Part 11 (1/2)

Small , winding cobbled streets, red double-deckers, tea and crumpets, all the strange accents... basically every stereotype they play up on television here I'm about to experience... for three years, and maybe more.

”You're really lucky,” Jess says. ”I mean, I know you worked for it, but you're really lucky.”

”You should come and visit me. I'll probably be staying in a cute little townhouse or something, with housemates, and you can experience the English weather they keep talking about. We can have tea and biscuits in the back garden. What do you say?”

Jess stalls, and I know that my invite is the kind of open-ended one that friends make to each other without any real promise. But still, I can't help myself but ask her.

”Maybe,” she says. ”I'd love to visit. I'd love to travel.”

”You should come. From the UK we can just take the train to Paris! And after that, we can travel around Europe if we like. It'll be great.”

But a heavy silence comes over us, and we both do our best not to look at each other. It's so easy to talk about doing this or that, but in reality it's much more complicated.

We both realize that it's more a talking fantasy than a working plan.

”I should go,” she says eventually. ”I'm sure Dave is waiting for me by now.”

”Okay,” I say, voice soft.

”I don't know if I'll get the chance to see you again. My dad's got a bunch of family stuff planned all summer.”

”Maybe you could come around for dinner one night. Or I could go to your place?”

Jess smiles and nods. ”Sure, let's set something up. But in case I don't see you-”

”It's not like I'm leaving tomorrow.”

”In case I don't see you,” she says, ”You have a great time in England, okay? I mean it. Really try and enjoy yourself. Don't stress so much! Anyway, I'll see you in the last week of summer before you fly off again. We should be back from our family vacation to-” and she rolls her eyes ”-Niagara Falls.”

”Aren't you going to be going around Canada, too?”

”Yeah,” she says. ”I really don't want to go. I hate family vacations.”

”Well, I'll see you when you get back, then.”

She gets up, and so do I, and she wraps me up in a big hug. I feel a swell of sadness in my chest, but I can't really explain it. Maybe it's because I feel alone, especially if I won't get to see Jess all summer. She's not my only friend, but probably the only one I'd meet up with over the holidays.

”I can't wait until you visit me in England. We'll really have tons of fun traveling.”

”Me too, babe,” she says. To my surprise, she plants a huge kiss on my cheek, and then leaves my room without looking back.

And it's the weirdest thing, because Jess was never the touchy-feely type.

A few minutes pa.s.s by while I decide what to do with my evening, and that's when I see it.

Ugh.

I stare at my half-packed suitcase, and the mess of clothes and other stuff all over the floor of my room. I begin picking it up robotically, and I soon find myself thinking about Chance...

It's like I'm taken back in time. I'm at the seaside again, and I'm sitting in between his legs, and I can feel the heat of his body radiating into mine. He's rubbing his lips across the backs of my shoulders and neck, kissing me lightly, rubbing the insides of my thighs.

I'm wrapped up inside his arms, and I feel safe, insulated.

I can hardly believe I did that. I can't believe I let him finger me on the beach like that. But he was good... oh, he was so good. His fingers were better than my own ever have been. Whatever he had done, he'd finished me off so fast it even surprised me.

I smile at the thought, but then catch myself doing so in the mirror. No! It's all wrong. It would never work out.

Besides, I'm leaving soon. I'm not going to get myself into anything. My time here is limited, and soon I'll be in England living a new life for three years, maybe more if I do further study.

I make up my mind, here and now. I'm going to avoid seeing Chance if I can help it. I know I'm developing strong feelings for him, and I know I'm already planning ahead.

I mean, I was just asking Jess about s.e.x... about first times.

Why would I ask that if I didn't have a plan, even subconsciously?

I know myself too well, and I know when to cut ties.

I won't be going to any more of Chance's fights.

Chapter Thirteen.

What the h.e.l.l?

I slow the car down, certain that I'm looking at the front door to Ca.s.sie's house... left open. It's not wide open, but it is ajar, and inside it's dark.

I was pa.s.sing through, on my way to the gym for a late-night workout, and decided to take a more scenic route, if only to indulge my own thoughts and desires.

I haven't been able to stop thinking about Ca.s.sie for a long time, but after our afternoon on the beach, after she came to my fight, she dominates every waking moment of my mind.

I barely caught the ajar door. In the darkness, I might have missed it if I hadn't known it was Ca.s.sie's house.

But it is her house, and I didn't miss it. The lights are all off in the house, so why is the door open? Alarm bells start to go off in my head.

It's been a long time since families left their doors unlocked in this town.

I stop the car, and get out, and walk around the fence of the house. From the back garden, I can see the light on in one of the bedrooms, but nowhere else. I don't see any moving shadows, nor do I hear any sounds.

Truthfully, she might have just forgotten to close the door. But I know that Ca.s.sie is here all alone, that her dad hasn't come back from Vegas yet.

”f.u.c.k it,” I growl. It's wrong, and I shouldn't walk into the house, I should just close the door. But the thought that there might be someone in there burgling the place is a risk I'm not willing to take.