Part 66 (1/2)

I shake my head. ”h.e.l.l no.”

”Yeah.”

”Do you still love him?” I ask, looking over at her, and she nods slowly.

”Unfortunately.” I give her a small smile and she shrugs. ”Love sucks.”

”It can,” I agree as I get my guitar and bring it into my lap.

”Not for you, though,” she says with a grin and I smile.

”Nope. I got lucky.”

”You did.”

Nodding to my guitar, I ask, ”Will I bother you?”

She shakes her head. ”Not at all. I welcome it.”

I smile and then I start to play my song for my baby. Mekena doesn't know. No one does yet, but that doesn't stop me from singing this song.

I hear your heartbeat inside me.

So strong.

So fast.

How can I love you?

When I haven't even met you.

There are no words.

Just the sound Of your heartbeat.

And I'm complete.

When my phone sounds, I stop playing and get up to get it out of my bag. Sitting back down, I hit the home b.u.t.ton to see its Jace.

Jace: Thank you.

Jace: He told me you called him. I needed to talk to him.

Me: I know, you're welcome.

Jace: Want to meet at the housing office after your first cla.s.s?

Me: Yeah, 9:20?

Jace: Sounds good. I'll come right from practice.

Me: Cool. Do you feel better?

Jace: Loads. I have a plan that will work.

Me: Good.

Jace: Have I told you I love you today?

Me: Yeah, but it doesn't get old.

Jace: I love you, Avery. So much.

Me: I love you too.

I'm late and I totally blame Lucy.

My sister is an awesome designer, but c.r.a.p, she is slow as h.e.l.l. Rus.h.i.+ng through traffic, the tarp that is covering the back pa.s.senger window flaps and I roll my eyes. Stupid car window wouldn't roll up, but I wouldn't have this car if it weren't for Jude, so I'll take what I can get because Avery and I need separate cars. That girl is busy going downtown for her interns.h.i.+p, and I'm working more, along with killing myself on the ice.

But I have to.

Because I never want Avery to worry about anything ever again. I know she said she can handle it, and she probably can, but why should she? It's been three weeks since my dad f.u.c.ked me over and Jude called to help. As much as I didn't want to ask for help, I hadn't realized how much I needed it until he called. All because of Avery. That girl loves me, and man, I love her. So I have to make her proud. I have to give her everything she wants and needs. Once I sign my contract, and Ralph better hope it's big, everything will fall into place.

But even right now, as I rush through traffic in a clunker of a car, I'm happy. Our right now is good. We are both working hard, we finally have a place, and now we shouldn't have to worry about anything else. Well, her parents and douche brother are coming into town, but I have a good feeling about her dad. He's been texting her, checking on her, and actually trying. Which has been nice. I don't miss the smile that comes over her face when he texts, but I also don't miss the way she yearns for her mother. She's been calling mine a lot, and Lucy. Those women are three peas in a pod and I love it.

But I know she wants her mom.

It kills me, it really does, but what can I do? I don't even know these people, but I want to help.

I want her to be happy.

And I think she will be when she sees the apartment. Parking my car beside hers, I get out and run inside the coffee shop. She must have been watching the door because when I enter, she smiles as she hits the top of her loop pedal and a sick-a.s.s beat drops. Grinning, I maneuver around the tables to my table in the front. I sit down and she closes her eyes as she sings, her face breaking into a grin as she hits notes that are just mind-blowing.

A part of me wishes she would pursue the singing part. I love her voice, but her anxiety has gotten worse. She's stopped going to her downtown gigs three times a week. She only goes once a week now, and I told her it was a bad idea since a lot of music people hang out downtown. But she says it freaks her out. It scares me that her anxiety is getting worse, but she showed me an article that said it could happen with the extra hormones that are running through her body. She's been on top of it, though, and I'm thankful for that.

Because I can't f.u.c.king lose her.

I just can't.

When the song ends, I look up and grin as she changes the tempo with a hit of her foot. A fast beat starts very softly in the background. I know that beat, it's ingrained in my head and I'll never forget it. With her eyes on me, she starts the chords to what I know is our baby's song, ”Heartbeat.” While my song was my favorite before, this one just hits me straight in the gut. It's perfect and the words... Jesus, they are just awe-inspiring.

As her eyes close and she sings, her voice making the song a billion times better, I watch her. I can't believe that is my wife. The rest of my existence. I can't see my baby, the little b.u.mp that grows every day, but I don't need to see it to know it's there.

His eyes.

My smile.

What will you have?

Will you ever realize how much we love you?