Part 39 (1/2)

”Because you know, I do some wicked backup vocals. Plus, I've got some mean-a.s.s beats. I got you.”

I shudder in horror. ”Thanks, but I'll pa.s.s.”

He grins and I smile back until I hear, ”Hey, guys. Avery, you almost ready?”

I nod and don't miss the way Jace glares at Todd, which only makes me smile more. ”Almost, I'll meet you back there.”

”Cool,” he says with a grin and then walks away without another word. I glance back at Jace, and he's still glaring. His face kills me, and I still can't believe that only two days ago I could have lost him. It was all my fault, I know that, but I shut down, unable to own up to the fact that I hid who my dad was. I'm just so used to doing it that I did it to the one person I care about. I still feel bad about it. Jace, though, all he cares about is moving forward.

”So is Todd going to be backup vocals?” he asks, emphasizing Todd's name in a snide way.

”No,” I say simply, moving my fingers down my strings.

”Good. And you know, you're lucky I'm confident and not jealous of you two singing together.”

I scoff. ”You are jealous.”

He waves me off. ”No proof of that.”

”Jace, you're glaring at him like he stole your hockey stick and set it on fire.”

He rolls his eyes. ”Please, he couldn't get near my sticks, for one. And for two, I'm sure my look is more along the lines of 'Don't touch my woman.'”

I grin. ”Fine, whatever. He means nothing.”

”d.a.m.n right, and you best believe he couldn't make you scream or squirm the way I do,” he says, reaching under the table, his fingers dancing along the inside of my thighs. Unlike before, when I would tense up, now I only giggle and bat away his hand. It's so great to be able to enjoy his touches and not freak out that he could find out about my scars because he already knows and accepts me. I kind of wish I would have told him sooner, that I would have let him in. I think I underestimated him, and I regret that.

Maybe if I hadn't been so hung up on the fact that no one could love me, I could have enjoyed him the way I am now, sooner. Because now... G.o.d, I'm in bliss. Like pure, unadulterated harmony. The last couple days have been perfect and everything I've ever wanted. I always wanted that fairy-tale love, and I think I got it. He completes me, fills the holes and the dents inside me, and I couldn't ask for someone to be so in tune with me.

He's my song.

But yet, Friday night continues to weigh heavily on me.

I still can't shake that I sort of lied to him. When he asked if there would be any more surprises, I said no, because I feel what happened with Caleb shouldn't be a surprise. I feel like it shouldn't ever come up, and I'm okay with that. I'm starting to let it go, or at least I hope I am. I need to. One of the things Dr. Gla.s.scoy said was to banish the whole thing from my head and enjoy what is looking at me daily.

That's Jace.

So while I think I should tell him, I feel like that's going backward. I want to shoot forward. I want to live and I've got to let go of my past. I've got to let go of the pain Caleb caused, and I've definitely got to let go of the pain my family has put me through. They don't want me, fine. Jace does, and that's everything to me.

”So after the show, you got plans?”

I look up, his dark, l.u.s.t-filled gaze locking on mine. ”Nope.”

”Good, Markus has a date tonight. So I was thinking I could take you back to my place and make you scream my name for a couple of hours.”

Breathless, I grin as I shrug. ”How? Playing Mario Kart 'cause you're a cheater?”

He glares, his eyes still so dark as a grin pulls at his lips. ”I don't cheat. I'm a winner at all I do. Especially when I'm between those thighs of yours,” he says so low and so dirty that heat gathers between those very thighs.

Swallowing hard, I look away, shaking my head. ”Jeez, Jace, I've got to go onstage.”

”Yup, and while you're singing with that dude, you'll be thinking of me.”

Standing up, I roll my eyes. ”I always think of you.”

He grins, reaching for me and pulling me into his lap. Lord, he's hard. Wrapping one arm around his neck since my other is holding my guitar, I lean my head toward his as he says, ”Good, but just to be sure, I can't wait to have you in my mouth, my fingers-”

”Jace Ryan Sinclair!”

He only grins, his eyes sinful as his arms tighten around my waist. ”Fine, fine,” he laughs, his lips traveling up my neck. ”Hurry up so I can take you home.”

I close my eyes as his lips travel up my neck then along my jaw before taking my lips with his. Falling deeply into the kiss, I don't want to do anything else but be right here. In his arms, his mouth moving with mine. When I pull back, his eyes sparkle with desire, and I swear, I'll never feel anything like what I feel right now. This all-consuming kind of feeling that is putting me on the edge but also on top of the world.

Because I'm pretty sure I'm in love with him.

The reason I say pretty sure is because something is holding me back. The last time I loved someone, I almost died from it, and that scares me. Scares me to let go of that control and allow myself to fall so d.a.m.n hard for him. But I'm finding I can't control what I feel for him. That these feelings are out of control and I should just accept it. Embrace it because there won't be another love like ours. People beg to feel like this about someone. h.e.l.l, they write songs about it. And as I fall deeper into Jace's eyes, I'm living all my favorite songs.

Cupping my face, he grins. ”Got something to say?”

His eyes are challenging, like he knows what is going on in my head. It's crazy how he does that. But I shake my head. ”You're hot.”

He smirks. ”Duh.”

Rolling my eyes, I get up as he smacks my a.s.s. I flash him a grin before heading toward the back. As I walk away, I feel his gaze on me and I love it. I love that no matter where we are, together or apart, I know he is thinking about me. That I matter to him. He couldn't ignore me if he tried, and the same goes for me. I'm immersed in him and as much as it worries me, losing that control, I wouldn't trust anyone but him with my heart.

I mean, just look at the way he cares for his family. He calls Angie three times a week just to talk to her. About nothing. He just loves her. His mom, every day he talks to her. His siblings, the same. A day doesn't go by when he doesn't talk to his family, and I love that so much. It's so beautiful and speaks volumes for the kind of person he is. He loves. With all his f.u.c.king heart, and I would be the luckiest girl in the world to be on the receiving end of that kind of love. He's everything I never knew I could ever want or need.

Yeah, I need him.

Which might be pathetic in some people's eyes, but in mine, it's perfect. He makes me happy, and since I've never had that, I'm holding on tight. That does freak me out a bit. Am I grasping and holding on just because I've never had it, or is it real? I go back and forth asking that question. But when I look in his eyes or I see him across campus and he's grinning ear to ear at the sight of me, or when he sits front row at all my gigs, or when he looks up at me from the ice, making sure I'm there, I can't help but believe it's real. That I found the one.

Grinning, I head to the back as Todd comes out. ”Ready?”

I nod. ”Yeah, let's do this.”

”Awesome.”

We already set up and we were supposed to go on ten minutes ago, but, oh well. Jace got off late and I wanted to visit with him. I doubt Todd minds because he's all smiles.

I follow him onto the stage, and the crowd is a little less packed than normal tonight, but I don't care. I'm not worried about anyone but the guy three tables back, devouring a sub. We start with Todd's set, and I'm really only here to support him and make him sound better. I think I do that, but I can't tell since Jace just looks bored. It's obvious he doesn't like Todd, and I think it's funny. That a guy is actually so into me to be jealous of someone else. It makes me feel a certain way and I almost forget the words to Todd's song, causing me to look away.

Like I thought before, he's a distraction.

When Todd's set is over, we turn to the center, our guitars facing each other. With his gaze on me, he starts the intricate opening to ”I Was Made For Loving You” by Tori Kelly and Ed Sheeran. It's my favorite song right now. Mainly because it reminds me of Jace. As I join in, my fingers moving along the strings in unison with Todd's, I start to sing, my eyes closed and the lyrics coming from my soul. I swear they wrote this song with Jace and me in mind. As I sing, a little grin on my face, I can't help but wish it was Jace who was singing with me.

If he could sing.

As Todd joins me on the chorus, our voices blend so perfectly, I'm almost speechless at how awesome we sound. When he takes his part, I open my eyes to find that his eyes are locked on mine. There's intensity in his eyes and maybe something more.

Jesus.