Part 64 (2/2)
”Um, my trust fund would have been nice,” he corrects, but I shake my head. ”It was just an idea. It's fine.”
”No. You're losing your s.h.i.+t, Jace. You aren't sleeping, you're constantly worried, and I don't know why you won't lean on me a bit. That's what I'm here for.”
”No, I'm supposed to be your rock, not the other way around.”
Flabbergasted, I throw my hands up. ”Um, dumba.s.s, we are supposed to be each other's rock! You are trying to do it all. Let me help. Do you want me to get a better-paying job? I will.”
”h.e.l.l no. You focus on your songwriting. I got this.”
”If you say you got this one more f.u.c.king time, I swear, Jace, I will cut you. I'll cut off your d.i.c.k. Straight off.”
He scoffs and shakes his head. ”Calm down.”
”Calm down?”
”Yes, you're overreacting. It's fine.”
”It's not fine! The last month has been h.e.l.l, you are a mess, you are worried about me constantly, and in return, you are making me worried.”
He sets me with a look. ”No, you don't worry. That's my job.”
”Let it be mine too. Together. We are supposed to do this together.”
He doesn't say anything, only shakes his head once more before pulling into his parking spot at the Bullies' house. I clear my throat. ”I know you think you can handle everything, but that isn't fair. I don't know how many times I gotta tell you this is a partners.h.i.+p, but I will till I'm blue in the d.a.m.n face,” I yell and he leans his head back. ”Are you even hearing me right now?” I ask, tears stinging my eyes. ”I just want to alleviate some of the stress.”
”I can't let you,” he roars and I cower toward the door as he sits up, demanding my attention. ”Avery, I can't let you because I don't know if you can handle it. Do you know what it would do to me if you started cutting again? Or if one day you just decided you wanted to die because it is all too much to handle? I can't f.u.c.king do it.”
My jaw drops and my heart just stops. ”Jace...”
”No. It kills me inside. I can't ever let you get to that place. I will take on everything, fight every single one of the battles alone, as long as you are happy and feel loved. I don't want you to feel alone, I don't want to you worry, I don't want you to think I don't have this, because I do. Even though some days I'm pretty sure I don't. But I can't tell you that because I'm scared... I'm so f.u.c.king scared I'll fail you.” He stops, sucking in a breath, moving his hands through his hair and then down his face as my heart just aches for him. He's been dealing with so much, but he didn't reach for me.
”I sit up at night, praying I do right by you, that I don't get hurt so I can give you and our child the life y'all deserve. Yeah, it's been sucking, but I won't fail you, Avery. I just f.u.c.king won't. So yeah, I'm not asking you for help, but it's not 'cause I can't use it, I could. But I love you too much to let you. I need you to be healthy and happy. I can do it all. I know I can.”
Reaching out, I take his hands in mine and squeeze. ”But you don't have to,” I stress. ”Jace, I'm fine. I've never been happier, and yeah, I have a s.h.i.+tty past of being weak. But don't you get that since I met you, I'm not that girl anymore? I don't even think about it, I don't even crave it, I love my life too much to ever end it, baby.”
”But if it gets bad, if you start to hate it-”
”I won't,” I say, my lips curving up. ”Not when you're in it.”
He drops his head, shaking it as he sucks in a breath. ”I just want to make you happy.”
”You do, Jace,” I whisper, lifting his head so I can look into his sorrow-filled eyes. ”But you gotta let me help. We can do this together. Let me take some of the stress. We can figure it out. Together. No more battles fought alone, only together.”
He holds my gaze, his lips trembling, and he slowly nods. ”Okay. I'm sorr-”
”Don't you dare. What are you apologizing for? Loving me? No, don't you dare.”
The side of his mouth quirks up as he cups my face. ”I love you, Avery Sinclair.”
”I love you too,” I whisper as my mouth presses to his. Closing my eyes tightly, I can't believe this man is my husband. This big, thick-headed, headstrong man is my everything. And while he's frustrating as h.e.l.l, he has a heart of gold. Parting, I gaze into his eyes and I shrug. ”So we wait for something to open up here.”
His grin falls as he shrugs. ”Coach said you can't stay over more than twice a week. Someone complained.”
My heart sinks. ”Then you can stay with me if you have to, but we can sleep apart.”
”I don't want to.”
”I don't either, but I won't have you looking bad in front of your team or getting in trouble.”
He nods. ”We'll figure it out.”
”We will. Together.”
He sucks in a breath and lets it out. ”Together.”
Leaning his head to mine, he kisses my nose and my eyes drift shut, so in love with this man. I'm not even worried or scared. Yeah, it will suck to sleep apart, but we will be okay.
When a tap comes to the window, we both look over to see a cop standing next to the door. ”What the f.u.c.k?” he asks as he rolls down the window. ”Officer?”
”Are you Jace Sinclair?”
My heart jumps into my throat, because I'm sure this cop doesn't want an autograph from the number one prospected draftee.
”Yes, sir.”
”I'm gonna have to ask you and your friend to get out of the car. Clear it out. It's being repossessed.”
Jace's brows crash together. ”Repossessed? My dad got me this car.”
The cop nods and shrugs. ”I know, son. He's the one repossessing it.”
When Jace looks at me, all I can do is shake my head as I cover my mouth.
That son of a b.i.t.c.h.
”Who the f.u.c.k does that to their kid?” Markus barks as he paces the room. Moving my hand up and down Jace's back, l close my eyes as I lean against his arm. I am trying to hold back my tears, but it's so hard. It was just so sad watching him take everything out of his car and hand the keys over, the look of pure defeat in his eyes.
”An a.s.shole,” Jace bites out, his body trembling with anger. I've never seen him this angry, and I don't know what to do but hold him. But really, who does this? Yeah, don't get me wrong, we were rude to him. But you don't take something from someone that you gave to them. ”It's my fault. I should have had him put it in my name.”
He groans, dropping his face into his hands, and my heart aches.
”This is insane, dude. I'm sorry.”
Jace shrugs. ”What's done is done.”
”If you need my car, you got it.”
<script>