Part 18 (2/2)

Edwin didn't. He said to himself: ”I am lost.”

”What's this business o' mine for, if it isna' for you?” asked his father. ”Architecting! There's neither sense nor reason in it!

Neither sense nor reason!”

He rose and walked out. Edwin was now sobbing. In a moment his father returned, and stood in the doorway.

”Ye've been doing well, I'll say that, and I've shown it! I was beginning to have hopes of ye!” It was a great deal to say.

He departed.

”Perhaps if I hadn't stopped his d.a.m.ned old machine from going through the floor, he'd have let me off!” Edwin muttered bitterly. ”I've been too good, that's what's the matter with me!”

SEVEN.

He saw how fantastic was the whole structure of his hopes. He wondered that he had ever conceived it even wildly possible that his father would consent to architecture as a career! To ask it was to ask absurdly too much of fate. He demolished, with a violent and resentful impulse, the structure of his hopes; stamped on it angrily. He was beaten. What could he do? He could do nothing against his father. He could no more change his father than the course of a river. He was beaten. He saw his case in its true light.

Mrs Nixon entered to clear the table. He turned away to hide his face, and strode pa.s.sionately off. Two hours elapsed before he appeared in the shop. n.o.body asked for him, but Mrs Nixon knew he was in the attic. At noon, Maggie, with a peculiar look, told him that Auntie Hamps had called and that he was to go and have dinner with her at one o'clock, and that his father consented. Obviously, Maggie knew the facts of the day. He was perturbed at the prospect of the visit. But he was glad; he thought he could not have lived through a dinner at the same table as Clara. He guessed that his auntie had been made aware of the situation and wished to talk to him.

EIGHT.

”Your father came to see me in such a state last night!” said Auntie Hamps, after she had dealt with his frightful cold.

Edwin was astonished by the news. Then after all his father had been afraid! ... After all perhaps he had yielded too soon! If he had held out... If he had not been a baby! ... But it was too late. The incident was now closed.

Mrs Hamps was kind, but unusually firm in her tone; which reached a sort of benevolent severity.

”Your father had such high hopes of you. Has--I should say. He couldn't imagine what on earth possessed you to write such a letter.

And I'm sure I can't. I hope you're sorry. If you'd seen your father last night you would be, I'm sure.”

”But look here, auntie,” Edwin defended himself, sneezing and wiping his nose; and he spoke of his desire. Surely he was ent.i.tled to ask, to suggest! A son could not be expected to be exactly like his father.

And so on.

No! no! She brushed all that aside. She scarcely listened to it.

”But think of the business! And just think of your father's feelings!”

Edwin spoke no more. He saw that she was absolutely incapable of putting herself in his place. He could not have explained her att.i.tude by saying that she had the vast unconscious cruelty which always goes with a perfect lack of imagination; but this was the explanation. He left her, saddened by the obvious conclusion that his auntie, whom he had always supported against his sisters, was part author of his undoing. She had undoubtedly much strengthened his father against him.

He had a gleam of suspicion that his sisters had been right, and he wrong, about Mrs Hamps. Wonderful, the cruel ruthless insight of girls--into some things!

NINE.

Not till Sat.u.r.day did the atmosphere of the Clayhanger household resume the normal. But earlier than that Edwin had already lost his resentment. It disappeared with his cold. He could not continue to bear ill-will. He accepted his destiny of immense disappointment. He shouldered it. You may call him weak or you may call him strong.

Maggie said nothing to him of the great affair. What could she have said? And the affair was so great that even Clara did not dare to exercise upon it her peculiar faculties of ridicule. It abashed her by its magnitude.

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