Volume II Part 86 (1/2)
”Ah!” exclaimed Florestan, with suppressed rage; then, feigning profound affliction, he added: ”My father, have you no pity--what can I say to you now? I do not seek to deny my faults--I only wish to explain to you the fatal cause of them. Ah, well! yes, should you again overwhelm me with cruel sarcasms, I will try to go to the end of this confession--I will try to make you understand this feverish vanity which has ruined me, because then, perhaps, you will pity me.
Yes, for one pities a fool--and I was a fool. Shutting my eyes, I abandoned myself to the dazzling vortex, into which I dragged along with me the most charming women, the most amiable men. Stop myself-- could I do it? As well say to the poet who exhausts himself, and whose genius is consuming his health, 'Pause in the midst of the inspiration which carries you away!' No! I could not; I--I! abdicate this royalty which I exercised, and return, ruined, ashamed, mocked, to the state of a plebeian--unknown; give this triumph to my rivals, whom I had until then defied, ruled, crushed! No, no, I could not! not voluntarily, at least. The fatal day came, when, for the first time, my money was wanting. I was as surprised as if this moment never could happen. Yet I had still my horses, my carriages, and the furniture of this house. My debts paid, I should still have sixty thousand francs-- perhaps--what should I do with this trifle? Then, my father, I took the first step in infamy. I was still honest. I had only spent what belonged to me; but then I began to contract debts which I could not pay. I sold all I possessed to two of my people, in order to settle with them, and to be able, for six months longer, to enjoy this luxury which intoxicated me, in spite of my creditors. To provide for my wants at play and foolish expenses, I borrowed, in the first place, from the Jews; then, to pay the Jews, from my friends. These resources exhausted, commenced a new era of my life. From an honest man I had become a chevalier d'industrie, but I was not yet criminal. However, I hesitated. I wished to take a violent resolution. I had proved in several duels that I was not afraid of death. I thought I would kill myself.”
”Indeed?” said the count, ironically.
”You do not believe me, my father?”
”It was too soon, or too late!” added the old man, quite immovable, and in the same att.i.tude.
Florestan, thinking he had alarmed his father in speaking to him of his project of suicide, thought it necessary to get up the scene again for a little stage effect. He opened a closet and took from it a little green crystal vial, and said to the count, placing it on the mantelpiece: ”An Italian quack sold me this poison.”
”And--it was for yourself?” said the old man, still leaning on his elbow.
Florestan understood the bearing of his father's words. His face now expressed real indignation, for he spoke the truth. One day, he had had the idea of killing himself--an ephemeral fantasy; people of his stamp are too cowardly to resolve coldly and without witnesses upon death, which they will boldly meet in a duel through a point of honor.
He cried, then, in a tone of truth, ”I have fallen very low, but at least not so low as that, my father! It was for myself I reserved the poison!”
”And you were afraid?” said the count, without change of position.
”I confess it, I recoiled before this dreadful extremity; nothing was yet desperate, the persons whom I owed were rich, and could wait. At my age, with my relations, I hoped for a moment, if not to repair my fortune, at least to a.s.sure myself an honorable independent position in its place. Several of my friends, perhaps, less capable than myself had made rapid strides in diplomacy. I had a velleity of ambition. I had only to request, and I was attached to the legation of Gerolstein.
Unfortunately, some days after this nomination, a gambling debt contracted with a man I hated placed me in the most cruel embarra.s.sment. I had exhausted every resource. A fatal idea occurred to me. Believing myself certain of impunity, I committed an infamous action. You see, my father, I conceal nothing from you. I confess the ignominy of my conduct. I seek to extenuate nothing. One of two resolutions remains for me to take, and I have now to decide which.
The first is to kill myself, and to leave your name dishonored, for if I do not pay to-day even the twenty-five thousand francs, the complaint is made, the affair known, and, dead or living, I am ruined.
The second means is to throw myself in the hands of my father, to say to you, save your son, save your name from infamy, and I swear to leave to-morrow for Africa, to enlist as a soldier, and either to be killed or to return some day honorably reinstated. What I now tell you, my father, is true. In face of the extremity which overwhelms me, I have no other way. Decide; either I die covered with shame, or thanks to you, I will live to repair my faults. These are not the threats and words of a young man, my father. I am now twenty-five; I bear your name; I have courage enough either to kill myself, or to become a soldier, for I will not go to the galleys.”
The count arose.
”I will not have my name dishonored,” said he coldly to Florestan.
”Oh, my father! my savior!” cried the viscount, warmly; and he was about to throw himself into the arms of his father, when he, with an icy gesture, checked the impulse.
”They wait for you until three o'clock, at the house of this man who has the forgery?”
”Yes, my father; and it is now two o'clock.”
”Let us pa.s.s into your cabinet--give me something to write with.”
”Here, my father.” The count seated himself before the desk of his son, and wrote with a firm hand:
”I engage to pay this night, at ten o'clock, the 25,000 francs which are owed by my son.
”COUNT DE SAINT REMY.”
”Your creditor insists upon having the money; notwithstanding his threats, this engagement of mine will make him consent to a new delay; he can go to Mr. Dupont, banker, in the Rue de Richelieu, No. 7, who will inform him of the value of this note.”
”Oh, father! however can--”
”You may expect me to-night; at ten o'clock. I will bring you the money. Let your creditor be here.”
”Yes, father, and after to-morrow, I start for Africa. You shall see if I am ungrateful. Then, perhaps, when I have reinstated myself, you will accept my thanks.”
”You owe me nothing; I have said my name shall be no further dishonored; it shall not be,” said M. de Saint Remy, calmly; and taking his cane, which he had placed on the bureau, he turned toward the door.