Part 5 (1/2)
Then, without asking him what he wished for, or whether he wished for anything, she shuffled the cards a few seconds, and read off their mysterious significance as follows, her curious and anxious customer looking furtively around, meanwhile, to spy out the hiding-place of the wooden courser:
”'Pears to me you will have good luck in futur, though it seems to me that you have had a great deal of bad luck and misfortune in your life; but you will certainly do better in your futur days than you have done yet in your life, at least, so it seems to me.
'Pears to me your good luck will commence right away, pretty soon, immediate, in a very few days; you will have some great good luck befal you within a 9. I designate time by days, and weeks, and months, and sometimes years, so this good luck of which I told you, you will certainly have within 9 days, or 9 weeks, or 9 months, or possibly 9 years-9 days I think; yes, I am sure; within 9 days, at least so it 'pears to me. You are going to make a change in your business, so it seems to me-you are going to leave your present business, and make a change; you will make this change within a 7, which may be 7 days or weeks; weeks I think, yes certainly within 7 weeks, at least so it 'pears to me-this change in your business which will take place in 7 days, or weeks, I think, yes weeks I'm sure, will be a change for the better, and you will profit by it much, at least so it seems to me-and it will come to pa.s.s within a 7; as I said before, within a 7, months or days it may be, but weeks I think; yes, now I look again, within a 7, weeks I'm certain, at least, so it 'pears to me-you will receive a letter within a 3; years, perhaps, months, it may be, but still it looks like days; yes, days I'm sure, days it must be; within a 3, and days they are; you will receive a letter within 3 days, I'm positively sure, or so it 'pears to me.
You have friends across water, from whom you will hear speedily and soon, within a 5, which may be months, although I think not, for it looks like years; did I say years? no, days; yes, days it is again; within a 5, and days they are; this letter you will have within 5 days; it will contain excellent news, which will please you much; money, the news will be, and you will get the letter within a 5, which may be months or years, but days it looks like, and first-rate news it is, of money; I am positively certain that it is within a 5, at least it seems so to me. You face up good luck and prosperity, and you will be very rich before you die, though I do not see how you are to get your money, whether by business or legacy; but you will be very rich, or so it seems to me. You will receive some money within a 4; it will be in three parcels, and there will be considerable of it.
You will get it in three parcels within a 4, not hours, nor years, nor yet months, but weeks; money in three parcels within a 4, and weeks they are, I'm certain. The money will be in three parcels-three parcels; in three parcels you will get money within a 4, which, now I look again, it may be years, but still I think not. No, it is weeks; I'm certain, at least, so it 'pears to me.
There is a lady that has a good heart for you. She is a light-complexioned lady, with black eyes; she has a good heart for you, and I do not see any trouble between you, which means that there is no opposition to your match, and that you will certainly marry her within a 2, at least so it 'pears to me.
Within a 2 you will marry this light-complexioned lady, within a 2, which is not hours, nor yet days, I think it is months. I'll look again; no, it is not months, but years; within a 2 and years they are, yes, 2 years; before a 2, and years they are, this lady will be your wife-at least, so it seems to me. 'Pears to me you will get money with her, I do not know how much, but you will certainly get money in three parcels, as I once remarked before, within a 4, which I'm sure is weeks. You will be married twice; once within a 2, once again within a 5 or 7 after your first wife dies. I think it is a 5, though it may be a 7; and months it looks like, though it may be weeks or days. You will live with your first wife a 10; days it can't be, though it looks like days-a 10, you'll live with her a 10, can it be hours, no, years it is, it must be, because you will have five children by your first wife, which makes it years-10 years it is, I know, at least so it 'pears to me. You will have five children by your first wife, but you will not raise them all. All will die but two, and then your wife will die within a 1, which is a month, or so it seems to me.”
The inquirer was charmed with the lively prospect of so many funerals, and mentally resolved to buy a couple of acres in Greenwood for the accommodation of his future family. His meditations were interrupted by the lady, who thus continued:
”You will marry a second wife, but you will have trouble about her; there is a dark-complexioned man who interferes, and who will trouble you for an 8, which may be years, although I think not, nor hours, nor days, but months; I'm sure it is-yes, the dark-complexioned man will trouble you for an 8, which I am sure is months, yes, months it is, an 8 I say, and months they are, I am certain, at least so it 'pears to me. By your second wife you will have three children, who will all live-I see a funeral here within a 6; it does not look like a friend or a relative, but it is some acquaintance, or the friend of some acquaintance, or the acquaintance of some friend-the funeral is within a 6, but it does not come very near to you-you will go to a wedding within a 3, and you will receive a present of a ring within a 2, which may be days-you will after this be very prosperous and happy, you will be very long-lived-you will get a letter and a present from the light-complexioned lady within a 9, which, as I said before, it may be hours, which I think it is, though weeks it may be, or months, or even years; though certainly within a 9, which, now I look again, is days, yes, I am sure, certain, within a 9, a letter and a present from the light-complexioned lady, a 9 it is and days, within a 9, and days they are, at least, so it 'pears to me.”
Here ended the communication, and, on inquiring the price, Johannes was astonished to learn that he had received but twenty-five cents' worth. Regretting that he had not invested a dollar in a commodity so ”cheap and very filling at the price”
for future consumption, he departed, first taking a long lingering look to find, if possible, the lurking-place of the magic broomstick charger. He didn't see it, and gave it up, and came away declaring that such a woman was not qualified to take the social position his wife must a.s.sume. He did not, however, wish to discourage her; he thought that the water-melon trade might be comprehended by a lady of her abilities, or that she could perhaps thoroughly master the pop-corn and mola.s.ses candy business, and make it lucrative.
CHAPTER VI.
In which are narrated the Wonderful Workings of Madame Morrow, the ”Astonisher,” of No. 76. Broome Street; and how, by a Crinolinic Stratagem, the ”Individual” got a Sight of his ”Future Husband.”
CHAPTER VI.
MADAME MORROW, THE ASTONISHER, No. 76 BROOME STREET.
Madame Morrow is the only one of the fortune-telling fraternity in New York who refuses to dispense her astrological favors to both s.e.xes. She positively declines receiving any visits from ”gentlemen,” and confines her business attention exclusively to ”ladies,” of whom many are her regular customers. One reason for this course of conduct is, that she imagines her own s.e.x to be the more credulous, and more readily disposed to put faith in her claims to supernatural knowledge, and she naturally prefers to deal with believers rather than with sceptics. Her ”lady”
customers are more tractable and easily managed than men, and are not so apt to ask puzzling and impertinent questions; and as the Madame can manage more of them in a day, of course the pecuniary return is larger than if she exercised her art in behalf of curious masculinity as well.
Of her history before she engaged in her present business, not much is known to those who have met her only of late years, for with regard to her early life she chooses to exercise a politic reticence. The whole ”style” of the woman, however, her dress, manner, and conversation, are strong indications that her younger and more attractive days were not pa.s.sed in a nunnery, but more probably in establishments where ”Free Love” is more than a theory. The character of the greater part of her ”lady” visitors is of a grade that goes to corroborate this supposition, and leads to the belief that among women of doubtful virtue ”old acquaintance” is not easily ”forgot.” By far the greater number of Madame Morrow's customers are girls of the town, and women of even more disreputable character.
The fact that a visit to this renowned sorceress must be paid in a feminine disguise, made the attempt to secure an interview of more than ordinary interest. How this difficulty was mastered, and how an entrance was finally effected into the citadel from which all mankind is rigorously excluded, is best told in the words of the ”Individual” who accomplished that curious feat.
How the Cash Customer visited the ”Astonisher”-How he was Astonished-and How he saw his Future Husband.
The Cash Customer in pursuit of a wife had been rebuffed, but was not disheartened. He had, so to speak, fought a number of very severe hymeneal rounds and got the worst of them all; but he had taken his punishment like a man, and had still wind and pluck to come up bravely to the matrimonial scratch when ”time” was called, and as yet showed no signs of giving in. His backers, if he'd had any, would have still been tolerably sure of their money, and not painfully anxious to hedge. The bets would have been about even that he'd win the fight yet, and come out of the battle a triumphant husband, instead of being knocked out of the field a disconsolate and discomfited bachelor.
But, although his ardor had not cooled, and though his strength and determination still held out, he had grown slightly cautious, and had conceived a plan for going like a spy into the camp of the enemy, and there thoroughly reconnoitring the positions that he had to storm, and at the same time making himself master of the wiles and stratagems that were the peculiar weapons of the female foe, and so learn some infallible way to capture a first-quality wife. At any rate, he would give himself the benefit of the doubt and make the experiment. He would a-wooing go, not apparelled in conquering broadcloth, in subjugating ma.r.s.eilles, or overpowering doeskin, but carrying the unaccustomed, but not less potent weapons of laces, moire-antique, crinoline, and gaiters.
In fact, there was also a stern necessity in the case, for the lady on whom he had now set his young affections was particular as to her customers, and did not admit the s.h.i.+rt-collar gender to the honor of her confidence.
But was this to stop him? If the lady shut out the whole masculine world from the inevitable fascinations of her superabundant charms, was it not for sweet charity's sake, that a whole community might not go into ecstatic frenzies over her peerless beauty, and all men, being stricken in love of the same woman, go to cutting each other's throats with bowie-knives and other modern improvements!
It was easy to see that _Madame Morrow_ did not want to become another Helen, to be abducted to some modern Troy, and have a ten years' row, and any quant.i.ty of habeas corpuses, and innumerable contempts of interminable courts, after the modern fas.h.i.+on of conducting a strife about a runaway maiden.
Such a considerate beauty, veiling her undoubted fascinations from the rude gaze of man, from purely prudential reasons, must be a prize of rare value, and well worth the winning.