Part 4 (1/2)

I know that I was much abused, No doubt when I was young and rash, But I should not have been accused Of misappropriating cash.

I may have sneaked a silver dish;-- Well, you may search me if you wis.h.!.+

So, now you see me, more or less, As I would figure in your thoughts; A trifle given to excess And p.r.o.ne perhaps to vice of sorts; When tempted, rather apt to fall, But still--a good chap after all!

[Ill.u.s.tration]

The Cat

(_Advice to the Young_)

My children, you should imitate The harmless, necessary cat, Who eats whatever's on his plate, And doesn't even leave the fat; Who never stays in bed too late, Or does immoral things like that; Instead of saying ”Shan't!” or ”Bos.h.!.+”

He'll sit and wash, and wash, and was.h.!.+

When shadows fall and lights grow dim He sits beneath the kitchen stair; Regardless as to life and limb, A simple couch he chooses there; And if you tumble over him, He simply loves to hear you swear.

And, while bad language _you_ prefer, He'll sit and purr, and purr, and purr!

[Ill.u.s.tration: _The Cat._]

The Children's ”Don't”

_DON'T_ tell Papa his nose is red As any rosebud or geranium, Forbear to eye his hairless head Or criticise his cootlike cranium; 'Tis years of sorrow and of care Have made his head come through his hair.

_Don't_ give your endless guinea-pig (Wherein that animal may build a Sufficient nest) the Sunday wig Of poor, dear, dull, deaf Aunt Matilda.

Oh, _don't_ tie strings across her path, Or empty beetles in her bath!

_Don't_ ask your uncle why he's fat; Avoid upon his toe-joints treading; _Don't_ hide a hedgehog in his hat, Or bury bushes in his bedding.

He will not see the slightest sport In pepper put into his port!

_Don't_ pull away the cherished chair On which Mamma intended sitting, Nor yet prepare her session there By setting on the seat her knitting; Pause ere you hurt her spine, I pray-- That is a game that _two_ can play.

My children, never, never steal!

To know their offspring is a thief Will often make a father feel Annoyed and cause a mother grief; So never steal, but, when you do, Be sure there's no one watching you.