Part 9 (1/2)

Paati nods. Her nod says, ”You can do it.”

I plant my crutches on the ground, propel my body upward.

My leg reaches the first step.

Then, my crutches join me.

Pa says, ”Don't worry. I'm behind you.”

”How is Veda?” Mrs. Subramaniam shouts.

I want to yell, Ask me. The accident didn't damage my ears.

Her shout brings other neighbors out.

They crowd on the landings or lean out their doorways, watching me labor up the steps of our shared staircase.

They make me feel as if I'm the star attraction at a freak show.

GECKOS,.

GHOST CRABS,.

and REGENERATION

Lumbering at last into the bedroom I share with Paati, I collapse on my bed.

A gecko stares at me, its large eyes almost popping out of its sockets.

Waving its yellow-brown tail from side to side like an admonis.h.i.+ng finger, it chirps, ”Th-th-th.”

I shake a crutch at the gecko. ”Shut up!

I'm going to dance again!”

Clucking with fear, it turns tail and scurries toward the open window.

Before racing onto the branch of the pipul tree that brushes against the windowpane, the gecko drops its tail on the sill.

Feeling slightly sick, I watch the dismembered part seesawing up and down-as if alive- while the tailless gecko disappears up the tree.

Once, at the beach, when I was a child, Ma pointed at tiny ghost crabs scuttling along the seash.o.r.e and said, ”If one leg is bitten off by a predator, crabs can regenerate that lost leg.”

Pa added, ”Geckos can regrow their tails.”

I thought-how magical, how wonderful.

Paati comes in and places my s.h.i.+va statue on the table between our two beds.

I want to throw it out of the window at the gecko that's chirping loudly as if to brag about powers it has and I lack.

SOUNDS.

of

LAUGHTER.

Chandra drops in, apologizing for having been away so long. ”I was busy.”

”Busy doing what?” I demand.

She sighs. ”Okay. I wasn't busy. It's just I don't know if it helps when I visit.”

”I don't know either.”

”I feel I should come.”

”Coming to see me on my sick bed is your duty?”

”So what if it's a duty?” Chandra shakes her head. ”Don't friends have a duty to each other? Don't you see I want to help?”

”I hate seeing you walk,” I say.

It's a relief to finally confess that.

And relief to hear Chandra snap, ”Fine. Sit and stew in your self-pity.”

But then, softening her tone, she goes on, ”Sorry. I understand how you feel.”

”You can't understand, Chandra.”