terms, and some fifty Pistoles to the Mountebank to stand your Friend, and the Business is done. Feth. Which shall be perform'd accordingly, I have it ready about me.

_Blunt._ And here's mine, put 'em together, and let's be speedy, lest some should bribe higher, and put in before us.

[_Feth._ takes the Money, and looks pitiful on't.

_Feth._ Tis a plaguy round Sum, _Ned_, pray G.o.d it turn to Account.

_Blunt._ Account, 'dsheartlikins, 'tis not in the Power of mortal Man to cozen 'me.

_s.h.i.+ft._ Oh fie, Sir, cozen you, Sir!-- well, you'll stay here and see the Mountebank, he's coming forth.

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