Part 16 (2/2)
The Individual, with his usual caution, inquired how much she proposed to charge for her services. She responded thus:
”I tell your for_toon_ fier ein tollar, or I can tell your for_toon_ fier ein half-tollar.”
Fifty cents' worth was enough to begin with, so she took his left hand in her huge fist, and as a preliminary operation squeezed it till he gave it up for lost, and in the intervals of his suffering hastily ran over in his mind the various ways in which one-handed people get a living; then she relented and did not deprive him of that useful member, but said:
”You have goot hand, vera goot hand-your hand gifs you goot fortoon. You was born under goot blanet, vera nice blanet, you have vera nice fortoon. You have mooch rich, vera great monish; you haf seen drubbles, (trouble) vera mooch drubbles-more drubbles you haf seen, as you will see some more-dat is, you shall not have so many drubbles py and py as you haf had long ago, for you haf goot blanet. You will journeys make mooch in footoor (future) years. You will have two wifes and mooch kindes (children) in der footoor years, and you will be vera mooch happy und bleasant mit der wife vot you shall have der first dime, but not so mooch happy und bleasant mit der wife vot you shall have der two time, but you shall vera mooch monish have in der fortoor years.”
She then released the hand of her visitor, who was very glad to get it back again, and took up a pack of cards, which she manipulated in the customary style, and then said:
”Your carts run vera nice; you have goot carts; here is a shentleman's as ish vera goot to you, he is great friends mit you: here is a letter vot you shall be come to you right avays vera soon-it ish goot news to you; you must do joost vot das letter says. Here ish a brown girls vot lofs (loves) you vera mooch, but you do not lofs dat girls, so much as das girls lofs you-you will not be der vife of das girl, for there is anunther girls vot you lofs bretty bad und you will marry her; she is bretty goot girls und you will be happy, you will hof lots of kindes mit das girls. Das girls haf a man now vos lof her vera mooch-he is was you call das soldier; he lofs her mooch but he shall not hof her, you shall hof das girls. Here is great man was will be good friend to you; he ish vera great man, a big king; not vas you call der konig, but your big mans, your, vos is das, your bresident-de bresident bees goot friends mit you-here is dark mans, he ish no goot friend mit you, und you must keep away from das dark mans.”
This was all the information she appeared to derive from this pack, which were ordinary playing cards, so she laid them aside and took up the regular fortune-telling cards, which are covered with various mysterious devices. These did not seem to communicate anything of very special importance in addition to what she had already said, for she examined them closely and then merely summed up as follows:
”Goot fortoon, goot blanet, goot vifes, blenty monish, mooch kindes, not more troubles in der footoor years, big friends, bresident mooch friends mit you, lif long, ninety-nine years before you die, leave fortoon to vife und two kindes.”
The Individual was curious to inquire wherein the fifty-cent dose he had received, differed from the fortunes for which she charged ”ein tollar,” and he received the following information:
”For ein tollar I gifs you a charm as you vears on your necks, und it gifs you goot luck for ever, und you never gets drownded, und you lifs long viles, und you bees rich und vera mooch happy.”
The Madame was also good-natured enough to exhibit one of these powerful charms to her customer. It was a piece of parchment, originally about four inches square, but which had been scalloped on the edges, and otherwise cut and carved; on it were inscribed in German, several cabalistic words; this potent doc.u.ment was to be always worn next the heart.
Madame de Bellini has been in New York but a year or two; she speaks French and German, and is taking lessons in English from an American lady. She has many customers, mostly German, and, as in the case of all the other witches, the greatest majority of her visitors are women.
MADAME LEBOND, No. 175 HUDSON STREET.
The house in which this woman was sojourning at the time of the visit hereinafter described, is a boarding-house, and the room of the Madame is the back parlor on the second floor.
The Individual was received at the door by a short, greasy, dirty man, about forty years of age, who invited him into the front parlor, to wait until the Madame was disengaged. This man, who is an ignorant, half-imbecile person, pa.s.ses for the husband of the fortune teller, and is known as _Doctor_ Lebond. He is a man of peculiar appearance; the top of his head is perfectly bald, and the fringe of hair about the lower part of it, is twisted into long corkscrew ringlets, that fall low down on his shoulders.
He informed the customer that the Madame was then engaged, but he seemed undecided about the exact nature of her present employment.
He first said she was ”tellin' the futur for a young gal;” then she was ”engaged with a literary man;” then ”a dry-goods merchant wanted to find out if his head clerk didn't drink;” but finally he said that ”Madame L. is a eatin' of her dinner.” After some ingenious drawing-out, the _Doctor_ vouchsafed the subjoined statement of his business prospects.
”We seen the time when we hadn't fifteen minutes a day, on account of young gals a comin' for to have their fortune told; we used to be busy from mornin' till ten and 'levin o'clock at night a-tellin' fortunes an' a doctorin'-but now, we don't do so much 'cause the young gals don't like to come to a boardin'-house where young men can see 'em, 'specially in the evenin'. We's too public here; the young men a-boardin' here likes for to have the young gals come, they likes for to see 'em in the parlor, but the young gals won't come so much, 'cause we's too public. We'll have for to get another house on account of business.
”I don't get so much doctorin' to do as I used to, 'cause we's too public. I have doctored lots of folks, princ.i.p.ally young fellers and young gals, and I can do it right. If you ever get into any trouble you'll find me and my wife _all right_; you can come to us-we mean to be all right, and to give everybody the worth of their money, and we _is_ all right.”
By this time, Madame Lebond had finished her dinner, and was waiting in the back parlor. She is a fat, slovenly-looking woman, forty years old or more, having no teeth, and taking prodigious quant.i.ties of snuff, which gives her enunciation some peculiar characteristics.
When the Individual first beheld her, she was standing in the middle of the floor, picking her teeth. She requested her visitor to take a seat, and to pay her half-a-dollar, with both of which requests he complied. She then put into his hand the end of a bra.s.s tube about an inch in diameter and a foot long, and said: ”Give be the tibe of your birth as dear as possible.”
This was done, and the following brief dialogue ensued:-
”Was you bord id the bording?”
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