Part 2 (1/2)

JOHN, who rode his Dunlop tire O'er the head of sweet Maria, When she writhed in frightful pain, Had to blow it out again.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

Misfortunes Never Come Singly

MAKING toast at the fireside, Nurse fell in the grate and died; And, what makes it ten times worse, All the toast was burned _with_ nurse.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

The Perils of Obesity

YESTERDAY my gun exploded When I thought it wasn't loaded; Near my wife I pressed the trigger, Chipped a fragment off her figure; 'Course I'm sorry, and all that, But she shouldn't be so fat.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

[Ill.u.s.tration:

”_Now, although the room grows chilly, I haven't the heart to poke poor Billy._”]

Tender-Heartedness

BILLY, in one of his nice new sashes, Fell in the fire and was burnt to ashes; Now, although the room grows chilly, I haven't the heart to poke poor Billy.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

Jim; or, the Deferred Luncheon Party

WHEN the line he tried to cross, The express ran into Jim; Bitterly I mourn his loss-- I was to have lunched with him.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

Appreciation