Volume I Part 31 (1/2)

_Will._ And I was e'en resolv'd to go aboard, condemn my self to my lone Cabin, and the Thoughts of thee.

_h.e.l.l._ And cou'd you have left me behind? wou'd you have been so ill-natur'd?

_Will._ Why, 'twou'd have broke my Heart, Child-- but since we are met again, I defy foul Weather to part us.

_h.e.l.l._ And wou'd you be a faithful Friend now, if a Maid shou'd trust you?

_Will._ For a Friend I cannot promise, thou art of a Form so excellent, a Face and Humour too good for cold dull Friends.h.i.+p; I am parlously afraid of being in love, Child, and you have not forgot how severely you have us'd me.

_h.e.l.l._ That's all one, such Usage you must still look for, to find out all your Haunts, to rail at you to all that love you, till I have made you love only me in your own Defence, because no body else will love.

_Will._ But hast thou no better Quality to recommend thy self by?

_h.e.l.l._ Faith none, Captain-- Why, 'twill be the greater Charity to take me for thy Mistress, I am a lone Child, a kind of Orphan Lover; and why I shou'd die a Maid, and in a Captain's Hands too, I do not understand.

_Will._ Egad, I was never claw'd away with Broad-Sides from any Female before, thou hast one Virtue I adore, good-Nature; I hate a coy demure Mistress, she's as troublesome as a Colt, I'll break none; no, give me a mad Mistress when mew'd, and in flying on[e] I dare trust upon the Wing, that whilst she's kind will come to the Lure.

_h.e.l.l._ Nay, as kind as you will, good Captain, whilst it lasts, but let's lose no time.

_Will._ My time's as precious to me, as thine can be; therefore, dear Creature, since we are so well agreed, let's retire to my Chamber, and if ever thou were treated with such savory Love-- Come-- My Bed's prepar'd for such a Guest, all clean and sweet as thy fair self; I love to steal a Dish and a Bottle with a Friend, and hate long Graces-- Come, let's retire and fall to.

_h.e.l.l._ 'Tis but getting my Consent, and the Business is soon done; let but old Gaffer _Hymen_ and his Priest say Amen to't, and I dare lay my Mother's Daughter by as proper a Fellow as your Father's Son, without fear or blus.h.i.+ng.

_Will._ Hold, hold, no Bugg Words, Child, Priest and _Hymen_: prithee add Hangman to 'em to make up the Consort-- No, no, we'll have no Vows but Love, Child, nor Witness but the Lover; the kind Diety injoins naught but love and enjoy. _Hymen_ and Priest wait still upon Portion, and Joynture; Love and Beauty have their own Ceremonies. Marriage is as certain a Bane to Love, as lending Money is to Friends.h.i.+p: I'll neither ask nor give a Vow, tho I could be content to turn Gipsy, and become a Left-hand Bridegroom, to have the Pleasure of working that great Miracle of making a Maid a Mother, if you durst venture; 'tis upse Gipsy that, and if I miss, I'll lose my Labour.

_h.e.l.l._ And if you do not lose, what shall I get? A Cradle full of Noise and Mischief, with a Pack of Repentance at my Back? Can you teach me to weave Incle to pa.s.s my time with? 'Tis upse Gipsy that too.

_Will._ I can teach thee to weave a true Love's Knot better.

_h.e.l.l._ So can my Dog.

_Will._ Well, I see we are both upon our Guard, and I see there's no way to conquer good Nature, but by yielding-- here-- give me thy Hand-- one Kiss and I am thine--

_h.e.l.l._ One Kiss! How like my Page he speaks; I am resolv'd you shall have none, for asking such a sneaking Sum-- He that will be satisfied with one Kiss, will never die of that Longing; good Friend single-Kiss, is all your talking come to this? A Kiss, a Caudle! farewel, Captain single-Kiss.

[Going out he stays her.

_Will._ Nay, if we part so, let me die like a Bird upon a Bough, at the Sheriff's Charge. By Heaven, both the _Indies_ shall not buy thee from me. I adore thy Humour and will marry thee, and we are so of one Humour, it must be a Bargain-- give me thy Hand-- [Kisses her hand.] And now let the blind ones (Love and Fortune) do their worst.

_h.e.l.l._ Why, G.o.d-a-mercy, Captain!

_Will._ But harkye-- The Bargain is now made; but is it not fit we should know each other's Names? That when we have Reason to curse one another hereafter, and People ask me who 'tis I give to the Devil, I may at least be able to tell what Family you came of.

_h.e.l.l._ Good reason, Captain; and where I have cause, (as I doubt not but I shall have plentiful) that I may know at whom to throw my-- Blessings-- I beseech ye your Name.

_Will._ I am call'd _Robert the Constant_.

_h.e.l.l._ A very fine Name! pray was it your Faulkner or Butler that christen'd you? Do they not use to whistle when then call you?

_Will._ I hope you have a better, that a Man may name without crossing himself, you are so merry with mine.

_h.e.l.l._ I am call'd _h.e.l.lena the Inconstant_.