Part 49 (1/2)

”f.u.c.k you,” I scream, taking a step toward him. ”You are a worthless piece of s.h.i.+t who will never amount to anything 'cause you take pride in hurting other people.”

He scoffs. ”You are the only one I don't care about, Avery. I mean, how could I? When all you do is beg for attention instead of shutting your f.u.c.king mouth.”

Turning to my parents, I hold my hand out to my brothers. ”Do you see this? Do you see how they treat me, and yet you do nothing,” I yell and Matty laughs.

”Why would they? All you do is b.i.t.c.h and moan. 'No one loves me.' 'All you care about is hockey.' Me, me, me. All you care about is yourself. You're the selfish, poor excuse for a human.”

I glare, my heart pounding in my ears. I swear to G.o.d, I have no clue who this person is. Family isn't supposed to do this to you. Especially the person you shared a womb with. ”Why do you even talk to me, Matty?”

”Believe me, I don't want to.”

”Then I'm gone. All of you, I'm gone. You'll never ever have to deal with me again,” I sneer as I back away, looking at each of the faces of the people who are my so-called family.

”Now, Avery, calm down. There is no reason to act like this,” my dad says, but I shake my head.

”Are you coming to my showcase in March?”

He pauses and looks to my mom for help, but she shrugs. ”Now, Avery, you know that I can't get away easily...”

”So that's a no.”

”Well, let me see what I can do-”

”But you got time off for Matty's and Laurence's first games. For Seth's game in Jersey. But you can't get off for something that's in five months? Can't move your schedule around?”

”Avery, that's different. I have to know the talent coming up.”

”No, it's 'cause I don't matter to anyone in this house. I'm just a f.u.c.king problem. Someone who is always in the way.”

”That's not true,” my mom says, taking a step toward me. ”Honey, we love you.”

”Yeah, maybe you love me, but you sure as h.e.l.l don't care about me. That's fine. I'm done with this family.”

With that, I turn to walk away, just as Matty says, ”Oh, there she goes, attention-seeking Avery throwing a fit 'cause no one is up her a.s.s.”

Turning around, I bite out, ”f.u.c.k off.”

”Don't you see why you are treated the way you are? Because you're pathetic. No one cares. h.e.l.l, half of us don't even love you.”

”Matthew,” my parents exclaim, but Matty doesn't care, he just glares.

”So please, don't lie to us. Keep your promise.”

”Why don't you just shut the f.u.c.k up?”

”Make me.”

I really don't know what gets into me. I don't even know what is happening, but then I'm across the room, slamming my fist into his chest. But he's so much bigger than me and he just swats me away. Hard. I lose my footing, slamming my face into the counter. Then I'm on the floor, and his laughter is filling the room as my mom rushes to me.

”Honey!”

Smacking her hands away, I sit up, the tears burning my eyes, pain throbbing along my nose, and blood dripping down my lips. Narrowing my eyes at Matty, I say, ”I hate you.”

”Same here, sweetheart,” he says with a wink.

My body is shaking with anger as I get up slowly, ignoring the help my mother is trying to give me. I refuse to be weak. I refuse to let him know he hurt me. So I hold my head high, covering my injured nose as I walk out of the kitchen.

And no one stops me.

Because I don't f.u.c.king matter.

Reaching my room, I push the door open and go straight to my bathroom to clean up. Holding on to the sink, I suck in a sob as my blood drips into my sink. The last time blood was on this sink, I caused it. I sat here and dragged the knife so far into my skin that my wrists still burn to this day. I can still see the blood pouring from them and the feeling of weakness spilling from my body. I can't do this anymore. I can't be around these people.

They only hurt me.

When a towel appears in front of my face, I look up to see Julian. Taking it from him, I sniff before holding it to my face. ”Don't cry, Avery,” he says, cupping my shoulder. ”They aren't worth your tears.” My head jerks in a nod as he smiles. ”Anything you need?”

Jace. I need Jace.

Shaking my head, my voice is m.u.f.fled as I say, ”No, I'm fine. I'm just gonna go to bed.”

”Okay, call for me if you do.”

”Thank you,” I say as he turns and leaves the room, shutting my door in the process. Closing my eyes, I lean back into the sink and then slide down it, welcoming the pain of the k.n.o.bs digging into my back. When my b.u.t.t hits the floor, I shake my head, unsure why this is the family G.o.d chose for me. Why couldn't I get a supportive, loving family like Jace? Yeah, it's a little damaged, but aren't we all? I know I am.

That shouldn't matter. My mom should love me-they all should-but yet no one hasn't even come to check on me. Nope. Nothing. I just don't understand, but it's starting to make me realize that maybe it wasn't me who wasn't enough. Maybe it was they who weren't enough for me. Maybe I'm not the problem, or it isn't even hockey that's the problem.

It's them.

Because Jace wouldn't ever let that happen, neither would his momma. h.e.l.l, his whole family. They would never speak to each other like that. They would be there for each other, lifting each other up. h.e.l.l, they do the same for me, and they don't even know me. Yeah, they may wrestle and be silly, but they would never push someone with the intent to hurt them. No, only the people who are my blood do this to me. What did I ever do to deserve this?

Closing my eyes, the tears come fast down my throbbing face. Everything hurts. My face, my body, my heart. G.o.d, my heart hurts most of all. I just want Jace. I want Nashville. I want to never see these people again. I don't ever want to feel like I'm not even home, when that's exactly where I'm supposed to be. No one should feel like this. Like the walls are closing in and you are alone. It just isn't fair.

When my phone sounds with a notification, I think it's a text. I pull my phone out, still holding my head up to keep the blood at bay. When I see that it's a notification from Facebook, I plan to ignore it, but then I see that Jace has been tagged in a photo by Delanie Collins. I swallow hard, blinking away my tears as I slide the notification over and wait for my Facebook to load.

Then I wish I hadn't.

Because staring back at me is a picture of the man I love, grinning, while his so-called ex-girlfriend kisses the side of his mouth.

Delanie Collins with Jace Sinclair: So good to be with this guy tonight. I've missed him more than I care to admit. Let the good times roll! #backtogether #timeapartisnothing #justlikebefore #boyfriendmaterial As a new round of sobs burns in my chest, I can only shake my head.

Apparently, I don't matter to anyone.

I don't exist.

Because the love of my life looks pretty happy without me, while I'm sitting on my bathroom floor, sobbing and bleeding, not only from my nose but my heart.

All I can feel is empty.

Completely empty.