Part 5 (2/2)
She's huffing, wiping strands of hair that are stuck to her face and neck. She's flushed and hot and sweaty, and she's still panting, and her knees are still weak.
What can I say? I know how to finger a girl.
”You do know what I'm talking about. Don't lie, Ca.s.s. Lying isn't you.”
”Don't call me Ca.s.s.”
”Then don't lie.”
”Even if I did know what you were talking about, we're in public. I'm not that kind of girl.”
”If that's the excuse you need,” I say, looking into her eyes. ”But considering what we just did in public-”
”Excuse?” she asks, face growing somehow redder. ”For what?”
”For being afraid.”
”What would I have to be afraid of?”
She's getting awkward now. I can see I'm getting to her. I don't know why I'm doing it, but I just keep talking. That's me. I just keep on pus.h.i.+ng. I don't stop. I never stop.
”That you won't know what to do.”
”You know what, Chance,” she says, jabbing a finger at me. ”I'm telling you right now. Go away. You said you would if I told you.”
I nodded. ”I did.”
”Then do it. Do what you say you would. Live up to your word. Be a man about it.”
I shrug. ”Fine. See you later.”
”No you won't,” she says. ”No you f.u.c.king won't.”
”Whatever you say, Ca.s.s.”
”Don't call me that.”
I walk back to my car, and lean against the hood. The sun's almost fully set. The sky is streaked purple and pink now, but it will be dark soon.
In the distance, I can see her walking, carrying all her stuff. I'm staring at her a.s.s, at her legs, at the way her hair flicks with each angry step she takes.
My fingers tingle, and I flashback to moments ago. I'm fingering her, and she's in total bliss. I know what I'm doing, of course, and she's loving it.
I feel myself getting hard again. Or maybe I never stopped being hard. I don't know. I wasn't paying attention.
She disappears around a bend.
The sun disappears beneath the horizon.
I light up another cigarette.
And... somehow... I don't feel right.
Chapter Seven.
d.i.c.k.
That's the only way to describe him.
He seriously knows how to ruin a moment. Not that the moment wasn't already ruined when I realized I had just let him finger me on the beach!
I mean, what if someone had seen? What if my neighbor drove by? Or one of my teachers? Or...worse, a bunch of girls from school getting ready to go out and celebrate graduation?
But deep down I know I'm so angry about it because he was right. I was scared. I didn't know what to do. More worrying than that, I didn't know what to do next.
What, should I have just gone to town? I'd have second-guessed myself the entire time. It would have been too awkward.
I start thinking about my o.r.g.a.s.m... and I can't help but smile. Gosh, it was good, the best I ever had. I can't get my fingers deep enough inside me... my arms are too short. I don't know what he was touching, but it felt great- Stop it, I think to myself. You made a mistake, you idiot! You're a smart girl, remember? You're smarter than this!
You know not to get yourself into situations you can't handle.
Always be in control. That way, you're always prepared!
But somehow I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop thinking about the kiss we shared, the way his lips just utterly claimed mine, the way he taught me how to kiss him without needing to say anything.
I can't stop thinking about how good a kisser he was, how it felt so good to kiss him, so easy, so natural.
How I just fell into his arms, kissed him back like I was already his.
Like I was already his!
I don't belong to anybody, so how can I be thinking like this?
But there was another side to that coin, one that makes my stomach flutter, my heart race.
I kissed him like he was already mine!
I can't help but think about the feeling of pus.h.i.+ng up against him, feeling his hardness against my abdomen.
He was so hard. I mean, I always knew that men got hard, but I never really expected it to feel like that.