Part 55 (2/2)

And then can I even guarantee it will work?

f.u.c.k.

This is too much.

When she stirs against me, rolling onto her back, I look over at her. I can't help it, I smile. She's knocked the h.e.l.l out, probably from crying most of the night. Her lips are parted, drool sliding down the side of her mouth. She's so beautiful, and as I stare at her, I know she would make a great mom. Yeah, she comes from c.r.a.p, but she would never treat her children like that. I've seen her firsthand with Angie. I know, but does she? Doesn't she realize she could be the best mom in the world?

Abortion is not the answer for us.

But how do I tell her that?

I close my eyes, my lip trembling as my hand slides onto her flat stomach. I can't feel anything. I mean, how could I? But one day I would be able to, because my baby is in there. When I look to where my hand rests, the tears start to fall because I'm supposed to stand back and let this happen. Sliding down the bed, I rest my head on her chest, and her hands come up to hold me instinctively. Looking at where her belly lies so flat, I choke back a sob and close my eyes. If this was the right thing to do, wouldn't it feel like it? Wouldn't I know? Because what I feel, what I know, is that I want to hold this baby. I don't think I can stand back and let her do this.

This may be her body, but this is my baby too.

And I can't let this happen.

But how do I tell her that?

Earlier, I just stared at her. Cried, frozen and speechless as she looked at me, wanting something other than what I could give her. I froze, my bad, but d.a.m.n it, this isn't right.

Right?

I'm suffocating.

I need to know I'm not insane.

That I can make this work.

I don't even really realize what I'm doing until I get up, climbing out of the bed and sliding my feet into my shoes as I throw on a hoodie. Opening the door, hoping I don't wake Markus or Avery, I shut it and then shoot up the stairs and out into the cold air. Sucking in a deep breath, I look up at the sky and shake my head.

And I know what I have to do.

Soon, I'm full out running to my car, ignoring the burn in my chest or the way my shoes are rubbing on the backs of my ankles.

By the time I pull into my mom's driveway, I realize I didn't think this through. The house is pitch black. I really don't want to wake anyone, but I need to talk to my sister. She'll tell it the way it is. My mom will sugarcoat it, Jude and Jayden will freak, and my dad, um, no. Lucy, though, she'll give me the truth even if I don't like it. I just hope the truth is what I'm thinking because I think I've got my mind set.

Parking behind her car, I jump out and walk around the house, dialing her number. ”Jace?” she answers sleepily. ”What's wrong?”

”Hey, open your window.”

”Huh?”

I knock on her window. ”Open your window.”

”What the h.e.l.l-”

I hear her moving around and then see the light come on before the blinds go up and she's looking at me, confused. Hitting the latch, she pushes the window open and looks at me incredulously. ”It's five in the morning.”

I nod. ”I need to talk to you.”

”Now?”

”Yes.”

”It's my only time to sleep,” she whines as I climb over the ledge, but then she eyes me. ”Are you crying? I thought you said you and Avery are good?” she whispers and I nod.

”We are.” I swallow around the lump in my throat. That's for sure. Everything else is a little spotty, but she and I, we are good. ”She's pregnant.”

Lucy pauses. Her eyes widen, her body jerks in surprise, and her mouth drops open as she holds my gaze. She slowly covers her mouth, her eyes falling shut as she shakes her head. ”Oh, Jace, I thought you knew better. Wrap it up, dude.”

”We did. Every time,” I say slowly, my heart still not beating right. ”When you're this amazing, your boys break condoms.”

She balks and I try for a smile, but then I just shake my head. I'm lame. ”Thank you for that image, Jace.”

”Anytime.” Silence falls between us as she walks to her bed, sitting down before patting the spot beside her.

”So because you are here at five a.m., I'm sure you are freaking out?”

”I am,” I whisper, and when my mouth starts to tremble, I look over at her. ”She wants to get an abortion.”

Her eyes widen again as she sucks in a breath. ”What?”

”Yeah.” I hold my face in my hands as my elbows dig into my knees. ”Lucy, I don't want that.” She scoots over, her hand moving up and down my back as the other lays flat against my hands. ”But I don't know how to tell her that. She's so determined, and I think she thinks it's the only option. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to tell her not to, that we can do this. She was crying, explaining why. She was so sure, but I don't want to. I want to keep it.”

”Oh, Jace,” she whispers, holding me close. ”Are you sure? There is another option. I know plenty of people who would love to adopt a baby.”

”No. I want my baby,” I say sternly.

She nods. ”Okay, so why didn't you tell her that?”

”I couldn't speak, and she'd already made the appointment for today before she even told me.”

”Jesus Christ, are you serious?”

”Yeah, I'm telling you, it was insane. I was so overwhelmed.”

”So ask her to cancel it.”

”But it's not my body,” I stress, and she gives me a dirty look.

”Who the f.u.c.k cares? It's your baby too.”

I try to look up at her, but my tears make her blurry. ”That doesn't matter. It's her body. Who am I to ask her not to?”

”The father, who wants his child. I really don't think she wants this. She loves kids. Are you sure? Did she say, 'I want an abortion'?”

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