Volume I Part 38 (1/2)

_Will._ Hah! cheaply purchas'd too! I languish for her.

_Beau._ Ay, there's the Devil on't, she is-- a Wh.o.r.e.

_Will._ Ah, what a charming Sound that mighty Word bears!

_Beau._ d.a.m.n her, she'll be thine or any body's.

_Will._ I die for her--

_Beau._ Then for her Qualities--

_Will._ No more-- ye G.o.ds, I ask no more, Be she but fair and much a Wh.o.r.e-- Come let's to her.

_Beau._ Perhaps to morrow you may see this Woman.

_Will._ Death,'tis an Age.

_Feth._ Oh, Captain, the strangest News, Captain.

_Will._ Prithee what?

_Feth._ Why, Lieutenant _s.h.i.+ft_ here tells us of two Monsters arriv'd from _Mexico_, Jews of vast Fortunes, with an old Jew Uncle their Guardian; they are worth a hundred thousand Pounds a piece-- Marcy upon's, why,'tis a Sum able to purchase all _Flanders_ again from his most christian Majesty.

_Will._ Ha, ha, ha, Monsters!

_Beau._ He tells you Truth, _Willmore_.

_Blunt._ But hark ye, Lieutenant, are you sure they are not married?

_Beau._ Who the Devil would venture on such formidable Ladies?

_Feth._ How, venture on 'em! by the Lord _Harry_, and that would I, tho I'm a Justice of the Peace, and they be Jews, (which to a Christian is a thousand Reasons.)

_Blunt._ Is the Devil in you to declare our Designs? [Aside.

_Feth._ Mum, as close as a Jesuit.

_Beau._ I admire your Courage, Sir, but one of them is so little, and so deform'd,'tis thought she is not capable of Marriage; and the other is so huge an overgrown Giant, no Man dares venture on her.

_Will._ Prithee let's go see 'em; what do they pay for going in?

_Feth._ Pay-- I'd have you to know they are Monsters of Quality.

_s.h.i.+ft._ And not to be seen but by particular Favour of their Guardian, whom I am got acquainted with, from the Friends.h.i.+p I have with the Merchant where they lay. The Giant, Sir, is in love with me, the Dwarf with Ensign _Hunt_, and as we manage Matters we may prove lucky.

_Beau._ And didst thou see the Show? the Elephant and the Mouse.

_s.h.i.+ft._ Yes, and pleased them wondrously with News I brought 'em of a famous Mountebank who is coming to _Madrid_, here are his Bills-- who amongst other his marvellous Cures, pretends to restore Mistakes in Nature, to new-mould a Face and Body tho never so misshapen, to exact Proportion and Beauty. This News has made me gracious to the Ladies, and I am to bring 'em word of the Arrival of this famous Empirick, and to negotiate the Business of their Reformation.

_Will._ And do they think to be restor'd to moderate sizes?