Part 4 (1/2)
CHARLEY. You're right, my Lord, upon my honour--but--
PARAMOUNT. I thought so--Well, never mind--Ha, ha, ha, who are those two fat fellows there, that go in such state?
CHARLEY. I suppose them to be a couple of Livery Tallow-chandlers, my Lord, by their big bellies.
PARAMOUNT. Ha, ha,--what work the guards would make amongst them--but they must not be called yet.--And who are those other two behind 'em?
CHARLEY. This is Mr. Hone, and the other Mr. Strap, a couple of the Corporation Barbers, forsooth.
PARAMOUNT. Ha, ha, ha, I thought they had been a couple of Dukes;--and that one--who is he with the monstrous wig?
CHARLEY. That is Mr. Alderman Pipeshank, in Newgate-street.
PARAMOUNT. A parcel of Newgate dogs altogether--Well it is a good deal of satisfaction to me to think how this fellow will be received at St.
James's; he'll not return back so pleas'd as he seems to be now, I warrant you--I have taken care he shall meet with a d----d cold reception there; he will have to make his appearance before Lord Frostyface, Lord Scarecrow, Lord Sneerwell, Lord Firebrand, Lord Mawmouth, Lord Waggonjaws, Lord Gripe, Lord Bra.s.s, Lord Surly and Lord Tribulation, as hard-fac'd fellows as himself; and the beauty of it is, not one of them loves him a whit more than I do.
CHARLEY. That will be rare diversion for them that are present; he'll look then, my Lord, like Sampson making sport for the Philistines.
PARAMOUNT. Aye, but I wish he was as blind too, as Sampson was.--Well Charley, we have been dispos'd to be a little merry with this ridiculous parade, this high life below stairs. I wish you had begun your description a little sooner, before they were all gone; the looks of these wiseacres afford us some mirth, tho' we despise them and their politics, and it's not unlikely it may end in blood--Be it so, I'm prepar'd for the worst.
CHARLEY. Rather so, my Lord, than submit to such rascals.
PARAMOUNT. I'll give up my life first for a sacrifice.
[_Exit CHARLEY._
SCENE V.
_Enter MOCKLAW, POLTRON, HYPOCRITE, CATSPAW, BRAZEN, JUDAS._ [_All seated._]
PARAMOUNT. My Lords and Gentlemen, it seems opposition to our measures are making hasty strides; the discontented faction, the supporters and encouragers of rebellion, and whole hearts are tainted therewith, seem bent, if possible, on the destruction of Britain, and their own aggrandis.e.m.e.nt. Are not the daily papers filled with treasonable resolves of American congresses and committees, extracts of letters, and other infamous pieces and scurrilous pamphlets, circulating with unusual industry throughout the kingdom, by the enemies of Britain, thereby poisoning the minds of our liege subjects with their detestable tenets?--And did you not this day see the procession, and that vile miscreant Lord Patriot at their head, going to St. James's with their remonstrance, in such state and parade as manifestly tended to provoke, challenge and defy majesty itself, and the powers of government? and yet nothing done to stop their pernicious effects.--Surely, my Lords and Gentlemen, you must agree with me, that it is now become highly expedient that an immediate stop should be put to such unwarrantable and dangerous proceedings, by the most vigorous and coercive measures.
MOCKLAW. I entirely agree with your Lords.h.i.+p, and was ever firmly of opinion, that licentiousness of every kind (particularly that of the Press) is dangerous to the state; the rabble should be kept in awe by examples of severity, and a proper respect should be enforced to superiors. I have sufficiently shewn my dislike to the freedom of the Press, by the examples I have frequently made (tho' too favourable) of several Printers, and others, who had greatly trespa.s.sed, and if they still persist, other measures should be taken with them, which the laws will point out; and as to Lord Patriot, he's a fellow that has been outlaw'd, scandal-proof, little to be got by meddling with him; I would advise to let him alone for the present, and humble America first.
MR. BRAZEN. I am very clear in it, please your Lords.h.i.+p; there are numbers of men in this country who are ever studying how to perplex and entangle the state, constantly thwarting government, in ev'ry laudable undertaking; this clamorous faction must be curbed, must be subdued and crush'd--our thunder must go forth, America must be conquered. I am for blood and fire to crush the rising glories of America--They boast of her strength; she must be conquered, if half of Germany is called to our a.s.sistance.
MR. POLTRON. I entirely agree with you, Mr. Brazen; my advice is, that Lord Boston and Admiral Tombstone be immediately despatch'd to Boston, with two or three regiments (tho' one would be more than sufficient) and a few s.h.i.+ps to shut up their ports, disannul their charter, stop their trade, and the pusillanimous beggars, those scoundrel rascals, whose predominant pa.s.sion is fear, would immediately give up, on the first landing of the regulars, and fly before 'em like a hare before the hounds; that this would be the case, I p.a.w.n my honour to your Lords.h.i.+ps, nay, I'll sacrifice my life: My Lords, I have moreover the testimony of General Amherst and Colonel Grant to back my a.s.sertion; besides, here's Mr. Judas, let him speak.
LORD HYPOCRITE. If this is the same Colonel Grant that was at Fort Duquesne, the same that ran away from the French and Indians, the same that was rescued by Colonel Was.h.i.+ngton, I have no idea of his honour or testimony.
LORD POLTRON. He's a Gentleman, my Lord Hypocrite, of undoubted veracity.
LORD HYPOCRITE. You might as well have said courage too, I have exceptions against both; and as to General Amherst's a.s.sertion that he could drive all America with five thousand men, he must have been joking, as he is quite of a diff'rent opinion now.
LORD CATSPAW. What is your opinion of your countrymen, Mr. Judas, with respect to their courage?
JUDAS. The same that I have ever told you, my Lord; as to true courage they have none, I know 'em well--they have a plenty of a kind of enthusiastic zeal, which they subst.i.tute in the room of it; I am very certain they would never face the regulars, tho' with the advantage of ten to one.