Part 18 (1/2)

”You're right, my boy; hould up your head, And look like a jintleman, Sir; Sir Isaac Newton--who was he?

Now tell me if you can, Sir.”

”Sir Isaac Newton was the boy That climbed the apple-tree, Sir; He then fell down and broke his crown, And lost his gravity, Sir.”

”You're right, my boy; hould up your head, And look like a jintleman, Sir; Jist tell me who ould Marmion was-- Now tell me if you can, Sir.”

”Ould Marmion was a soldier bold, But he went all to pot, Sir; He was hanged upon the gallows tree, For killing Sir Walter Scott, Sir.”

”You're right, my boy; hould up your head, And look like a jintleman, Sir; Jist tell me who Sir Rob Roy was; Now tell me if you can, Sir.”

”Sir Rob Roy was a tailor to The King of the Cannibal Islands; He spoiled a pair of breeches, and Was banished to the Highlands.”

”You're right, my boy; hould up your head, And look like a jintleman, Sir; Then, Bonaparte--say, who was he?

Now tell me if you can, Sir.”

”Ould Bonaparte was King of France Before the Revolution; But he was kilt at Waterloo, Which ruined his const.i.tution.”

”You're right, my boy; hould up your head, And look like a jintleman, Sir; Jist tell me who King Jonah was; Now tell me if you can, Sir.”

”King Jonah was the strangest man That ever wore a crown, Sir; For though the whale did swallow him, It couldn't keep him down, Sir.”

”You're right, my boy; hould up your head, And look like a jintleman, Sir; Jist tell me who that Moses was; Now tell me if you can, Sir.”

”Shure Moses was the Christian name Of good King Pharaoh's daughter; She was a milkmaid, and she took A _profit_ from the water.”

”You're right, my boy; hould up your head, And look like a jintleman, Sir; Jist tell me now where Dublin is; Now tell me if you can, Sir.”

”Och, Dublin is a town in Cork, And built on the equator; It's close to Mount Vesuvius, And watered by the 'craythur.'”

”You're right, my boy; hould up your head, And look like a jintleman, Sir; Jist tell me now where London is; Now tell me if you can, Sir.”

”Och, London is a town in Spain; 'Twas lost in the earthquake, Sir; The c.o.c.kneys murther English there, Whenever they do spake, Sir.”

”You're right, my boy; hould up your head, Ye're now a jintleman, Sir; For in history and geography I've taught you all I can, Sir.

And if any one should ask you now, Where you got all your knowledge, Jist tell them 'twas from Paddy Blake, Of Bally Blarney College.”

_James A. Sidey._

REFLECTIONS ON CLEOPATHERA'S NEEDLE

So that's Cleopathera's Needle, bedad, An' a quare lookin' needle it is, I'll be bound; What a powerful muscle the queen must have had That could grasp such a weapon an' wind it around!

Imagine her sittin' there st.i.tchin' like mad Wid a needle like that in her hand! I declare It's as big as the Round Tower of Slane, an', bedad, It would pa.s.s for a round tower, only it's square!

The taste of her, ordherin' a needle of granite!

Begorra, the sight of it sthrikes me quite dumb!