Part 47 (1/2)

But Jace shakes his head. ”But yet, Caleb claims he quit 'cause of your dad, your family, and they loved him. They don't know me. I'm nothing to them. So what does that mean for me?”

”It means nothing because all that matters is us. They don't matter,” I cry, my tears dripping off my jaw. When his hands drop from my shoulders, I start to cry harder because he isn't taking me into his arms.

”I don't know if I can believe that, and that's what scares me, Avery.”

I move my hand along my cheek, catching my tears. Why is this happening? Why is Caleb lying about my family? Why is he still tormenting me? d.a.m.n it. As apprehension fills my body, I know what this means. As much as I don't want to say it, give it voice, I ask, ”So, what? You're breaking up with me?”

I'm surprised when he shrugs. ”I don't know.”

My face scrunches up, my tears coming faster. ”You don't know?”

He shakes his head. ”I don't. I need time to think. So you go, and we'll talk when you come back.”

”But how does that make sense?” I shriek, my heart hurting. ”Either end it or don't. Don't drag me along, letting me think the worst.”

”No, don't do that,” he barks back at me. ”Give me time. You've lied, you've held back s.h.i.+t. The least you can do is give me time to think.”

I shake my head, because I refuse to be walked all over. ”If you want me, stay with me. Forgive me because I've apologized. Believe I lied, if that's what you want to call it. But I did it because of what it did to me. I'm telling the truth about my dad. And Caleb is a lying b.a.s.t.a.r.d, I can promise you that,” I hiss out, my tears falling into my mouth as I talk. ”But if you don't want me, if I don't mean enough to you, and you're too scared to love me because of some lies from people who don't even matter, then let me go.”

”That's not fair,” he seethes, his eyes wild. ”I need time. I need to sort through this.”

”Sort through what?”

”The truth!” he yells back, and when a tear rolls down his cheek, I'm done.

I shake my head as I look away. ”Do you love me, Jace?”

”Yes. You know I do.”

”Then what is the problem?

”I'm scared, Avery. I can't lose my career.”

It's like he's cutting me. Like he's the one with the blade now.

Closing my eyes, I don't know why I even ask the next question. I know the answer-I've always known it, yet I need to hear it from his lips. ”So hockey is more important than me?”

His eyes are angry. ”Don't do that. Don't make me choose. That's not right.”

”Isn't that what you're doing? Trying to figure out if I'm worth the risk? When there isn't even a f.u.c.king risk because my dad doesn't f.u.c.king care who I am dating!”

”The proof is right here,” he says, holding his phone up. ”Your dad does care, and I don't know what that means for me.”

”What it means is that you are choosing hockey over me.”

”That's not what I f.u.c.king said. I just need some time. Give me some f.u.c.king time!”

”Fine, take all the time you need because I'm breaking up with you.”

f.u.c.k, did I really say that? When his eyes widen, I know I did. Instantly, I regret it, but I refuse to let him know that. I won't be second f.u.c.king best.

”What the f.u.c.k, Avery?” he yells, but I know I'm doing the right thing.

Or at least, I think I am.

Lifting my bag, I put it on my shoulder and look at him. ”I've been second f.u.c.king best to that sport my whole life, and I won't be any longer. I love you, Jace, I do. And this hurts more than I can even explain, but there is nothing else to say.” My voice breaks and tears still trickle down my face. I don't want this. I don't want to break up. But d.a.m.n it, I said I wanted more. I want to be important.

I go to walk around him, but he takes me by my arm, stopping me. ”There is plenty to f.u.c.king say.”

”No, there isn't.” I pull my arm from his and reach for my car door. ”Good luck to you.”

Despite his protests, I get in, slamming the door and starting my car. I ignore when he starts beating on the window, demanding I get out and talk to him. Because I can't. I can't do this to me. I matter too much. I hit reverse as he hobbles back from the car, shaking his head. Without even looking at him, I pull away as my heart breaks even more. I don't know how that happened. I can only ask why.

But I can't help myself, and I look in the mirror to see him with his hands on his head, his elbows in the air, and tears in his eyes.

And all I can think is...

This is what true heartbreak feels like.

Jace: Really? Come on, talk to me.

Jace: Don't be like this.

Jace: Are you really ignoring me? I've called you seven times.

Jace: Avery, this isn't fair. You have to get what I'm saying here. I don't want to lose you, I love you.

Jace: Come on. I was trying to be honest.

Jace: You know that thing you have a hard time with.

Jace: Ignore that last message, I'm just p.i.s.sed. I keep calling. You won't answer. Just answer me.

Jace: Avery. For real. This is insane.

Jace: I went to your dorm, you aren't there and you aren't answering my calls. Are you okay?

Jace: Okay, really? You can text Mekena to tell her to tell me to leave, but you can't text me?

Jace: I can't believe you are acting like this. I thought you loved me.

I do. I love him so much I'm surprised I was able to get to Stu's office and back without cras.h.i.+ng my car. The pain I'm feeling is completely indescribable. It hurts. Everywhere. I can't believe this has happened. My day had started off so well. I was actually okay with going home, but now, I'm so f.u.c.king mad and hurt that my brothers better watch out.

I'm out for blood.

And not mine.

Theirs.

Throwing my phone into the bottom of my bag, I turn off my car and pause when it starts to ring.