Part 12 (1/2)

”I left crazy back home. I sure as h.e.l.l have no interest in your St. Barth's drama,” Red had blasted.

The memory of her as she walked away caused him to shudder. He'd given Red his number, slipped his business card in her handbag. Red never called. Why not-he'd asked himself on many occasions. He considered himself stupid to dwell on this a second longer. Warner wasn't religious but he thought about the Biblical proverb, ”For wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with her.” G.o.d aside, his head required a new screw to put it back on tight.

”Monsieur Warner, they issued a tracking number for this ticket item.” Brigitte stepped forward, placing the note on the counter and then returning to her stance in the hallway.

”Merci.” He didn't want what just happened to circulate amongst his staff. Especially if Brigitte gossiped about Truman Enterprises' CEO whacking off in the treatment room. He hoped to change the subject and her mindset before he left. ”What are your plans this summer while the resort hibernates?”

Her face warmed up. ”A few of us from the spa are going to Hotel du France on a spa mobile tour for beaute treatments.”

”I'll be in Cannes for the festival as well. I hope to see you.” Although he found the Cannes beaches too celebrity-centric, Warner always enjoyed his time in France.

Hotel du France remained Truman Enterprises' most profitable property. How? The rooms were always filled to capacity during the Cannes Film Festival by corporate event sponsors.

”Did you want your ma.s.sage, Monsieur?” She stepped into the room, hopefully putting his recent ”door locked, beating off” session behind her.

”My back is better. I've changed my mind, thank you though.” He needed a cold shower.

”I'll leave you be to get dressed. See you in Cannes, Monsieur Warner.” Brigitte closed the door on her way out.

”Au revoir.” Warner wondered if he'd ever see Red again. He took the ticket off the counter. It read, ”Barth/Red/Dec30/Vajazz.”

Who are you, Mademoiselle Red?

Chapter Ten.

Judith Leiber's Clutch May 17 Times Square, New York, NY This blows serious chunks.

Like all the others that year, Taddy's week rolled over into one big blur filled with work. Her elliptical grew dusty. Every night, she intended to leave the office early and attend Gilad's Pilates cla.s.s but never made it on time. She'd also no-showed two Botox parties hosted by Dr. Fa.s.senbender.

There were only two men she'd seen on a regular basis.

The first was her San Juan beefcake chauffer, Jose del Torro. In a fire-engine-red Cadillac Escalade with her firm's slogan, ”Get fame, get glam, get Brill, Inc.”, detailing the doors, Jose drove Taddy wherever she needed. From her downtown meeting in the financial district with her clients' investors to the garment district to help select designs and patterns for her fas.h.i.+on brands, Jose was there.

Jose had a wife and five kids. They were ages eight, five, four, two and a six-month-old. The del Torros lived in the Bronx. Jose's being married certainly made him off-limits as a romantic interest. Taddy hadn't a clue when she hired him. This oversight became evident one Sunday afternoon when Mrs. del Torro knocked on her penthouse door-uninvited.

c.r.a.p! ”Mrs. del Torro, how nice to meet you.” Taddy welcomed her into her home wearing her usual work-from-home weekend attire, a cinnamon and ivory Carine Gilson lace-appliqued silk-crepe chemise.

”Hola. Is Mrs. Brill here?” She looked her over as if she'd popped a tart.

”I'm Miss Brill.”

”You are who my husband is driving around town?” The shock on Mrs. del Torro's face over Taddy's youth and beauty became evident as she confirmed it was her. The woman almost dropped the covered dish entree in her hands. Perhaps she expected a Miss Daisy or a Leona Helmsley type to chauffeur instead of a Miss Brill.

”What smells so good?” Taddy's stomach growled with hunger. Her butler had just quit.

”Shrimp paella, I made it to celebrate my husband's new job with you.” Jose's wife set the plate on the nearby table and extended a hug. As her welcoming Puerto Rican arms wrapped around Taddy in a tight grip-one heading toward a headlock-she threatened in Taddy's ear, ”Touch my Jose and I'll kill you.”

Seeking a quick reply to get this b.i.t.c.h out of her apartment, she thought about Kiki and how her a.s.sistant would handle such crises. ”Thank you for coming by, Mrs. del Torro. If you'll excuse me, I have to get ready for...uh...church now.” She bolted for the door, hoping this woman would take a hint. ”Yes, Jesus is waiting.”

”Where do you wors.h.i.+p, Miss Brill?” Jose's wife asked with suspicion, her gold cross hanging from her neck. It appeared heavy against her cleavage, matching her oversized hoop earrings and gold rings, which adorned every finger. Even Mrs. del Torro's left fingernail was jeweled in a s.h.i.+ny dangling loop.

”Ummm.”

”Where?”

”I attend...” What the h.e.l.l is Kiki's church called? ”I go to Save the b.l.o.o.d.y Mary. Yup that's it,” Taddy lied. She opened the door and pushed the elevator door for her. ”Bye now and hugs to your kids.” Waving her off, she went back inside, locked her doors and spent the day watching her favorite movie My Man G.o.dfrey.

At Taddy's request, Kiki researched Jose's wife and confirmed her NYPD rap sheet. Arrested several times for a.s.saulting other women, Mrs. del Torro scared the s.h.i.+t out of Taddy. She did fantasize about Jose's tool a few times, but she wasn't a home wrecker, let alone stupid. His wife was placed on Taddy's do-not-ever-let-this-crazy-freak-up-to-my-penthouse list with her building's doormen.

Kiki wanted to have Jose terminated. But Taddy thought about his kids and how respectable it was that he was driving her around town in order to provide for his family. So she kept him on salary.

The second man in her life was her new replacement butler, Moscow-imported Dima Revva. Close to the William Powell character in the film My Man G.o.dfrey, he took great domestic care with Taddy's household needs. The s.h.i.+h Tzus loved the butler as he made them doggie stew. In addition, Dima's thick Soviet accent and square features turned her lower lips out. She appreciated his talents for was.h.i.+ng her whites and didn't want to mix his business with her pleasure by letting him lick her c.l.i.toris. The last time she'd tried to sleep with her domestic staff they'd sued her for s.e.xual hara.s.sment.

Men aside, she missed her friends too. Several cancelled lunches, dinners gone cold and spa appointments overlooked, too busy. Hanging with Lex and Vive had been reduced to text messaging. Lex's Easton Essentials became the ”it” fas.h.i.+on house. This week Vive was jetting to Chicago to host a Debauchery-sponsored shopping week on Michigan Avenue. Kiki, her a.s.sistant, also went AWOL. Since being tasked with shooting photos for Neve Adele's lifestyle line, she hadn't come back to the office.

Taddy grabbed the green Excedrin bottle from her desk and unscrewed the lid. She popped six white tablets into her mouth then downed them with a gulp of Bull Energy.

Her a.s.sistant sat a huge box next to her desk labeled ”Kiki's Accessories”. Shaking her head in protest, Kiki argued, ”Those energy beverages aren't good for you.” She attempted to take it away from her. ”I've never seen you drink them.”

”Kiki, darling, it's the only way I can get all this work done. We have the Candy Land Ball coming up soon.”

”There's too much to do. I feel bad for going on vacation.”

”Don't be silly.” Taddy took another swig. ”I didn't hear from you this week, you okay?” She sat back in her chair, admiring Kiki's outfit. A cream-colored sundress from Carolina Herrera's spring collection, circa two years ago, it showed off Kiki's legs. It was Taddy's, taken from her closet. She didn't mind. ”I thought Port Authority stopped allowing New Jersey citizens into Manhattan.”

”Funny, Miss Brill, I came straight from your apartment. Three days nonstop, but I finished the inspiration boards.”

”Did you eat? You look gaunt.”

”Your butler fed me. He's nice.”

”Dima is a fierce cleaner and my laundry is always perfect. But his kitchen skills are horrific. You ate his cooking, huh?”

”Your butler uses a communist nutrition book when he cooks.”

”What on earth did he make for you?”

”Holodets.”

”Is that some fish that only swims in the Azov Sea?”

”No. It's minced meat. Dima also served me a plate of-beef tongue.”

”Yuk. No wonder you appear to have lost weight.” Taddy was embarra.s.sed by her butler serving Kiki such nastiness.