Part 10 (2/2)

I realized the music had changed. It wasnt the pounding technopop it had been a minute before, when all the other girls had been heading out onto the stage. It had turned into a more mellow, haunting melody.

A second later, I heard a deep, British-accented male voice singing from the stage: Nikki, oh, NikkiThe thing of it is, girlin spite of it allI really do thinkI love you.

If I hadnt been hyperventilating before, I was definitely about to then. Oh, great. Gabriel Luna, a guy Id met maybe four or five times in my life, loved me? Yeah. I didnt think so.

Wellit was just a song. Just the song that, as soon as it hit the airwaves when this show goes live New Years Eve, everyone was going to be humming, instead of the Stark Quark song. Or at least, I supposed thats what Gabriel Luna and Stark record label were hoping.

Nikki, Shauna said again. Go.

I went. I wandered out onto the runway in a daze. I was trying to remember my sa.s.sy catwalk strut, but it was really hard when all I could think about was Gabriel Luna loves me? Really? No. No, he couldnt. Every time I saw him, I was doing something boneheaded, like getting carried around by Brandon Stark, or being in a hospital, recovering from a transplanted brain. He didnt love me. This was all just a publicity stunt. A Starkengineered publicity stunt. After all, thats why he was in this country and not back in his native England in the first place, right? To further his career?

But as I moved out more centrally onto the stage, and I saw him there with his guitar, wearing a faded blue s.h.i.+rt beneath a brown suede jacket over jeans, I could sort of see why Frida and her friends were so gaga over him. I mean, he looked really cute. And he was looking right at me, not smiling, not frowning, just looking, super-intently, as he sang, Its not the way that you walk, girlthe way that you smile or the way that you lookits just the way you move methe way that you move methat makes me say, Nikki, oh, NikkiThe thing of it is, girlin spite of it allI really do thinkI love you.

All I could think was what I thought every time I saw him, which was, Oh, my G.o.d. Fridas right. He is kinda hot.

But at the same time, I realized he wasnt my kind of hot. If that makes any sense.

I was trying to keep my gaze on where I was going”down the runway”but the truth was, I could hardly see two feet in front of me, the lights were so bright, plus they were reflecting up off the diamonds in my bra”and that was a lot of reflection, let me tell you. There were diamond rainbows dancing everywhere before my eyes. I couldnt see a thing as I looked out toward the lights”nothing except rainbows. I tried to remember what Kelley had told me about feeling with my feet for the edge of the catwalk so I didnt sa.s.sy-strut my way right off it.

But it was hard to do that without inching along like I was walking the plank on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disney World.

Alessandro seemed to realize I was in trouble and shouted from somewhere out in the vast emptiness of the studio, Yes, Nikki! Youre doing fine! Nowturn!

I turned on his command, trusting he wouldnt lead me astray. And he hadnt. Suddenly, I was facing away from the lights, and I could see again. What I saw was Gabriel at the opposite end of the catwalk. He was grinning at me a little now. Only through some trick of the lights, for a moment his dark hair looked gold, and his blue eyes seemed, just for a second, to belong to someone else.

The thing of it is, girlin spite of it allI really do thinkI love you.

G.o.d! What I wouldnt give to hear those words coming out of Christophers mouth. About me. Not me the way I was, but me the way I am now.

And okay, maybe his song was only a publicity gimmick.

But I knew that somehow, coming from Christopher, Id have believed those words. Id have believed them in a second. Why, oh why, was it Gabriel and not Christopher saying he loved me?

And then suddenly, right as Gabriel was. .h.i.tting his third chorus of I love yous, my foot landed on something that was not catwalk or air. I didnt know what it was, but it was softand it was slippery.

And it caused my feet to go flying right out from under me.

Only, since I wasnt really an angel, and my wings didnt actually work, I didnt just float lightly off into the air.

I came cras.h.i.+ng down, hard.

THIRTEEN.

JUST KEEP YOUR GAZE STRAIGHT AHEAD, dont look into the light.

Thats what Dr. Higgins told me as I sat on the examination table in front of her. She was flas.h.i.+ng a beam from a penlight into my eyes. I guess she wanted to see if Nikkis brain had come loose or something after my huge and embarra.s.sing tumble on the catwalk at the Stark Angel dress rehearsal.

Honestly, I told her, doing as she asked and looking straight ahead, Im fine.

Shhh, she said. Dont talk.

Id been a.s.suring everyone that I was fine”except for my wounded dignity (and backside)”but everyone had just shushed me. I guess they all thought no one could take that hard a tumble and not be hurt. Alessandro was the one whod insisted I be checked out by a medical professional.

And of course, when the Stark security town car stopped and I found myself in the Stark Inst.i.tute for Neurology and Neurosurgery, I wasnt surprised. I was right back where Id started. Well, sort of.

Are you experiencing any double vision? she wanted to know. Dr. Higgins was all business. Apparently she, and not Dr. Holcombe, whod been part of the team that performed my brain transplant, was the one on call tonight. Headache? Nausea?

No, I said. No, and no. I told you. I just slipped. On this. I held up the object Id slipped on, which Id found a few seconds after Id sat up. A bunch of feathers, wadded together and tossed onto the runway. Theyd clearly been ripped from a set of Stark Angel wings.

It wasnt hard to guess who theyd belonged to, either. The last Angel to walk out onto the stage before me, and the one who had a particular grudge against me: Veronica.

The first face Id seen hovering above mine after Id landed was Gabriels, his blue eyes filled with concern. Gabriel Lunas blue eyes, Id noted. Not the eyes Id been fantasizing about seeing, Christopher Maloneys.

Nikki? Are you all right? Gabriel had wanted to know, putting an arm around me”as best he could with the tangle of wings behind me.

Im fine, Im fine, Id a.s.sured him. I just slipped on something”there was something on the runway And Id looked to make sure I was right, and there it was. Thank G.o.d. It wasnt just me and my utter inability to be fierce in six-inch heels.

Id made out like it must have been an accident. Alessandros face had darkened when he saw what Gabriel was holding up”because hed seized the clump of feathers from me, and turned to face the director with indignation. Thats when Alessandro began to swear in a steady stream, primarily at the costume mistresses, for not gluing the feathers down hard enough.

I hadnt corrected him. I dont know why. I knew Veronica had done it, and on purpose”You better watch your back. More like right in front of you”but Id had other important things to worry about.

Like the fact that Id known I was going to end up here, at the inst.i.tute.

And not just because they were worried about my head, either. Or at least how attached it was to the inside of my skull.

I knew theyd use this opportunity to give me a little lecture aboutwell, my behavior lately.

And sure enough There was an incident in St. John earlier this week, Dr. Higgins said, looking down at a thick white manila file she was holding. You fell there as well.

G.o.d! I knew they were watching me. I just knew it. When were they ever going to leave me alone?

Oh, thats right. As long as Im the Face of Stark, making them millions? Never.

I slipped, I corrected her. I didnt fall. Of course, technically, Id sort of jumped. But she didnt need to know that. They were making me hold on to this cliff, and it was really slippery, and I couldnt hang on anymore.

I see, Dr Higgins said, still looking down at the file. You went to visit your family recently, too. And that boy, Christopher Maloney.

It was a statement, not a question. I could only stare at her. What could I say in response, anyway? I knew the deal: I got to live in exchange for their watching”and listening in on”my every move. What was there to say about it, really?

You know wed like you to limit visitations with people from your past, Dr. Higgins went on. It will only cause people to wonder how you know them, and you wouldnt want unnecessary attention drawn to them, would you?

No, I said. But Suddenly, I felt like punching something. Or someone. Id changed out of the diamond bra and panties and wings and back into my normal clothes, so I didnt look like quite as big a freak sitting there in her office as I might have.

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