Part 26 (2/2)
We're in bed, the lights are out, but my mind is just racing.
”Me neither,” he says, rolling over. We've pushed our twin beds together, but even so there is still a gap. Chance is normally the one who bridges it, but tonight it's me. I'm on his side of the bed.
I take his wrist and feel his pulse. It's slow, eerily slow.
”What are you doing?”
”Counting your heartbeats.”
”Why?”
”To see if you're nervous.”
”I'm not.”
”Shush,” I tell him. I count to thirty in my head, count only twenty-five beats. ”Your resting heart rate is fifty?”
”That's pretty typical of an athlete at my age,” he tells me.
I count my own pulse. It's seventy. ”Wow, I'm like almost half more of yours.”
”Women tend to have higher pulses, anyway. Seventy is good. Means you're quite fit.”
I suck in a deep breath of air. ”I'm so sorry my Dad got you and your mother into this.”
”You don't need to apologize to me or her.”
”But still,” I say. ”I am.”
”Don't guilt yourself, Ca.s.s. That's self-indulgence.”
”I know,” I say. ”But... I guess I just want to be miserable right now. Even if you're not nervous, I am.”
”It won't help.”
”How do you not focus on it?”
”I've trained to be a fighter my whole life. Wrestling, especially, is about mental focus... patience.” He shrugs. ”I don't know. Maybe I'm lucky, maybe all those times I spent in painful locks, or when practicing boxing taking hard hooks on my chin... maybe it...”
”Immunized you?”
”Something like that. I see where I want to be. The end.”
”The destination,” I say.
”Yeah. I know I'm going to win.”
”Do you only ever see the destination?”
”If you want to win, you have to know you're going to win.”
”But what about the journey?”
He looks at me. ”Why don't you just ask me what you want to? Be straight with me.”
”What about our journey?”
He pauses. ”We're here, together, now.”
”And our destination?”
”You'll get your coveted master's degree, and any job in the field you want. Me, I'll be a champion fighter that women the world over will be crazy for. But I'll still only want you. Every woman out there will wonder what it must be like to be you, to be mine... to have me as yours. We'll be together, I'll put a baby inside you, maybe by accident.”
”Is that right?” I ask, grinning. ”Then what?”
”Then what do you want?”
”What if I don't want a baby?”
”Then we must always keep a supply of condoms nearby.”
”Got it all figured out, do you?”
”What about you? What's your plan?”
”For the first time, Chance, I haven't got one.”
”Let's say I win. What then?”
”Well... then I'll be free to do whatever I want.”
”Yes,” he tells me. ”You'll also have your share of the winnings. It'll be more than enough to get you through the summer here.”
”I could go traveling,” I say. ”Go all around Europe.”
”You could.”
”Do you like the idea of traveling?” I ask him. ”Would you want to travel with me?”
”You, and n.o.body else.”
I feel a surge of warmth, and cuddle up closer to him.
”I have faith in you. I know you'll win tomorrow.”