Part 22 (1/2)

Ford sc.r.a.ped a stick along the ground and shrugged.

”An imaginative solution to a problem I'd have thought,” he said.

”Why can't people just learn to live together in peace and harmony?” said Arthur.

Ford gave a loud, very hollow laugh.

”Forty-two!” he said with a malicious grin, ”No, doesn't work.

Never mind.”

Arthur looked at him as if he'd gone mad and, seeing nothing to indicate the contrary, realized that it would be perfectly reasonable to a.s.sume that this had in fact happened.

”What do you think will happen to them all?” he said after a while.

”In an infinite Universe anything can happen,” said Ford, ”Even survival. Strange but true.”

A curious look came into his eyes as they pa.s.sed over the landscape and then settles again on the scene of misery below them.

”I think they'll manage for a while,” he said.

Arthur looked up sharply.

”Why do you say that?” he said.

Ford shrugged.

”Just a hunch,” he said, and refused to be drawn to any further questions.

”Look,” he said suddenly.

Arthur followed his pointing finger. Down amongst the sprawling ma.s.ses a figure was moving or perhaps lurching would be a more accurate description. He appeared to be carrying something on his shoulder. As he lurched from prostrate form to prostrate form he seemed to wave whatever the something was at them in a drunken fas.h.i.+on. After a while he gave up the struggle and collapsed in a heap.

Arthur had no idea what this was meant to mean to him.

”Movie camera,” said Ford. ”Recording the historic movement.”

”Well, I don't know about you,” said Ford again after a moment, ”but I'm off.”

He sat a while in silence.

After a while this seemed to require comment.

”Er, when you say you're off, what do you mean exactly?” said Arthur.

”Good question,” said Ford, ”I'm getting total silence.”

Looking over his shoulder Arthur saw that he was twiddling with k.n.o.bs on a small box. Ford had already introduced this box as a Sub-Etha Sens-O-Matic, but Arthur had merely nodded absently and not pursued the matter. In his mind the Universe still divided into two parts the Earth, and everything else. The Earth having been demolished to make way for a new hypers.p.a.ce bypa.s.s meant that this view of things was a little lopsided, but Arthur tended to cling to that lopsidedness as being his last remaining contact with his home. Sub-Etha Sens-O-Matics belonged firmly in the ”everything else” category.

”Not a sausage,” said Ford, shaking the thing.

Sausage, thought Arthur to himself as he gazed listlessly at the primitive world about him, what I wouldn't give for a good Earth sausage.

”Would you believe,” said Ford in exasperation, ”that there are no transmissions of any kind within light years of this benighted tip? Are you listening to me?”

”What?” said Arthur.

”We're in trouble,” said Ford.

”Oh,” said Arthur. This sounded like month-old news to him.

”Until we pick up anything on this machine,” said Ford, ”our chances of getting off this planet are zero. It may be some freak standing wave effect in the planet's magnetic field in which case we just travel round and round till we find a clear reception area. Coming?”

He picked up his gear and strode off.

Arthur looked down the hill. The man with the movie camera had struggled back up to his feet just in time to film one of his colleagues collapsing.

Arthur picked a blade of gra.s.s and strode off after Ford.

Chapter 27

”I trust you had a pleasant meal?” said Zarniwoop to Zaphod and Trillian as they rematerialized on the bridge of the stars.h.i.+p Heart of Gold and lay panting on the floor.

Zaphod opened some eyes and glowered at him.

”You,” he spat. He staggered to his feet and stomped off to find a chair to slump into. He found one and slumped into it.

”I have programmed the computer with the Improbability Coordinates pertinent to our journey,” said Zarniwoop, ”we will arrive there very shortly. Meanwhile, why don't you relax and prepare yourself for the meeting?”

Zaphod said nothing. He got up again and marched over to a small cabinet from which he pulled a bottle of old Janx spirit. He took a long pull at it.

”And when this is all done,” said Zaphod savagely, ”it's done, alright? I'm free to go and do what the h.e.l.l I like and lie on beaches and stuff?”

”It depends what transpires from the meeting,” said Zarniwoop.

”Zaphod, who is this man?” said Trillian shakily, wobbling to her feet, ”What's he doing here? Why's he on our s.h.i.+p?”

”He's a very stupid man,” said Zaphod, ”who wants to meet the man who rules the Universe.”