Part 21 (1/2)

Father and Mother get up. Her Bible is taken from her. Her pencil and paper are taken from her. She is made to stand on the hearthrug, with her hands behind her, while Mother and Father lecture her on Blasphemy.

The bell is then rung, and Nurse is sent for. She is handed over to Nurse, with pitiless instructions. Nurse then takes her to her room, where she is undressed, put to bed, and severely slapped.

It is Sunday.... Over her little bed is a text in letters of flame: ”_Thou G.o.d seest me!_” After burning with indignation and humiliation for some time, she falls at last to sleep, with an unspoken prayer of thanksgiving to her Heavenly Father that to-morrow is Monday.

AT RANDOM

_TWO IN A TAXI_

_From Gloucester Square to Golder's Green, We flash through misty fields of light.

Oh, many lovely things are seen From Gloucester Square to Golder's Green!

We reign together, king and queen, Over the lilied London night.

From Gloucester Square to Golder's Green, We flash through misty fields of light._

_So, driver, drive your taxi well To Golder's Green from Gloucester Square.

This dreaming night may cast a spell; So, driver, drive your taxi well.

I have a wondrous tale to tell: Immortal Love is now your fare!

So, driver, drive your taxi well To Golder's Green from Gloucester Square!_

AT RANDOM

I originally planned this chapter to cover A German Night amid the two German colonies of Great Charlotte Street and Highbury; but I have a notion that the public has read all that it wants to read about Germans in London. Anyway, neither spot is lovable. I have never been able to determine whether the Germans went to Highbury and the Fitzroy regions because they found their atmosphere ready-made, or whether the districts have acquired their atmosphere from the German settlers. Certainly they have everything that is most Germanically oppressive: mist, large women, lager and leberwurst, and a moral atmosphere of the week before last that conveys to the mind the physical sensations of undigested cold sausage. So I was leaving Great Charlotte Street, and its Kaiser, its _kolossal_ and its _kultur_, to hop on the first motor-'bus that pa.s.sed, and let it take me where it would--a favourite trick of mine--when I ran into Georgie.

I have mentioned Georgie before. Georgie is one of London's echoes--one of those st.u.r.dy Bohemians who stopped living when Sala died. If you frequent the Strand or Fleet Street or Oxford Street you probably know him by sight. He is short. He wears a frock-coat, b.u.t.toned at the waist and soup-splashed at the lapels. His boots are battered, his trousers threadbare. He carries jaunty eye-gla.s.ses, a jaunty silk hat, and shaves once a week. He walks with both hands in trousers pockets and feet out-splayed. The poor laddie is sadly outmoded, but he doesn't know it.

He still lunches on a gla.s.s of stout and biscuit-and-cheese at ”The Bun Shop” in the Strand. He stills drinks whisky at ten o'clock in the morning. He still clings to the drama of the sixties, and he still addresses every one as Laddie or My Dear.

He hailed me in Oxford Street, and cried: ”Where now, laddie, where now?”

”I don't know,” I said. ”Anywhere.”

”Then I'll come with you.”

So we wandered. It was half-past seven. The night was purple, and through a gracious mist the lights glittered with subdued brilliance.

London was in song. Cabs and 'buses and the evening crowd made its music. I heard it calling me. So did Georgie. With tacit sympathy we linked arms and strolled westwards, and dropped in at one of the big bars, and talked.

We talked of the old days--before I was born. Georgie told me of the crowd that decorated the place in the nineties: that company of feverish, foolish verbal confectioners who set themselves Byronically to ruin their healths and to write self-pitiful songs about the ruins. Half a dozen elegant Sadies and Mamies were at the American end of the bar, with their escorts, drinking Horse's Necks, Maiden's Prayers, Mother's Milks, Manhattans, and Scotch Highb.a.l.l.s. Elsewhere the c.o.c.kney revellers were drinking their eternal whisky-and-sodas or beers, and their salutations led Georgie to a disquisition on the changing toasts of the last twenty years. To-day it is something short and sharp: either ”Hooray!” or ”Here's fun!” or ”Cheero!” or a non-committal ”Wow-wow!”

Ten years back it was: ”Well, Laddie, here's doing it again!” or ”Good health, old boy, and may we get all we ask for!” And ten years before that it was something even more grandiloquent.

From drink we drifted to talking about food; and I have already told you how wide is Georgie's knowledge of the business of feeding in London. We both hate the dreary, many-dished dinners of the hotels, and we both love the cosy little chop-houses, of which a few only now remain: one or two in Fleet Street, and perhaps half a dozen in the little alleys off Cornhill and Lombard Street. I agree, too, with Georgie in deploring the pa.s.sing of the public-house mid-day ordinary. From his recollections, I learn that the sixties and seventies were the halcyon days for feeding--indeed, the only time when Londoners really lived; and an elderly uncle of mine, who, at that time, went everywhere and knew everybody in the true hard-up Bohemia, tells me that there were then twenty or thirty taverns within fifty yards of Ludgate Circus, where the s.h.i.+lling ordinary was a feast for an Emperor, and whose interiors answered to that enthusiastic description of Disraeli's in _Coningsby_--perhaps the finest eulogy of the English inn ever written.

Unhappily, they are gone to make way for garish, reeking hotels and restaurants for which one has to dress. Those that remain are mere drinking-places; you can, if you wish, get a dusty sandwich, but the barmaid regards you as an idiot if you ask for one. But there are exceptions.

”The c.o.c.k,” immortalized by Tennyson, is one of the few survivals of the simple, and its waiters are among the best in London. As a rule, the English waiter is bad and the foreign waiter is good. But when you get a good English waiter you get the very best waiter in the world. There is Albert--no end of a good fellow. He shares with all English waiters a fine disregard for form; yet he has that indefinable majesty which no Continental has ever yet a.s.similated; and he has, too, a nice sense of the needs of those who work in Fleet Street. You can go to Albert (that isn't his true name) and say--

”Albert, I haven't much money to-day. What's good and what do I get most of for tenpence?” Or ”Albert--I've had a cheque to-day. What's best--and d.a.m.n the expense?” And Albert advises you in each emergency, and whether you tip him twopence or a s.h.i.+lling you receive the same polite ”Much obliged, sir!”